The Escapades of Ducky, The One Eyed Duck

My grandfather, aunt, cousins and sibling have been animal lovers, for as long as I can remember. We had a tortoise, a rabbit, some hens, dogs of course and then came the icing on the cake. My cousin, added a one eyed duck and a squirrel to this mix. Her lifelong dream was to become a veterinarian. 

Summer holidays, were always spent together in our grandparents house. On one of those holidays, she was accompanied by this screechy, one eyed duck. It was constantly attacked by our pet dogs. We always knew the exact location of the duck thanks to the dogs' desperate and relentless barking. They simply, couldn't stand the duck! 

Her parents finally had to intervene. They advised her to give the duck away to a nice homely farm, where she would be looked after well. She agreed reluctantly. So when the summer holidays came to an end, Ducky exited our household without much ado. A few days later however, we heard from the farm owner that Ducky had been murdered by a bunch of stray dogs. Her parents and our grandparents shuddered upon hearing this ghastly news. More than the Duck being murdered, their concern was how to keep this information hidden from the original Duck owner, aka my cousin.

I was the first person they caught and warned to keep mum, for nothing stayed in my stomach or mouth for too long. It was already overflowing with so much bakery food. I agreed reluctantly. I met my cousin a few months later and kept grinning like a Cheshire cat. Now how and when do I explode this bomb, I wondered devilishly.

The opportune moment came all too soon. All the adults were busy shopping for clothes. I caught hold of her and uttered only three words. "Ducky, your ducky", and I shook my head vigorously, feigning fake sadness. She immediately burst into a loud, blood-curdling howl and the waterworks began. The adults came running. One look at my face and they knew what had conspired. 

I don't know why, but even now as I recall this incident, all I can do is smile wholeheartedly. Ducks are good on the plate. Roast duck, Japanese duck, duck fry, duck curry, so many ways to eat the creature. How can you possibly think of petting one? Would you pet your pepperoni pizza or your lamb burger? Serious answers only, please. 

(Image Source : https://montreal.ctvnews.ca/duck-duck-poop-driven-by-tik-tok-trend-spca-sees-surge-in-abandoned-and-messy-ducklings-1.5521702) 

Being a Public Relations Professional

My mother's dream for me was to become a doctor, my grandmother told me to become a lawyer and my sports teacher was convinced I would become the next Badminton sensation with the right training. I nodded along to everyone's suggestions as I had no fixed ambition or goal in mind. I was simply an innocent people pleaser. But through it all I always knew that I loved people. I loved forming friendships and I fell madly in love with whoever I met. According to Google, this obsessive nature of friendship means I'm a deeply lonely person. Perhaps, I am.

When school ended, I still had no idea what I wanted to do. So I enrolled myself for a B.sc Electronic Media course, which was a mish-mash of all the forms of media available. Did I want to be a journalist? Did I want to be a news anchor? I was still confused. So I dabbled a little with print media, didn't like that, packed my bags and went back home. Next, I enrolled myself for a Masters in Public Relations, the course was easy and mundane. 

The first job I picked up after finished my Masters course was a dealbreaker. I loved my bosses, my colleagues, the work environment and my clients. I finally found my ocean to swim in. I was a happy little fish. I loved my job despite it's myriad challenges.

The good days were really great and the bad, absolutely lousy. And i miss it. I wonder when I'll be able to get back to it with a hyper toddler at home. Do I want to get back to it? The work hours with my last agency were erratic. They expected me to work endlessly, like I had no one waiting for me to get back home. 

Do I get back into P.R or a purely content writing role or should I dabble in teaching? I'm at a crossroads. One thing I know for sure is that whatever I do, it must involve an interesting set of people. Colleagues make everything livelier. Without them, what is the point of going to work? 

(Image Source : https://digitaluncovered.com/best-public-relations-agencies-in-india/) 

 

Mumbai's Kaamwali Bais; Boon or Bane?

It was during the Covid lockdown that the whole of India began to really respect their domestic help. We realized the amount of work they do, quietly and tirelessly in our houses, to keep it spotlessly clean. The kaamwali bais in Mumbai however are a different breed all together. They have the confidence of a lion in an urban jungle. The prey they hunt is you and me. With so many high rises built in a 1 km radius, it is but natural that they have a sense of pride and high self-esteem.

No house in Mumbai can function without the help of bais. Two and three per household is the norm. One for cooking, one for cleaning, one for dusting or looking after the kids/aged parents. The requirements are aplenty. High-rises are always surrounded by a thriving community of slum dwellers. The two worlds co-exist peacefully, for they depend on each other. 

The bais I've dealt with have been hardworking, kind, sly, lazy, nosy, neat, punctual, late, greedy and so on. I just had a tussle with my newest hired help, a dusting maid. She is always late, more interested in gossip than her actual work and is constantly asking for favours. We got into a war of words today, as her work has become shoddier and shoddier by the day. She has a justification for everything and has a tailor-made answer, for every question thrown her way.

At the end of that useless battle, I felt like a pig in muddy water. She is not going to change, I realized. She might quit before I fire her, only to be employed in two other houses. The way my bais talk to me, has me wondering whether I've hired them or they have hired me.

The longer they stay with you, the more they take you for granted. The power is always in their hands, because we can't live without them. Well, we can, but with a lot of backache, knee pain and sore-throat as we are not used to cleaning our toilets or sweeping our floors. 

I am grateful to my existing domestic help, who cook and clean for me. I never take them for granted and almost always give in to their demands, even if it is unreasonable. So yes, I am personally responsible for their reckless attitudes and over-confidence. I try my best to maintain a good relationship with them. And, I sort out all their personal issues as much as I can. 

(Image Source : https://www.shutterstock.com/image-vector/indian-housemaid-kamwali-bai-cartoon-character-1434258044) 

Mumbai, No Man's Land or The City of Dreams?

Eights years since I've lived in Bombay. There are days when I'm madly in love with this city and then there are days, when I just want to run away to a remote island and never return. Is this really my home? Or a city I'm merely transiting through? Only time will tell, I suppose. 

Work friendships are just that - bonds you form at work. Not with everyone of course. You do remain friends with 2-3 good souls who genuinely want to form a bond with you, beyond work hours. My first job in the city, was with a dream boss, Mary Oommen. The work environment was a cozy little cocoon, that she had built to help us succeed. She had personally handpicked us, we were Mary's angels (like Charlie's angels of course, only we didn't have to save the world). 

She was our work-mom. She pushed all the right buttons and threw us outside our comfort zones. Mary was the first non-family member, who called to congratulate me on the birth of my son. She gave me subtle parenting tips and told me in plain words to quickly get back to work for the sake of my sanity. She still calls me once a year, to check up on me and keeps throwing job offers my way, to get me out of the house!  

The next organization I joined was where I truly experienced the harsh world of corporate politics, Mumbai's corporate politics, mind you. I cried in the office and I cried at home, everyday without fail. The travel time to work, didn't help either. One hour in the morning and four hours in the evening. Looking back, I wonder if it was even worth it, going through all that travel sickness and dealing with a toxic work environment. My colleagues however, made my time worthwhile. I had multiple shoulders to cry on, at least.

Fast forward to five years, I'm deep in the throes of motherhood, raising an unreasonable toddler whose only answer to every question is "No" and "Don't talk". I'm laughing my way through this phase as well, for I know he will soon grow up and go to school. I pray hard to every God I know, every night, for schools to reopen quickly.

Through each of these experiences, I have seen firsthand, the resilience of people and faced their wrath/cut-throat behaviour. I have also seen their friendly and approachable nature. A city is made up of its people. And this city has a mixed bag of folks. Sometimes they disappoint you, with their cold behaviour and sometimes they overwhelm you with their kindness. 

The past five years, have given me a lot of time to form friendships in my immediate neighbourhood. I've had the chance to interact with toddler moms, moms of twins, moms of teenagers. And the conversations have always been refreshing. I look forward to playdates everyday. A day without a playdate, is a day wasted. 

So coming back to the question in my mind, is this my city, now that I've lived here for close to a decade? Can I call myself a Mumbaikar, even if my heart is still in Chennai? Let me just leave it to time, to unravel these answers. All I can do is sit back and watch. 

The Fear Of Driving

I got my four wheeler driving license on 30th November 2009. I have a two wheeler license as well, but that's another story, for another day. The common thread between both my licenses have been my patient mother. She took me to the driving school, stood in the heat watching me drive with instructors, took me back to the hot non air conditioned government RTO to collect my license. And, she constantly reminded me of how i rammed into her leg, during my two wheeler license test because I was so nervous.

So after my mother acquired lots of grey hair and one nearly amputated foot, I finally got both my licenses. (I'm talking about 2009 when one license wasn't valid for both two and four wheeler vehicles). I remember that hot sunny day, like it happened yesterday. I had to take half a day off from my working day. I was working with Amazon then. I wore a white, flowery chiffon salwar kameez with dupatta that didn't help with the blistering hot weather. By the time the whole affair of getting my license ended, I was a sticky, sweaty, sun-tanned mess. I rushed back to office and to my workstation with my newly minted driving license.

Flash forward to a year or two later, when I had finished my post graduation with Stella Maris College and had picked up a job with Hanmer MSL, my father made me drive everyday to office. I would stop the car at a bus-stand opposite office and daddy would drive the car back home. 

And today, despite the best efforts of my parents, I'm sad to report, I'm still a shaky driver. My BP hits the car's roof each time a biker or an autorickshaw tries to overtake me. My incessantly nattering toddler doesn't help ease my mind's stress. The hubby encourages the tot's behaviour and ignores me fully. His explanation is, "Our lives are your responsibility now. So you can either kill us or take us home alive. No pressure!"

I'm determined now to master this beast. I will not allow my fear to overcome me. I will drive confidently, even if it means that I may have to forgo with the last bit of my thinning postpartum hair. 

The Movie Hall Experience

I've been a lover of the big screen for as long as I can remember. One movie a week was a necessity ever since I started my undergraduation. My friends were subject to it, my parents and now my husband. But ever since we became parents, this exercise seemed like a distant dream. The pandemic didn't help either. 

Today however, we decided to step out for a movie after what seemed like an eternity! We left the toddler behind with my ever-helpful in-laws. Our departure from home depended on the toddler's eating schedule, so we didn't pre-book a movie. We drove to R City Mall, Ghatkopar (the closest mall from our house) as fast as we could, rushed to Inox and booked ourselves two tickets for Marvel's newly released movie "Eternals".

I'm a big Marvel and DC fan, but I had no idea Marvel had released a new movie. The biggest advantage of the pandemic was that, the movie industry had to release everything on streaming platforms (which I lapped up eagerly for the past 2.5 years). To save time (we're toddler parents, so time is everything. Leaving a toddler at home is a ticking time bomb, that's just waiting to explode!) I told my husband to book tickets while I select snacks. He looked at me with amused eyes and said through his mask, "Poopie, you've forgotten how it's like to watch movies in the theatre haven't you? Who is going to allow you inside without the tickets?"

Fast forward to three hours inside the movie hall; my mind was blown away with the storyline and visual effects of Eternals while my husband grunted a few times, staring at his phone impatiently. "When will this end?", he kept muttering under his breath. The minute the movie ended, we rushed to the food court, gobbled down two burgers and proceeded towards the car.

Not a spectacular day, I agree. But a completely out of the world experience for us as we had no screechy toddler to deal with. Just two messy burgers, a Tandoori chai and an imaginative, nicely shot movie. I reminisced about Tony Stark, Captain America and Black Widow for there was plenty of mention of Thanos and the Avengers throughout the film. 

I reminded the husband about the tears I shed when Tony Stark died and how I hated our son to grow up in a world without the Iron Man. He quickly told me to grow up. I said I will not for there is no shame in shedding tears for superheros.

Do watch movies in the big screen. It really is something! Take it from a tired toddler mom and a movie enthusiast. 

The Death Of A Friend

9th July 2021 left us all with a gaping hole in our heart and lives. Akshay Deodhar. My husband's friend and bandmate from Hellwind. When I first met him in 2014, I perceived him to be just another random bachelor friend of my husband's. We met occasionally. His smile and endless chatter bewildered me. It seemed humanly impossible for one person to be so happy and so chatty. 

Things took a turn in 2018, when I was seven months pregnant and home alone. We had shifted to Powai and Akshay lived five minutes away. I developed a complication and dialed Akshay's number without giving it too much thought. Listening to the sound of my voice, he reached home in a jiffy. He rushed me to the emergency ward of the hospital and stayed with me the entire day, until my husband reached Bombay. 

Akshay soon became a household fixture after this incident. We became very close. We had "kitty party" like lunch sessions, where we bitched about people and cracked lame jokes. He was the first friend to hold my newborn baby. He was subject to all my post partum whining. (Poor thing!) 

He was a breath of fresh air and much needed respite in the middle of soiled diapers and endless feeds. Although, he didn't get half of what we were going through as a couple with a newborn baby, he was always around for a patient hearing and some words of wisdom.

Before he left for his M.B.A course in Scotland, he met us, gave us the warmest hug and said "Do you think, I'd leave without saying goodbye?". Who knew that would be the last time, we would ever meet him.

His death has left us in complete and utter shock. We think of him every time, a friend gets married or we have get-togethers. I even dreamt of him last night, where he told me with that giggly look "Come find me Gayu, I'm right here. Come talk to me." 

We miss you Akshay, today and everyday. We know you'll be waiting for us up there and perhaps even watching over us, when shit hits the ceiling. You were my confidante, Riaan's godfather and our extended family in Bombay.