The Youngest and The Loudest

Growing up with three much older siblings, I was almost always left out from kiddie games, conversations and even card games well into my 20s. It hurt, the negligence and the neglect. But I'm just being dramatic now.

The plus side of being the youngest, was always being showered with gadgets, chocolates and clothes, much before it hit Indian shores. 

I grew up loud and attention seeking, partly because I was always left out and partly because I'm probably a little bit of a drama queen. But which woman isn't?

I spent a glorious 4 days off with my cousins in Trivandrum last week and came to realise, these men and women, along with their spouses know how to pamper me shitless.

My sweet older sister who knows absolutely nothing about superheroes, discovered a superhero store in Lulu Mall, Trivandrum. She proceeded to wake me up in the middle of my afternoon slumber and video called me to show me all the bobble heads around her. Our conversation went like this, "Gayu, do you like this little warrior lady?" 

"I already have Wonder Woman, show me someone else", I replied. "What about this masked man with an A?", she persisted. "I don't want Captain America. Do they have Spiderman hanging upside down?" I enquired. And our conversation went on like this for about a solid 5 minutes, until I zoned in on a handsome Deadpool figurine.

The next morning I was all set to catch my flight back to Chennai. I dressed up my 6 year old in a Transformers tshirt which my brother had picked up for him.

"Thanks for the wonderful Transformers tee for Riaan Swaroop chetta", I told my brother. "You're welcome. I remembered that he had Transformer toys at home", he replied. "Those toys are mine", I answered with a Cheshire cat grin.

He chuckled for a good 2 minutes and promised to buy me a Batman figurine which he had seen in the Chennai airport.

My siblings and their spouses have a special place in my heart. They've seen me in my diapers, they've seen me getting my first job, they've seen me falling in love, they've witnessed me breaking down completely 3.7 years ago and through it all they have stood by me with chocolates and toys, always handy.

What a blessing to have so many siblings and now their spouses, whom I get to call my own. What a pleasure it is to be the youngest born. 

Post Swim Blues

A mighty fall has been had,

On my butt I fell after a glorious swim, it was bad,

I felt on top of the world,

Until I found myself hurled, 

A slip of the feet,

Jute hotel slippers on wet concrete, it was quite a feat,

To have been a graceful swan one minute,

And a waddling injured duck the next, all under a minute,

I held my bum in pain,

With my left palm, which also felt sprained,

As I crawled back to my room,

I felt a sense of gloom,

I bumped into my tiny human,

Who was flanked on both side by my parents, like crewmen,

I cribbed about my mighty fall,

To them all,

Hopefully the rest of the day will be uneventful,

I'm ready to devour the scrumptious local cuisine in huge mouthfulls.

Love In A Single Frame

Love in a single frame,

All my favourite food in big fat portions, despite the pouring rain,

Thatukada chicken, naadan chilli chicken, palada payasam and mutta puffs, all under one roof,

This is proof,

That food is love and love is food,

An instant brightener of moods,

A quick trip down memory lane,

The days when life felt more sane,

No responsibilities,

A childhood filled with endless possibilities,

All revolving around games and food,

Life was simple and good,

We relive those simple days,

Through various ways,

Gobbling down food we grew up on,

Until one of us stifles a yawn,

Is one of those ways,

I can't wait for tommorow's rays,

To continue gobbling down to my heart's content.

Stranger Things

There were very few things in life poopie (my late husband) and I agree upon. Stranger Things was one of them. We had divorce inducing fights over who watched one more episode of the series alone, sneakily at night, disregarding the other.

Our taste in music, food, clothes, hobbies and lifestyle were vastly different. Yet, we were madly in love with each other.

Everytime a new season of Stranger Things drops, my heart skips a melancholic beat. I realise the vaccum in my life, left behind by my manchild husband. I suddenly have no one to argue with anymore on Stranger Things.

A world without you, even after 3 years and 7 months seems surreal. What a pity, you never got to see the Hawkins kids grow up and get into more adventures. What a pity, we can no longer binge watch the series together in complete silence. 

I'll miss you as I watch the final season this year. And I'll always wonder why this had to happen to us. 

Mothers and Tanning

Indian mothers are obsessed with their daughters tanning. Mine didn't show obvious biases except whenever it came to my career choices. "Mom I want to join the army", was met with "Shee! They'll make you cut your hair like a boy and you will do rigorous drills under the sun all day. Don't you like your hair and skin?"

"Mom, I should have continued being a journalist like Lois Lane and I may have met Superman", to which she replies, "And stand under the sun on fields all day to get one comment? Think again!"

Scorching summers, the sun and Indian mothers do not go hand in hand. I almost feel like crying and laughing when I recall these conversations today. How on earth can someone's career choices be dependent on heat?

Fifteen years in corporate communications and one child later, do I have life regrets? Yep. Just like anyone else. Therefore, the one thing that I do proudly now is to take a glorious dip under the 4pm sun in Gymkhana Club's heavily chlorinated pool.

I step out looking like an overbaked potato, nicely tanned and shriveled up. And that's my answer to tanning in the sun. Tan however much you want to, because the sun was created for you and me.

Too late to switch careers now, but it's never too late to sun-bathe and look like a juicy, burnt ripe watemelon. 

I have no solutions though, for the brain frying we endure during the weekdays. Sigh! 

Happy 70th

Wishing my mum a milestone birthday,

It's your special day,

All of 70 years old,

Your heart is filled with pure gold,

And your speech filled with wise cracks,

However much I rack,

The insides of my brain,

It certainly does not rain,

The wisdom which you disguise under sarcasm,

You've always kept me humble and advised me without words to tame my ego dragon,

Happy 70th mum,

You've seen me glum,

And you've seen me merry,

But your presence always make things feel less scary,

Enjoy your day,

Today and everyday,

We love you, 

As much as your chicken stew.

The Power of Icecream

I don't think my generation really understands depression or how to process it. We dealt with all our life problems by eating tons of icecream, deep fried food and crying. And I'm a certified whinebag. I'll mope and mope for months on end, until a good friend catches hold of me and shakes me up. After the shaking ends, I'll go back to moping.

And that's how I cope with uncomfortable life situations. Moping and crying are important to get all that negativity out of your system. Call me naive, call me too chatty, call me annoying and in your face, but the fact of the matter is, if I like you, I will share my sugar free icecream with you, forever.

Luckily, forever doesn't scare some of the best people in my life. They know I'm stuck with them and they're stuck with me. But not everyone can be chocolate sundae on a Monday (I'm chocolate sundae, of course) and I'm slowly and painfully wrapping my head around this reality.

They say by 40, you reach a balance in life, you're clear about your life goals. Perhaps I am clear. I've certainly hit a sweet spot in many aspects of my life. But the everyday juggle between work, baby and home gets to me. Me and ten billion other working parents I'm sure, so I'm not whining about that now.

May we find the strength to make peace with people and things we do not understand. May we have the power to let go of things we cannot control and most importantly, I really hope that sugar free icecream is infact sugarfree. 

Happy Monday!