Why My 7-Year-Old’s Hard Bargains Mean I’m Doing Something Right

I think the greatest disservice we can do while raising the current generation of kids is to micromanage them. They are, in fact, not mini-mes—however nice that may sound while captioning Instagram photos. They are themselves. 

To have a child who raises their voice back at you and gives you utter hell at home starting from 6:00 AM is a child who is fiercely independent. Congratulations to you; this means you have not suffocated your child with your archaic thought processes.

Let’s accept for a moment that our thought processes are archaic. We didn’t grow up with Peppa Pig, Cocomelon, and Minecraft to keep us company after school. So no, we, in fact, do not understand their brains as much as we want to believe we do. 

Don’t want to play badminton after two months of coaching? That’s fine. Don’t want to learn swimming officially but just want to splash around inside the pool? Perfectly alright. Want to make exactly ten friends with one best friend who hasn’t changed since L.K.G.? Wonderful. Struggling with languages and still think you’re a boss? Um, that’s where I draw the line. But I’m learning to let go of his limited language knowledge.

We cannot cling onto our children as an extension of our identities or lives. We have to let them fly and fall, make their own decisions, make mistakes, correct them, and so on. 

Empty nest syndrome is anyway going to hit all of us hard the moment they leave our houses for academic or career aspirations, so why make it harder on ourselves by clinging onto them? 

In the words of my 75-year-old father, “We always knew you’d fly away with your wings, girl,” he says with arms flapping on both sides. Easy for him to say considering his grandson visits him every weekend and I live less than a kilometer away from him.

But forget us; this next generation is bolder, stronger, sharper, more opinionated, and has stronger personalities. Let’s just watch them fly with pride in our eyes. I’m proud of my seven-year-old, even if my pooja room is currently his very messy toy corner, even if he doesn't sleep in his own room yet, and all the more because he stares me down like we’re in a courtroom and hard-bargains on his weekend outings and toy purchases. 

Now, this kid needs to be a lawyer. But, I’ll let him decide, of course. I’m choosing not to be a helicopter parent today or any day.

What kind of parenting style are you following?