Mmmm.. :)

Yesterday was a pretty ordinary day in my life.. Woke up,went about doing the mundane activities of the day,saw movies as usual..

I saw this one movie called "Undiscovered".. the life of a model who's going around with a musician.. But the guy's a jerk, keeps cheating on her and all that jazz, so she leaves and decides to pursue acting as a career in another state.. And now in that state she bumps into this incredibily down to earth, singing at an eat-out every night musician..

And eventually of course they hook up.. The reason i saw this movie was because i saw my own life unfolding out.. Except for the fact that i'm not a model and i still hv'nt bumped into an "incredibly down to earth blah blah musician" every other detail fits right into place..

Right after i saw this movie.. I got online.. I was really bored.. And when im really reaalllly bored.. I get into the "Chennai Global Chat rooms" just to have a good laugh, because the people in there are absolutely hilarious.. U hv to see it to believe it..

As soon as i stepped in.. I heard music.. good music for a change.. Guitar strumming and amazing sexy deep vocals for metal songs..!!
So i stuck around.. I commented on the mains every now and then.. Requested for songs.. Went on for about 20 minutes or so till the crowd started fighting for the mike.. And so the musician dude had to step down..

About 10 minutes later i was invited for a voice conferance with the musician dude, and 2 other people..

So the virtual 1 man army gig continued.. :) I sang along, cheered like mad, requested for songs..

But at some point of the conferencing the other 2 people slipped out.. So it was just me and him.. And we got talkin..

And we ended up talking all night long.. :p I was glued on to my system till 6.30 am today..

Sigh.. :) I have'nt felt this content in ages..

If he was'nt in the UAE i wud've definetely met up with him today.. :)

Crushes..

Those annoying phenomenons which occur once in a blue moon in our lives.. Grr..!

I was a very dumb kid.. growing up i did tons of stupid things.. Heck.. i probably still am dumb..

So there was this guy.. (one of my poems here titled "A 1000 knives" is about him).. I was 13-14 or so.. and he was a college fresher.. He was my first brush with the "long haired rocker dude" variety.. and i flipped.. i flipped hard.. And my 13 year old brain convinced me into believing that he was the ONE.. Oh joy..! *ZzZz*

Chubby, wannabe guitarist, nice curly long hair.. He seemed perfect.. My knight wid a shining guitar..

And i asked him out.. yessire.. i sure did.. and of course he turned me down.. And after that i lost touch with him.. I was embarressed and hurt.. I didnt want to make a fool of myself any further.. so it seemed like the wisest thing to do..

Now fastforwarding to the future.. i cant say history repeated itself because this new guy is NOT a long haired rocker dude.. He's NOT a guitarist.. Heck we dont share a darn thing in common.. come to think of it.. Grr..!

But whenever we're together i get all blushy and giggly and its annoying..! Grr..!

Ive decided not to do anything.. Why..? 2 reasons..

Number 1.. I dont want to make a fool of myself..
Number 2.. He is waaayy out of my league.. Plus he has a zillion other potential gfs who're waiting in line..

Im just going to lay low.. wait for this annoying feeling to pass by.. I cant wait for life as i knew it to be to resume.. :/

My ayyah..

My ayyah.. a scrawny olive oyl lookalike softspoken lady..

As part of my photography portfolia's news feauture the topic i had chosen was the Little Mount Church..

More as rocky prominence than a mount, it is known as Chinnamalai to the locals.. here the Apostle Thomas chose a tiny cave as his home and led a spartan life, often praying on the top of the hill and preaching to the crowds..

A flight of 160 steps leads up to the summit of St. Thomas Mount.. It
is here that his pursuers caught St. Thomas when he fled Little Mount.. And it was here that they killed him..

So my ayyah accompanied me to the church.. she knows the priest well so just in case i need permission to use my camera she could talk to him.. plus she is a relegious church goer.. so she knows all the nooks and crannies of the church well..

It was a fun half an hour.. i followed my ayyah like mary's little lamb clicking away.. I felt very important..like a reporter on an important assignment..

The sights i saw was truely a treat for the eyes.. i had lived near this church for 8 years straight and i had'nt known of it's existance uptil now..

After i'd finished taking all the snaps i'd wanted.. my ayyah grinned and said "yein veedu pakkatilu irreken.. veriya..?" for which i nodded my head.. so she grinned again.. and motioned for me to bring my bike..

So with her walkin ahead and me driving at 2kmph right behind her we reached a street.. I left my bike on the street and followed her through a narrow passage and then a flight of stairs leading to a tiny room..

She vanished for exactly 2 seconds and came back with 2 icecreams in her hand.. She offered me one which i licked away with a feeling of guilt.. I kept thinking.. "damn.. she has other expenses.. i shudnt have let her buy this for me"..

I tried conversing with her in my broken tamil.. We had a 15 minute conversation during which time she showed me sarees my folks had given her, rent of the room and various other things which i could'nt understand.. so i just nodded and grinned along..

After i was done with the icecream.. she brought a bowl.. made me drop the icecream wrapper in the bowl.. and she poured water over my hands keeping the bowl underneath as a makeshift wash basin.. By now i had tears welling in my eyes.. I was being treated like royalty..

Finally she said.. "pollama..?" and we walked out of the room.. she insisted on dropping me back home.. so she plonked herself on my bike once again.. I drove upto the mainroad and i said.. "thankyou ayya.." she got off the bike and dropped a second packet of icecream into my bike's front pocket.. grinned and walked away..

I reached home.. walked into my bedroom and then compared the size of ayyah's house to my bedroom's and i realized i'd taken so many things for granted..

Life's been really kind to me.. And i vow to myself.. I will stop fretting over petty issues.. and i will start appreciating the small things in life a little more..

I miss u..

Twas a whirl wind affair,
It ended as soon as it had begun,

Although it was brief.. i gave you my all,
You were like a thunder before the storm,

I came alive when you were around and i'd fade wen you were away,
You completed me somehow, we seemed right..

I wished i could stay in these moments forever.. giving in to this sweet surrender..

When you left my world came colliding around me,
I was incomplete once again, a part of me died..

All that remains now are a few pictures of you etched to my brain and tis blinding pain in my chest..

Im moving on.. I have moved on.. I have met people.. But none of them are you..

I will miss u.. I will never be the same again.. A part of me will remain with you.. always..

Essense of the above.. People who walk into your life for a very brief period of time always leave an impact.. An impact which will alter your course of life forever..

People..

People.. they work in strange unpredictable mysterious ways..

Sometimes we affect people's lives and we dont realize it..

Its a good feeling.. Hearing people say nice things about you always gives you a kick.. Makes you feel special, loved, accepted, cared for..

In the words of some famous person.. "When you die and loads of people come to your funeral that proves you have lead a meaningful fruitful life.."

Hopefully tons of people would come for my funeral as well.. and its more of a "celebration of Gayatri's life" rather than a gloomy mourning affair..

To all those people who love me and have nice things to say about me.. aww.. i love u too.. *grin grin*

My friend's got a girlfriend and he hates that bitch..

Why do people choose to be with morons who treat them like dirt..?

Smart wise witty intelligent people.. turn into whiney crybabies the minute they latch on to someone..

And if you try and din sense into their heads with sentences like..
"you're too good for him/her"..
"why are u with tis jerk..? freeya vidu pa.. there are other fish in the sea.."
"why are you doing this to yourself"
"you've changed ever since you met tis asshole.. you're not the same fun person i knew once upon a time"

The response i get is.. "i love him/her.. its all worth it.. you wont understand.. relationships are all about giving and taking.. life aint a bed of roses.. when the boat of life hits some rough sea you have to steer it safely back to habour"

whew.. cut the crap..! what boat..? what life..?

being tortured day in and day out.. crying.. puffy eyes.. reporting to your respective "partner" of your every move.. eating like a bird to look all nice and pretty to impress your partner..

Naansense..!!

Live your life by the rules you lay for yourself.. dont live your life under the domination/command of anyone..!

I'm not exactly on top of the world.. but heck.. my sanity is intact.. my peace of mind is intact and i have a sound sleep every night.. Why..? Because im single..! Im a free bird.. I dont have a care in the world.. And i try not to think too much about my shitty past..

Wise men say only fools rush in.. But i cant help falling in love with u..

"Louwe".. Music, colours, head rush, glowing skin, sighing, day dreaming..

And then reality hits.. *screeching of tyres on the road* :p

I recently saw this new Kamal flick.. Vettayadu Vellayadu.. which actually reconfirmed and made me doubly sure that being single is wise.. very wise.. brr..

So the story is about these 2 demented twisted in the head boys.. they're medical students.. and they go around raping women, then they use surgical instruments to dissect,cut and do really grose yucky things in general with the body of the girl and wen she's dead they bury her..

After the first half of the movie got over i was peeing in my pants.. i was shit scared.. i clung on to all my friends.. kept holding their hands.. could'nt look at even one guy straight on his face..

I kept thinking in the lines of.. what if im being watched by the eyes of a rapist right now.. what if some guy is looking at me and saying to himself.. hey thats a fine piece of ass.. brr.. :/

The faces of those dead girls kept haunting me.. i recalled all the times i'd gone out alone.. stayed out late at night.. met onliners who i barely knew.. and i kicked myself internally.. what if something happened.. oh god.. oh dear god.. :(

In the 2nd half of the movie.. when Kamal killed the bad guys.. i was screaming in my seat.. "die bitch.. die"..

And after the movie got over i swore to myself.. NEVER again will i go to lonely deserted dark roads.. NEVER again go anywhere without telling at least a zillion people.. just in case i get raped or murdered or both.. sob.. :(

Thermal And A Quarter..

Caught these guys live last night..

A 4 member band comprising a drummer, bassist,vocalist cum lead guitarist and rhythm guitarist..

They played a lot of their original compositions,2 dire straits covers, hendrix, rhcp, mr.big..

Their originals were absolutely amazing..

The vocalist had amazing stage presense.. witty,humourous,awesome voice of course and a nice pearly white toothy grin right out of a colgate advertisement..

The drummer was kickass.. the raw energy and the power.. i cud feel it..

The crowd was sad.. really sad.. didnt do justice to the band @ all.. Madras Gymkhana Club.. the prim and proper folks of uber society.. :/ they just sat stunned for each song they played.. very feeble clapping and cheering at the end of each one of their songs.. And at one point when d vocalist asked them to sing along.. no one responded.. :( *sob*

I wished at that moment i had the ability to multiply.. I wished there were a 100 me s on the ground..

After about 2 hours the vocalist announced they'd take a 15 minute break.. I took the oppurtunity to run upto him and request him for a Deep Purple song.. for which he replied.. "we dont play deep purple covers.. sorry" and he flashed that cute grin again.. Sigh.. I think im in love.. :p

And then corny hindi music was played for which the crowd grew wild.. and i sat impatiently waiting for the band to start up again.. but my waitin was in vain.. after about 20 mins they came on stage and started dismantling all the equipment.. :(