The Maddening Mumbai Monsoon

The Mumbai rains are back. So are the memes and the hilarious whatsapp forwards. This time I got one from my brother in Dubai, which compared the rains to Adlabs Imagicaa's water rides. I laughed for a good two minutes and then replied to him saying, "Same story, different year." Each year, the rains are more torrential than the previous and the water logging is more tragic than the sinking of the Titanic. 

For the past two years, I've been missing out on this circus, thanks to my son. I've taken a temporary work sabbatical and am enjoying the madness from afar. But being a Mumbaikar, it's hard to miss the rains completely. Just as I step out of my house for a quick jog, looking at the clear skies, it rains. I come back home looking like a washed out whale, I get yet another shelling from my husband and my son looks on in wonder at the sight of me.

On one of these "clear sky" occasions, I stepped out of home, with the overconfidence that I look absolutely stunning. Like I never gave birth to a child. Almost diva-like. And as I walked down my locality with these dreamy thoughts in my mind, I suddenly heard, "O aunty! O aunty! Aunty-ji!". I walked on thinking, no no, it can't be me. The child must surely be calling someone else aunty ji. Afterall, I was wearing such a flattering, age reducing top. But no, horror of horrors, he looked straight at me and yelled once again "Time kya hua, aunty?".  I jerked to a halt, almost threw a stone at him and mumbled "4.15pm". 

I quickly overcame my depression, by hopping into the local kirana store. I picked up two Amul dark chocolate bars, (because no sane, weight reducing, 33 year old, round person should eat full fat chocolate) and decided to head home. Just as I stepped out of the shop, it rained. And what a torrential downpour it was! As I stood there, like a helpless frog in a storm, all I could think of was, whether to eat the chocolate right that instant or wait till i reached home. 

I gave it a nice deep thought and then decided to save it for home, as I was going to be welcomed with more shelling and "I told you so" anyway. As I reached home and saw my husband's annoyed face, I quickly handed over both chocolate bars and reassured him, that I was walking as fast as I could. However, being the loving wife that I am, I could not come home empty handed, to my sensitive husband, who baby-sat our child, for one whole hour because I wanted to exercise. 

He smiled angelically and pointed to our son, who was now dripping in mango. There was mango everywhere. And by everywhere, I mean even under the sofa cushions. Listen to me very carefully when I say this, never and I repeat NEVER, allow a man to feed your child. Half the food is wasted and everybody has a field day, except poor mommy who went through the toil of preparing the meal.

Coming back very quickly to the rains now, I've piled on 2 kilos of weight by eating whey protein bars very enthusiastically and waiting for my gym to re-open. I continue playing hide and seek with the rains. The rain Gods decide to open their faucet, only and only when I want to go for a walk. Otherwise, it's always a bright and sunny day. 

Mumbai rains, I don't love you. Never have and never will. Please go away with the same speed at which you came. Thanking you in advance, yours forever, not a fan.  

(Image Source : https://www.ndtv.com/india-news/mumbai-rains-colaba-records-heaviest-single-day-rain-in-august-in-46-years-2274977)