Juggling Act: Why Filling My Own Cup Makes Me a Better Mother

I was having a conversation with my mum yesterday morning about why she chose to stop writing. She writes beautifully—much better than me—and her articles have been published now and then in Army magazines. "So why didn't you pursue this hobby, Ma?" I asked. To which she replied with a shrug. She chose not to be a doctor to grow her family, and she chose not to continue her teaching career because it was hard for her to settle down in one city, all thanks to Daddy's Army career.

That generation has sacrificed and sacrificed. She lets my son and me watch TV the minute we are in her house, and she lets me eat the last scoop of chocolate ice cream, even though she is fond of it. I wonder how they did it, because I can't even share a cookie with my son. I get three cookies—two for him and one for me—each time I place a Zomato order. Our food fights turn ugly when he pokes his spoon and face into my share of food. My mother, on the other hand, magnanimously doles out all the food on her plate. He promptly butters her up and says, "This is why I love my Egg more than you, Mum. She always shares her food with me. She's not selfish like you," he says, with food smeared all over his face and chest.

I'm okay with being selfish, because in that selfishness, I find happiness. And a happy mother leads to a happy child. I will never stop pursuing my hobbies, career, and anything else that catches my fancy just because I have a child. I believe that a child who sees his mother or father going out into the world and living out their dreams will hopefully do the same.

Make no mistake when I say this: I have no disrespect for that entire generation of self-sacrificing women, and perhaps there are still some left in my generation. But I will never suffocate myself and stop being who I am simply because I have the responsibilities of being a mother. I am capable of juggling both and will continue to do so. If that means I sleep in a little late over the weekends while my son spends time with his grandparents, so be it. A well-rested mother can deliver a happy weekend to her child. To juggle our passions along with the responsibilities of parenthood is the only way a family can truly be a satisfied and happy unit.