Lap of Love

Ours is not a story of survival,

Nor was it of revival,

It was a love story,

And we're living it everyday, in all it's glory,

While we abruptly lost one,

We gained people by the ton,

This army of love,

That took us in and sheltered us in their cozy glove,

We lapped it up,

Picked ourselves up,

And wrote our happy beginning,

We saw light piercing through with one ending,

And we ran towards it,

With all our might,

The darkness still flits around,

But we choose everyday, to be drowned,

In love,

Lots and lots of warm cozy love. 

Voices

We live in a world,

Where emotions aren't allowed to unfurl,

Feel too little,

You're not belittled,

Feel too much,

And you're suddenly too much,

But we're humans,

Weren't we created to feel all shades of the season?

A song makes me cry,

And certain foods remind me of home, don't ask me why,

This is me,

And I'd like to just be,

With all my range of emotions,

I'm happy living with the commotion,

I wouldn't be any other way,

Come night or day.

Almost 38

38 years old in four days and I'll be celebrating by watching my 6 year old take stage as a Chinese narrator for his school play. The highlight of 2025 would probably be the moment my mother encouraged me to attend Ed Sheeran's concert. I blinked at her, with my mouth wide open. 

The same woman who strongly discouraged me from doing anything adventurous in life, was actually telling me to go live a little. 

As I watch the replay of Coldplay live in Ahmedabad via Disney+ Hotstar, I can't help but be instantly reminded of my late husband. Also a lead guitarist, whose dreams of playing on a stage as large as Coldplay's will forever remain unfulfilled.

I don't have the courage to physically attend a concert anywhere anymore, because the stage, the equipment and the screaming fans all remind me of him.

I proudly admitted to a close friend, just last week that I had forgotten all about my husband. How is he running in my head now, alongside Chris Martin's angelic voice?

I'd like to think of myself as more than a widow. There are other colours that fill my life. The darkest one of them all, I try my best to shake off every single day.

I pick myself up and keep moving forward for, what other choice do I have? Death is a part of life and life is a part of death.

For now, I'm happy to listen to Chris Martin croon whilst wiping away the occasional involuntary tear that's rolling down my cheeks.