Flashes..

Flashes.. teasers from my brain.. things from my past which are rewound and played over and over.. tormenting me..

When things go horribly wrong.. we move on.. somehow.. with all the courage we can muster.. But somewhere down the "healing process" lane.. we get these flashes..

Really small things.. like a Superman Returns hoarding,missed calls on my phone,a funny malayalam movie,the terrace,my guitar..

All of a sudden my determination and focus.. namely.. to move on.. crumbles.. I relive the past once again.. and after im done.. i sob hysterically for exactly 4 minutes or less and then i go numb.. Motions happen around me.. and i just get sucked into it.. i mindlessly play along with the mundane activities of the day..

I was watching this old mohanlal flick today.. "gandharvam".. and at some point.. watching the love story unfold.. i started getting one of those horrible flashes again..

The happily ever after ending somehow happens only in the movies..girl loves boy, boy loves girl.. and they wind up together with a baby..

In real life.. girl flips for boy and boy runs miles away.. girl tries to move on with her life.. trying hard to erase the memories..