The Fear Of Driving

I got my four wheeler driving license on 30th November 2009. I have a two wheeler license as well, but that's another story, for another day. The common thread between both my licenses have been my patient mother. She took me to the driving school, stood in the heat watching me drive with instructors, took me back to the hot non air conditioned government RTO to collect my license. And, she constantly reminded me of how i rammed into her leg, during my two wheeler license test because I was so nervous.

So after my mother acquired lots of grey hair and one nearly amputated foot, I finally got both my licenses. (I'm talking about 2009 when one license wasn't valid for both two and four wheeler vehicles). I remember that hot sunny day, like it happened yesterday. I had to take half a day off from my working day. I was working with Amazon then. I wore a white, flowery chiffon salwar kameez with dupatta that didn't help with the blistering hot weather. By the time the whole affair of getting my license ended, I was a sticky, sweaty, sun-tanned mess. I rushed back to office and to my workstation with my newly minted driving license.

Flash forward to a year or two later, when I had finished my post graduation with Stella Maris College and had picked up a job with Hanmer MSL, my father made me drive everyday to office. I would stop the car at a bus-stand opposite office and daddy would drive the car back home. 

And today, despite the best efforts of my parents, I'm sad to report, I'm still a shaky driver. My BP hits the car's roof each time a biker or an autorickshaw tries to overtake me. My incessantly nattering toddler doesn't help ease my mind's stress. The hubby encourages the tot's behaviour and ignores me fully. His explanation is, "Our lives are your responsibility now. So you can either kill us or take us home alive. No pressure!"

I'm determined now to master this beast. I will not allow my fear to overcome me. I will drive confidently, even if it means that I may have to forgo with the last bit of my thinning postpartum hair.