38 years old in four days and I'll be celebrating by watching my 6 year old take stage as a Chinese narrator for his school play. The highlight of 2025 would probably be the moment my mother encouraged me to attend Ed Sheeran's concert. I blinked at her, with my mouth wide open.
The same woman who strongly discouraged me from doing anything adventurous in life, was actually telling me to go live a little.
As I watch the replay of Coldplay live in Ahmedabad via Disney+ Hotstar, I can't help but be instantly reminded of my late husband. Also a lead guitarist, whose dreams of playing on a stage as large as Coldplay's will forever remain unfulfilled.
I don't have the courage to physically attend a concert anywhere anymore, because the stage, the equipment and the screaming fans all remind me of him.
I proudly admitted to a close friend, just last week that I had forgotten all about my husband. How is he running in my head now, alongside Chris Martin's angelic voice?
I'd like to think of myself as more than a widow. There are other colours that fill my life. The darkest one of them all, I try my best to shake off every single day.
I pick myself up and keep moving forward for, what other choice do I have? Death is a part of life and life is a part of death.
For now, I'm happy to listen to Chris Martin croon whilst wiping away the occasional involuntary tear that's rolling down my cheeks.
