Mom Guilt

Mom guilt, that nagging feeling of not giving enough time to your child. And kids are classic creatures! When you do have all the time in the world, over the weekends, they don't give you a second look.

Bang in the middle of a working week, with murderous call after call, my toddler wants to play with me, sit on my lap, say hello to everyone I'm on various calls with and ultimately just bangs shut my laptop and says, "Stop it maamaa!"

It kills me, the guilt. Then I take a step back and retrospect on the time that I did invest in him. Five years! Two in getting pregnant and three in raising him. That's equivalent to a 100 years for mother's of my generation, who neatly hand over their babies to creches and nannies by six months. 

I'm not mom-shaming anyone. Whether you're a working mum or a stay at home mum, you are doing the best that you can for your child. So hats off to us, for deciding to become mother's and then spending all our time and effort into nurturing these monkeys, into dignified human beings.

The stress of it all gets to me. On the work front, there are multiple projects running with strict deadlines and on the personal front, I have a toddler whose numerous meltdowns in a day, are enough to give anyone a brain tumour.

Kids are sly, manipulative beings, who can put any politician in India to shame, with the mind games they play with adults. I will gladly hand over my son to any political party, who want to hold rallies and make speeches. I guarantee, he will not only get votes for you, he will have crowds gathering in throngs. He can talk endlessly and senselessly. Much like Modi uncle and Rahul uncle. 

Babies; if you don't want to have them, good for you! Enjoy a life of freedom, bliss and tranquil silences that calm you forever and ever. However, if you do want to have them, you have my whole-hearted sympathies. Bless your kindred souls abundantly, today and everyday.

On a serious note, I'm so glad I have a baby. I waited for him for a very long time. I wanted to be a mom, even before I got married. And now that he's here, he fills my bleak life with so much colour, purpose and drive. I wouldn't have it any other way! 

Hard days at work are made bearable only thanks to my son, who I know will be waiting for me with open arms even before I can enter the threshold of my house. 

I love my baby, to bits. I aspire to be a great mum in law (he's only 3.5 years old but there's no harm in planning for these future events) to his future wife. I also pray they have lots of babies, but perhaps I should refrain from passing these comments to the young couple, if I intend to stay in their good books. 

Babies, you can't help but love them, despite all the grief they give you, day in and day out.