"Death is the ultimate break-up", said Carrie Bradshaw in the latest SATC series. Her husband died too. The love of her life for many, many years. So is she still Mrs Preston? Why had he willed 1 million dollars to his ex wife? Why does he have a picture of a dog inside his wallet? So many questions and zero answers. This was someone you knew intimately, or you thought you did. Suddenly your whole life seems like a lie.
It's easy to say "move on", but the reality of grief is, you never do. You learn to live around the loss of your soulmate. You will never be the same again, but you can't mope around forever. That's not fair to you or the people around you.
People judge you for being happy and people judge you for being sad. So the best thing to do is, do whatever the hell you want. Go on vacations, get a job, go for an intensive cardio workout session, whatever it takes to clear the fuzz inside your brain. Everything and everybody else is white noise, because the worst thing in the world, just happened to you and no one gets that, unless they've personally had a similar loss.
Death is life changing, personality changing and just plain sad. So if you have no words of solace to offer, don't say anything.
If my toddler who is all of three can understand that I am his Baba and Maamaa now, I expect the same from the rest of the world. And I know, I'm not asking for the moon here.
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