Qwickys, Nungumbakkam..

A place i called my 2nd home.. it wasnt merely a "coffee pub" for my school gang.. it was much much more than that.. The memories, the hours spent there.. its all a blur now to be very honest.. It seems like a million years ago since the gang and i hung out..

My gang mates have changed, the faces are different and the places we go to now are different as well..

Today.. after about 4 years plus my present gang and i went to Pizza Hut,Nungumbakkam.. (the same complex as Qwickys)

The first thing i did as soon as i parked my bike was to run to Qwickys.. It was closed down.. Shutters were pulled down.. and an "entry restricted" board was placed outside.. I felt a little lump rise in my throat.. Random thoughts rushed into my head.. The decor, the tiny cozy little nook, the bar stools, the smell of coffee, my school gang,the huge TV set,Arun.. Arun.. Arun..

Arun.. he was a waiter in Qwickys.. and i was a mean insensitive cruel bitchy school kid..

Ive done tons of ridiculous things in school and Arun was.. well.. sweet,sensitive,caring.. Allrite.. maybe im overdoing it a little now..

In a nutshell.. I just followed my whims.. I gave him hot and cold signs.. And just when we were beginning to get to know each other well.. i cut him out.. changed my number, ignored him completely each time i went to Qwickys..

Now.. fast forwarding to the present.. history repeated itself.. in the most nastiest way possible..

Someone who i got close to in the recent past is giving me the same cold treatment i showered Arun with 4 years back..

To all those people who ive hurt in the past.. Im sorry.. I truely am..

I wish i could go back in time and undo all the things ive done.. Someone please invent a time machine for crissake..! :/

Hitch..

I saw the flick for the umpteenth time last night on HBO.. i dont think ill ever really get sick of watching it.. It is a little realistic.. the added bonus of Will Smith.. plus all the catchy one liners and the smooth talking..

Always leaves me with a good feeling.. Gives me hope really.. Hope that maybe.. just maybe.. i wont wind up as a cranky spinster in a room full of cats..

Alex ‘Hitch’ Hitchens, a guy who knows how to make a good first impression and who’s willing to teach men the ropes – for a price.. As New York's 'date doctor', Hitch helps hopeless men hook up with the women of their dreams.. Setting up a geeky dude seeking love from a beautiful stranger is more than a job for Hitch, it’s an adventure..

Love is a word quite non-existant in the vocabulary of most folks nowadays.. and i dont blame them.. its a fast paced world of meeting deadlines and cut throat competition and slogging your ass off or else someone else would steal your job.. too many people and too little jobs.. so most folks just want flings.. non messy, non complicated, no heatburns.. its a mutual understanding of wham bham thankyou m'am..

I think the world needs to be saved.. by Mr. Hitch.. We all need to love some more.. We all have to open up some more.. We have to give people second chances.. forget and forgive.. Get in touch with old friends.. People who at one point of time meant the world to us..

Forget the past.. Move on.. Dont look back.. Make a fresh start..

I quote in the words of Hitch.. "Life aint about the moments that u breathe in.. Its about the number of moments that take your breath away"

Flashes..

Flashes.. teasers from my brain.. things from my past which are rewound and played over and over.. tormenting me..

When things go horribly wrong.. we move on.. somehow.. with all the courage we can muster.. But somewhere down the "healing process" lane.. we get these flashes..

Really small things.. like a Superman Returns hoarding,missed calls on my phone,a funny malayalam movie,the terrace,my guitar..

All of a sudden my determination and focus.. namely.. to move on.. crumbles.. I relive the past once again.. and after im done.. i sob hysterically for exactly 4 minutes or less and then i go numb.. Motions happen around me.. and i just get sucked into it.. i mindlessly play along with the mundane activities of the day..

I was watching this old mohanlal flick today.. "gandharvam".. and at some point.. watching the love story unfold.. i started getting one of those horrible flashes again..

The happily ever after ending somehow happens only in the movies..girl loves boy, boy loves girl.. and they wind up together with a baby..

In real life.. girl flips for boy and boy runs miles away.. girl tries to move on with her life.. trying hard to erase the memories..

The silver lining in my cloud..

Today was a nasty horrible affair.. I wish it never happened..

I have my internal exams going on.. Today was my last paper.. Photography.. And i mugged every goddamn detail in those horrible lookin xerox papers..

I drove wid a smile.. Happy.. Content.. About nothing in particular really.. I wave at a child on a bike.. I soak up the hot burning sun with a feeling of "aah.. im in heaven".. I observe the jammed roads and think to myself.. "sheesh.. chennai roads.."

I finally reach college.. walk upto my exam hall.. its empty.. no sign of any of my friends.. puzzled.. i walk upto my class.. and i noticed they were all writing.. stumped..

i walk upto d invigulator and i say.. "m'am isnt d exam supposed to start @ 12..?" she says.. "they're almost about to finish.. why dont u go to the deparrtment and talk to your prof"

so i stride up confidently to d deptt and i tell her.. "m'am.. i presumed the paper was @ 12.. can i write now..?"

she says.. "i made an announcemnent yesterday that it was @ 10.. and u're walking in right now..?" and she walks away..

I begin to panic.. i spot my class teacher and i tell her my tale of woe.. she smirks.. gets up.. walks out.. i follow her like a puppy with her tail behind her leg.. she talks to my photography prof.. i hear snippets of the conversation..

class teacher walks back towards me.. "u'll have to take the permission of the HOD"..

so for the next 20 minutes i pace up and down the college tryin to get a glimpse of my HOD..

Finally.. i see her.. i walk upto her and i tell her yada yada yada..

She says.. "allright.. go back up.. a new question paper shall be given to u.."

I walk back upto my deptt.. i spot my photography prof.. she says.. "im sorry Gayatri.. but we cant have an exam just for 1 student.."

Dejected.. the dam bursts open.. I sob hysterically.. I know its no big deal.. its just the internals.. these marks are not goin to help me clear this semester.. but the tears kept rolling.. i looked around.. none of my friends were around to console me.. give me a hug.. maybe a bitch a little about the nasty photography prof..

I felt a hand on my shoulder.. i looked up into the eyes of concern..

Gurl in white :what happened..
Me: i sob missed sob my paper.. waaahhhhhhh..
Gurl: which deppt..? wich year..?
Me: electronic media.. 2nd..
Gurl: did u talk to your prof..? maybe they will let u write
Me: i sob just spoke to her.. waaahhhhh.. they said i cant write it now.. sob sniff
Gurl: Oh im so sorry

I walk down.. She follows me..

Gurl: wait wait.. where do u stay..? shall i drop u somewhere..?
Me: u dont even know me.. waahhhhh.. sob..
Gurl:(smiles)so what..? u dont need to know someone to help someone

I spot my HOD.. "im really sorry gayatri.. we cant let u write this paper.. "

Meanwhile my gurl in white walks away..

Me: Sob.. Okie m'am..

I turn around.. she was missing.. she just vanished into thin air..

I walk back to the parking lot.. Starting up my bike with elephant tears still rolling down my cheecks..

I scan the roads.. I wanted to catch a glimpse of my White Gurl.. Her presence somehow soothed me,calmed my jittery nerves, her voice ran in my brain like a balm..

I dont even know her name.. Who was she..?

All through my ride back home i kept thinking.. None of my friends were around in my time of need.. I was all alone.. except for this stranger..

This incident made me realise.. The people we care about a lot in this world may not be around after all.. Maybe i am all alone.. Maybe i have no one to fall back on afterall..

I miss the influence of certain people in my life.. And after i reached home.. i called those people up.. One just cut the call.. And the other didnt bother to pick up even..

When shit happens.. we have to clear the mess on our own.. No one has the time to listen to u whining..

Girl in white.. thank you from the bottom of my heart.. whoever u are.. God bless u..

Practise School..

A unique learning experience offered to Electronic Media grads during their 2nd year of college.. Manning the college radio station.. MOP FM 91.2

Or in other words.. our personal hell.. once u start working there's no looking bak for the next 1 week..

Scrutinizing radio scripts, rjying,recording.. oh yea.. it sounds like major fun.. but the truth is.. its a lot of work.. Getting up @ ungodly hours in the mornin.. turning on the transmittor.. sitting idly for 1 whole hour waiting for the show to get over.. going bak to the studio.. start the day's work which includes packaging, coming up with witty one liners, rectifying the errors of previously recorded shows.. which means u keep rewinding and fastforwarding.. listening to the same thing over and over again till all the mistakes are erased..

And the icing to the cake Mr. Tiru.. the man in charge.. once he starts talking god help us.. We yawn, we look away, we fidget with our mobile phones to give him hints saying.. "dude.. stop talking..! stop talkin NOW or i swear i'll pull your undies over your head"..

But all our efforts are wasted.. Tiru goes on and on like no man's business.. I bet with all the heat and wind energy that's produced by his flapping lips a whole 3rd world nation could be supplied with electricity..

All in all.. an experience that's sure to make healthy fit sane homosapiens go completely beserk and transform them to zombies..

Human Relationships..

Funny 2 words..

One minute u're very close to someone and the next u dont want to talk to each other anymore..

It stings like mad when u know that someone you get along real well with and u let your emotions run wild.. does not reciprocate your feelings..

But what can we do..? Nothing.. Just let it go.. We dont have the power to mess with free will..

Each experience is a learning experience goes the age old saying.. But too much experience is not a very good thing now is it..?

How long can we take the pain..? How much longer can we twist our brain into believing that we're bound to be happy someday.. We just might bump into someone amazing..

Lets face it.. Some of us are cupid's favourites and some of us are not..

I can see it now.. "Gayatri Bhadran, Spinster, 1987-2050"

Ive gone back into that black hole again.. Im falling.. down down down..

My Givson..

I started playing chords.. FINALLY..! :D

I feel very mature and grown up now.. All my guitar lessons to date seem to fade out in comparison to the class I had last week..

The feeling of holding the polished instrument.. Holding 2-3 strings at the same time.. Playin chords and bar chords.. Strummin away with my strummer on the other hand.. Oh the pain.. Oh the joy..!

I’m making music..!!

One chord fades out to another and another and another..

I feel invincible.. My guitar and I make a great team.. :p

Writer’s block

I have been wanting to blog about Memoirs Of A Geisha.. a movin tale of the life of a Geisha woman.. It really hit some nerves.. and I did shed a few tears..

I have also been wanting to blog about my trip to bangalore where I saw the complete transformation of my chammatu pavam older sister into a frenzied shopping bitch..

But the words have run dry.. Nothing seems to inspire me enough anymore to sit down and blog..

I have changed..

I had left chennai for 1 month.. I had gone to my native town.. Trivandrum.. and when I returned I noticed a lot of changes..

Some of my closest friends for instance fell in love.. and suddenly I felt like an older unmarried 30 year old being critically scrutinized by smug married couples..

“so tell me gayatri.. why is that fine physical specimens like you have still not found a guy..”
and

“I’m sorry.. u cant expect me to dump my girlfriend for u to catch gigs in the city anymore, u will have to bring along another friend” and

“I think u should start expanding your social circle a wee bit more old girl.. your guy is just around the corner.. but u will have to take the initiative to bump into him”

Is this the mating season..? If so, I need to be on a different planet.. I choose to remain single,happy and carefree..

Now let me boil down to the essense of this blog.. I think I did have a soft corner for someone.. it could’nt have been love.. too soon to think in those lines.. but I did get very close to him in a very short span of time.. he was like a drug.. I could’nt seem to get enough of him.. as the day ended I waited for the next day and the next and the next just to be around him..

He was a complete stranger to me for about 3 whole months.. I didn’t think much of him.. the typical “die u bugs” im a kick ass guitarist from a kick ass band attitude seemed to be oozing from him.. and plus.. he was a mallu.. all the more reason for me to ignore the twirp..

A week before I left for my native place.. I sent him a funny offline sumthing in the lines of “so catch u on the streets of tvm matey.. ill be there for 1 whole month”

He replied to this with his number.. I was a little surprised considering the fact we barely knew each other..

I called him a week after I had settled in.. our phone conversations didn’t go too well either.. We just did not seem to click one bit..

But a week before I was to return to chennai.. he declared he would come home.. “are u sure” I asked.. “do u really want to take the pains of coming all the way to meet a complete stranger..? plus u would be interrogated by my crazy family.. so think about it”..

His response was “im good with families.. im sure ill be pretty comfortable and yes.. I do want to see u”

So 3 hours later.. I see a wiry scrawny guy with a smile brighter than surya bulb’s standing outside my gate..

And so we sit around jabbering and playin the guitar.. Time seemed to fly by and I didn’t notice..

When it was time for him to leave.. I thought.. “hmm.. nice guy.. I made a huge error of character judgement..”

Out loud I said.. “thanks for coming mate.. this was fun”

He responded.. “im free tommorow as well..” He left the sentence dangling in mid-air..

I gushed “Oh yaay..” Exactly what he expected to hear..

And so we meet like that a couple more times.. each time I got a little bit more anxious to see him,to talk to him,to get to know him better..

The last day we meet was pretty painful.. I’m lousy with goodbyes.. so when he said.. “ill miss u babe”.. I said.. “yes yes.. me too,u too,oh sheesh.. just leave already”.. :/

And that was that.. the maxim “geography gets in the way of history and ruins chemistry” followed suit..

Sure we did chat online, talk on the fone.. But I know.. its over.. Whatever it was..

He’ll move on with his life, forgetting every detail I mentioned above..

I’ll mope over it for a couple more days.. Remembering all the details.. The lines on his face, the tone of his voice, that smile, the mallu slang, the smell of his deo..

Time heals they say.. well Mr. Time.. I’m waiting.. heal me..

Sinagara Chennai’s not so singara roads and traffic..

June 2005 marked d turning point in my life.. d beginning of an era perhaps.. I wuz getting into college.. wich implied license to drive.. FINALLY..!

I waited fer tis day my whole life.. I pictured myself drivin on one of em race bikes.. id zip by wid d world watchin in awe.. jus like in d movies..

But my folks had odder plans.. they did not approve of their youngest child drivin arnd in a bike.. a maruti 800 wud b jus fine they said.. but I didn’t give in.. I wanted a bike.. and dat wuz dat..

So d following month I got a brand new purple TVS Scooty Pep.. well.. not exactly wot I had in mind.. but @ least it sumwot resembled d bike in my head’s lil cousin.. :/

And as all beginners I had a few minor knocks now and den.. My wake up call came wen I had a major accident.. a bus knockin me down frm behind.. d bike and I flew in d air (matrix eesshhtyle) and I scrapped on d road fer a while.. broken bones, a bloody face and sum skin bein ripped apart..

Folks were hell bent on getting me d car now.. but I got bak on my bike in 7 days.. and I got a piercing done as well to prove to d world.. “I aint a sissy.. if life throws me limes I make lime juice”

Now I think im a seasoned rider.. its been a year now since Ive been drivin on d roads of chennai.. and I wud like to categorise d traffic as follows:

D honkers – As the name suggests these folks honk their horns fer no rhyme or reason.. im thinking mebbe they want attention.. like a spoilt brat who craves fer attention frm his/her parents all d time..

D starers - These folks jus look u up and down.. they hv a bewildered look in their eyes.. they look @ u wid a look dat says.. “hmm.. thr are odder human beings I co-exist wid on dis blue blob planet”

D strays – These folks are very much like stray dogs.. no clue bout wots goin on arnd them.. they act on impulse.. they may jump in fronta yer vehicle @ any time.. and if u hit them by accident.. gawd bless u’re soul.. my sympathies are wid u..

D buses and the auto rickshaws - I don’t hv a nick name fer buses and autos cuz they are a league apart.. they think they own d roads and hence stop whereva and weneva they want to.. they mite go slow or go fast.. (they prolly hv mood swings often) and of corse a special mention fer d auto drivers.. money suckin hounds.. so tackle wid caution..

D gap seekers – I belong to dis category.. :D we folks spot d gaps in a traffic jam.. sqeeuze in and drive away unhurt (touch wood) therefore we save a lotta time and fuel..

D road huggers – these folks drive rather crawl like snails right in d middle of d road.. u mite b late fer college, late to meet a frnd, late fer a movie perhaps.. but u cant do a darn thing abt it.. u either crawl behind em or honk fer approximately 10 mins after wich road hugger mite move a lil to give u way..

U Can Loose What u Neva Had..

My acquaintance wid him wuz brief.. 5 days to b exact..

In dat very short span o time.. we explored many emotions.. I gave it my all..

I let him see the little girl inside..

Time flew by so quick wen we rambled on and on about nothing in particular..

Finally.. we decided to throw away our virtual masks and meet in flesh..

I wuz excited.. I probably didn’t get tis excited even wen I got material possessions..

“D” day went well.. or so I think..

D msgs and calls abruptly stop.. I battle out in my head wot cud’ve gone wrong..

I blamed myself fer tis sudden change of events..

At times thr wuz a strange feeling of numbness and @ times thr wuz a deep sorrow dat cut thru my soul..

5 days..! Dats all it took..

Those stolen moments we shared stayed etched on to my memories..

I realized dat I wuz’nt strong enuf.. life gave me a little toss and I wuz flat on my face..

I hv to stand bak up on my feet again and let bygones be bygones..

D clichéd line.. “everythin happens fer a reason” is my mantra to stay focused and calm..

WARNER BROTHERS presents in association with VILLAGE ROADSHOW PICTURES.. Halle Berry in CATWOMAN..

Im an animal luver who hates cats.. cant stand d disgustin-cant-identify-his-master-feline things..

But now wen I look @ cats I hv respect in my eyes.. all thx to CATWOMAN..

Yes I am a sucker fer superheroes.. luv spidey,daredevil,batman,superman.. read a few marvel comics.. and I think d movies are a poor representation of d hero…

Catwoman is a superhero I had no knowledge of until today..

D sole reason I took d DVD is becuz me bored,jobless and d added bonus of Halle Berry.. luv dat woman.. shez got class.. a timeless beauty.. and shez a brilliant actor..

And no one cud’ve done justice to d role of Catwoman except tis black babe..

Freedom,independence,wild,untamed.. catwoman epitomises these 4 pillars..

D history of catwomen go bak to d egyption era.. a special egyption feline tests women and wen she dies.. shez reborn as catwoman..

Often misunderstood by common man.. half cat.. half woman.. shez got catlike grace, a knack fer landing on her feet, a passion for sushi,a loathin fer dogs.. and more dan nethin else.. shez a woman..!! yaay.. :D

Tis movie showed grl power all d way.. she proves to d world dat she doznt need a man in her life to complete her.. in d last scene of d flick.. her boyfrnd reads a letter frm her dat said “u’re a good man Tom.. but I will neva fit into yer world.. my journery begins.. now”

Watchin d flick.. I wished I had half d attitude, half d confidence and half her ability to kick men on d nuts..

Henceforth.. a meow frm a cat cud b a call.. a call to say im d chosen one.. sigh.. I wish.. :/

Miss Goody 2 Shoes OUT… Mean-Ass-I-Don’t-Give-A-Fuck-Bitch IN..

D problem wid me is d following…

1.mez a doormat.. I let ppl trample all over me.. and d irony is I don’t even realize it.. until d trampling process is over..

2.I trust ppl blindly.. fer a looong time I thot d whole world is filled wid nice guys and grls who are all out to make my life less monotonous and borin...

3.I get too emotionally attatched to ppl.. I let them control me..

4.I get vulnerable very easily.. I start sayin things wich shud prolly go wid me to d grave.. but oh no.. my big mouth jus cant shut d fuck up.. I blurt out every gawd dayum detail of my personal life..

5.Im insecure.. I always hv a feelin im not good enuf… not good enuf fer ppl to b arnd me.. not good enuf fer ppl to get to kno me..

6.I hv a phobia fer d dark.. I hv a feelin im watched by d world beyond.. Ive had a coupla nitemares involving lil grl ghosts, gothika type grl ghosts etc.. and therefore I hv sum jobless frnds who call me up @ nite and say ridiculous things..

7.im a few pounds extra.. while d rest of d world is filled wid anorexically malnutritioned sticks wrapped arnd wid clothes.. Im a chubby fill my clothes nice and proper.. luv my grub person.. and hence my weight is anotha issue.. butt of most fat ppl jokes et al..


So my action plan fer d above 7 wud b d following:

1.start trampling d tramplers.. they wont kno wot hit them.. flash em wid one of my pearly angelish grins and wallah pull d mat frm under their feet.. therefore d messers become d messes..

2.I will stop trustin ppl.. I will look @ every1 wid X ray vision.. ill critically analyze their body language..

3.I will stop getting emotionally attached to ppl.. ppl are merely players in dis game of life.. make d rite moves and get away unhurt and triumphant..

4.I will stop blurtin out d dark secrets of my borin life..

5.im a bubbly full of life.. cant keep my mouth shut.. ever smiling goof ball.. I try to spread joy in my own weird ways.. so take it or leave it..

6.thr r no such things as ghosts.. so mez gonna stop watchin horror flicks and reading horror novels..

7.im chubby.. so wot..?!! ppl are jus jealous of my puppy fat… im happy in my body.. and I look good.. hrmph..

In d words of my angel…

As i sat on my bed on a hot afternoon and rocked frm side to side wid silent tears flowin down d side of my face..

Random thots of misery poppin into my brain every now and den..

Ponderin abt all d times life had’nt danced to my tunes..

I remembered d words of my angel..

Don’t force things to happen.. wot is yours will come to u child..

Human relationships are a game.. make all d rite moves and u win.. make wrong moves and u get yer ass whooped nice and proper..

Always remember.. believe in yerself.. difficulties in life are merely tests of courage.. let difficulties kno dat u are difficult..

Don’t give up widout a fite..

And fer all d ppl who hznt appreciated u screw em all..

Always think abt those who care abt u.. who respect u.. who are dependent on u..

Hang in thr.. d wave of life hz to go up again sumday..

IIPM’s AMAZE – 2006 in association wid blah blah blah presents… BOMBAY VIKINGS AND STRINGS

To be honest.. I aint a huge Bombay Vikings fan.. hvnt even heard their music..
And as fer strings.. ive heard a coupla tracks namely.. duur,dhaani and d spidey ost..

So why did I go..? well d reason is simple.. as a wise man quoted to me last week.. “listen to all sorta music.. dat makes u a true musician”

And so @ 6.30pm my good frnd Arun and I set out to d YMCA grounds..

7.00 pm We finally reach d place.. d 1st thing we saw d min we got off d bike wuz a woman in a very very gaudy looking silk saree.. I groaned mentally.. “oh boy.. tis wuz gonna b a loooong nite”

7.45 pm D show hznt started yet.. 107.1 fm’s RJ Niladri makes an announcement in his deep sexy voice.. “ladies and gentleman d show will commence in anotha 5 mins”

therz a collective booing frm d impatient audience.. I wuz standing @ d 250 bucks slot.. flood lites were placed too close.. and d heat wuz unbearable..

8.00pm sum guy on a cycle circles on stage and says sumthin in broken English.. as my frnd quoted.. “tis is d worst Mc ing I’ve eva heard”

8.10 pm sum fat guy wid streaks in his hair gets on stage and d crowd goes ballistic.. he starts to sing.. d earth beneath my feet wuz vibrating wid ppl jumping arnd.. my frnd and I were d only 2 ppl who stood like stones.. not amused one bit.. wen d guy ended 1 song.. sum1 in d bak screamed out my sentiment.. “abey..paisa wapas de”

8.20 pm.. fat guy still singing.. frnd & I slowly begin to realize our predicament.. and join in by clappin our hands reluctantly.. cuz if ya cant beat em join em and wen in rome b roman.. **sniff** :/

9.00 pm.. yaay..!!! fat guy goes off stage..

9.01pm.. we gobble fried wonton and gobi manchurian and drink sum mirida and 7up..

9.15pm.. faisal,bilal and their band assemble on stage.. “can we hv d lights on d audience plzz.. I wud like to see em betta..” said faisal..
faisal wuz very confident.. and he quickly captured d hearts of d crowd..

@ one point he introduced.. his band members..
so and so on d drums..
so and so on d bass guitar
so and so on d lead guitar..
each had a solo wich lasted fer abt a min…

bilal.. d lead guitarist.. played saarein jahan se accha.. and d crowd screamed in approval..

after dat faisal said “weneva we go fer a show.. tis is wot we do to find out how many grls and how many guys are present..”

“so now all u grls.. sing aley aley aley” .. so d women sing..
same drill fer d men..

“hmm.. therz a good number of guys & grls here.. good..”

9.50 pm.. we cudnt stand it nemore.. we had to go closer.. heck d only reason we’re here wuz fer these guys.. d physical barriers namely a flimsy excuse fer a fence didn’t stop us.. we jumped and ran to d 500 buck slot.. unfortunately during d process I got stuck and so my frnd pulled as hard as he cud.. wid d rest of me still dangling on d odder side.. (not a pretty site)
neways.. made it eventually.. :/ wid a potential shoulder dislocation.. but on d brite side we were finally more close to d stage..

10.10 pm.. faisal says.. “now lets see how many of u are good fielders here..” and he takes a plastic cover wid 10-15 tennis balls.. bilal takes up a bat.. and they begin to play.. d tennis balls are caught by d audience..

10.15pm.. d lamers @ d 1000 buck slot start to walk out..!! I wuz stunned..!! I wanted to scream out.. “wot d hell is wrong wid u ppl..?!! these guys are amazing..” I wished I had d ability to multiply.. I wished thr wuz a 100 mes on d ground..

10.45 pm.. “tis is d last song fer d evening.. so all of u go crzy.. all u guys who’re sitting plzz stand up fer tis one..” and he sings d zinda OST, ye dosti.. and sum odder song wich I aint familiar wid.. but thr wuz a line wich went.. “tu mera mein tera.. ye jaanta hai saara Hindustan” @ tis point he said.. I’ll sing ‘saara Hindustan’ and u guys sing ‘saara Pakistan”

d crowd once again cheered in approval.. we were totally enamored by tis guy.. if @ dat point he had said jump off a cliff we wud’ve agreed.. we were all in sum kind of trance..

10.50 pm.. they wind up.. and wid all d energy reserves left in me I screamed.. I screamed like thr wuz no tmrw.. I screamed till I wuz completely breathless..

Can a stranger affect yer life..?

Yes.. widout a doubt..

I strongly agree wid d sayin “it takes a few hrs to get to kno sum1.. anotha coupla hrs to start likin dat sum1.. coupla few hrs more to start thinking in d lines of why d heck didn’t I meet tis amazing human bein before..?”

Now therz nuffin wrong in bein a lil dreamy.. NOTE: a Little..!!

We always want wot we cant hv and I say gawd is a mean saddistic creature who sits up thr wid a poking device in hand..

Why show us things we cant hv..? why tempt us and den mock us wid “nanananana.. u cant hv dat..”

Wen I wuz a kid mom told me.. “don’t talk to strangers”

But d rebel in me didn’t allow me to do so.. I luv meetin ppl.. and I continue to do so..

Well now fastforwardin to d present..

I wuz @ college.. blushin and all giggly like a dumb skool kid.. narratin my tale of bumpin into a silent brooding stranger who I thot wuz prolly d one good thing dat happened to me in a loooong long time and so on and so forth..

My frnd bein d more mature,sensible one.. told me.. “chillax.. don’t trust strangers so blindly”
My immediate response wuz.. “bah..! u sound jus like my ma..”

And d rest is history.. of corse d whole thing fizzled out nice and proper.. and mez bak to square one.. who knows if silent broodin eva wants to talk to me again..

Well on d bright side.. I guess d memory wud always remain and it mite come flashin bak to me every now and den to give me a mental kick in d rear..

Lesson learnt.. “don’t get too excited and don’t go overboard wen u meet sum1 new..”

Beautiful Stranger

Memories of our brief meeting linger in my mind..
The thot of it makes my skin tingle wid pleasure..
A smile comes on my face and I blush a lil..
I had gone looking fer a pair of jeans..
I had no idea I’d end up starin @ d guy of my dreams..

His eyes didn’t leave mine frm d minute he entered d shop..
He smiled,he grinned and he looked wid a look on his eyes dat made my knees buckle and my heart pound hard…

I suddenly felt shy.. a feelin I had’nt undergone in a looong looong time..
He had an effect on me.. an undescribable sweet feeling I cant explain..
When it wuz time to leave,I looked up @ him and he looked up @ me..

He smiled once again.. dat sexy smile.. wich made my kness buckle and my heart melt..
And once again my knees shook and my heart melted..
He started up his bike.. a roar of noise hit my ears..

And @ d same time I felt my heart break..
I realized dis wuz it..
He wuz so close yet so far..
Good bye handsome stranger.. take care..
I hope we meet again sumday..

(random shit once again..)

tis incident really did happen btw.. I wuz 14.. went to besant nagar.. fashion folks.. and I saw tis greek gawd.. :p he had a ruggish yet very innocent round face..

he lingered on in my mind d whole of d next day and so I decided to pen it down..

I still drive past fashion folks almost every odder day cuz Bessie is my hangout.. and @ times I still do scan d parkin lot of fashion folks to see whether therz a yamaha rx 135.. (brown tank..) parked thr

A 1000 knives

A 1000 knives bleed my heart…
I feel my heart exploding wid luv..
He came like d wind..
He cast a spell on me..
All he did wuz talk..
I heard his voice fer d first time and I knew dat id found him—my guy..
As the days flew by..
I found myself falling harder and harder for him..
And now it looks like ive reached rock bottom..

I pictured him as d wild guy..
D guy wid d guitar and long hair..
D guy who talked,breathed and created music,
He wuz my dream come true..

A 1000 knives bleed my heart..
My dreams are shattered,
“my guy” aint mine afterall

When I look @ him I see sumthin rare
Wot makes him different..?
Wots thr inside him..? --- a shinin star to me..

His eyes.. im sure brighten people’s days..
They shine like stars on a dark gloomy nite..
His lips - - d most lovliest pink ive eva seen..
His hands - - firm yet gentle..
His laugh - - a cool tantalizing breeze on a dry desert..
His hair - - a water fall flowin eva so gently

A 1000 knives bleed my heart..
As I realize I can only admire d beautiful sunset..
I cannot toch him.. I cannot feel him..
There wud neva b a day wen I can declare to d world my luv fer him..

The luv inside me wud remain buried..
It’ll b secret..
He’ll neva kno.. cuz he doznt wanna hear it..

(random shit wich I penned down a coupla yrs bak)

The IIT Rock Show

January 29th 2006 wuz an ordinary day in d lives of most of mankind.. But dat day marked d turning point of my life.. It wuz d first day of my teenage life my parents allowed me stay out beyond my ridiculous curfew time of 9 pm..

Not only dat.. it wuz d day my parents realized dat im a mature,responsible adult who can make decisions of her own.. They realized dat my needs were simple.. I wuz deprived of so many things cuz of my curfew time.. But tis yr.. I put my foot down.. “I hv to go for d show..” my decision wuz final.. and my folks didn’t hv a choice but to give in..

I wuz so excited.. My brain pictured d bands on stage.. D crowd.. I kept msgin my frnd who wuz to take me fer d show.. His response wuz… “chill babe.. don’t get so hyper.. I don’t think it’ll b all dat gr8.. d bands playin are Led Zepplica.. obviously sum wannabe band and Parikrama.. sum Indian metal band.. I think they’re gonna suck..”

But I thot to myself.. heck.. who cares.. Ill b out beyond 9 pm and tis wuz gonna be my first eva rock show..

6.30 pm.. My frnd picked me up and we drove upto IIT..

6.50 pm.. A bus picks us up frm d IIT entrance and drops us to d Open Air Theatre..

7.00 pm.. Security checks and finally we walk in.. My eyes fell upon d dimly light stage… I saw 2 drum kits on stage.. My excitement levels doubled on seeing d beautiful instruments.. I scanned d crowds.. It wuz almost packed..

7.15 pm.. We settle ourselves down on to cemented steps.. And a band member runs across stage now and den jus to make d crowd scream..

7.30 pm.. A tall guy wid glasses comes on stage and bellows d name of d band who wuz to play..

7.35 pm.. D band Parikrama assemble on stage.. D vocalist.. a guy wid a nice clean shaven round bald shiny head announces.. “whoa.. A see of faces.. An ocean of hands.. I dunno wot to say.. Im so speechless.. Wot do I refer to u guys as.. IIT chennai or IIT Madras..?” The crowd screams “IIT Madras” He says.. “arrite.. now if d following names vibe wid u lift yer hands.. Deep purple,Coldplay,Gnr,Ac/dc..”

Each band’s name he called out.. d crowd went more and more ballistic..

And finally they began to play.. Me and my frnd were taken bak.. We were stunned.. We underestimated these guys.. D vocalist’s screams blew our mind away.. We were lost to his voice and d amazing music d band wuz playin.. They played sum cover songs.. And they played sum originals..

They had a violin solo.. And once again I wuz watchin wid amazement.. I wuz ignorant of d fact dat an instrument which generally produced whiny noises cud sound so good..

D lead guitarist.. A chubby cute looking teddy bear wid chinky eyes.. Had amazing chubby gifted fingers.. They were literally flying ova d guitar.. And to keep up d pace of his wriggly fingers his tummy bounced along as well..

Wen Nitin Malik and his band stopped playin.. we were geared up fer sum more amazing music..

D next band on stage wuz Led Zepplica.. D stage lights dimmed once again.. And wen it came on.. D band wuz assembled on stage.. D vocalist had his bak to d audience.. He had curly blonde hair wich wuz prolly combed neater dan my messy brown black sweaty hair wich wuz stuck on my scalp..

They started off really well.. And d crowd wuz screamin their guts out.. But @ sum point.. They suddenly started playin slow numbers.. Tis put us off.. D crowd started thinning as well..

D highlight of Led Zepplica wuz their drummer.. D guy had a drummin solo wich lasted fer about 10 mins.. He went ballistic.. He wuz like a drummin machine.. Once again fer I stood thr stunned.. watchin in amazement… wid envy.. After he wuz done thr wuz a burst of crackers in d skies and d stage lit up behind him..

12.00 pm.. D vocalist announced dat their next song wuz “stairway to heaven”.. we screamed in approval… They were prolly 3 mins into d song wen d electricity went kaput.. Exactly 15 seconds latrz d power wuz bak on.. They continued where they left off.. But once again d power went off.. So finally they gave up and went off stage and we clapped..

12.15 pm.. My frnd and I walked in silence.. Our feet hurt becuz we were jumpin all thru d show.. Our necks were stiff cuz of d intense head banging and our throats were parched cuz we were screamin our guts out.. It wuz cold.. We got into a bus wich took us upto d entrance of IIT..

12.20pm.. We get on his bike.. he drives me hme..

12.25pm.. I slowly creep in d house.. Open d door wid d duplicate key I hv.. I turn to d left and thr sit my folks wide awake and beamin.. “how wuz d show..?” they ask.. I reply.. “amazing..tell u all bout it tmrw”

D next morning I wake up and I swear I cud still hear Nitin Malik’s amazing shrill screams .. His voice stayed etched to my brain .. I fell completely in luv wid it..

CRASH - - Frm d screen writer/producer of MILLION DOLLAR BABY

A 20 sumthin black kid who makes a life outta hijackin and stealin cars… In d last scene he opens d bak door of a truck he steals and lets out illegal immigrants.. His boss tells him “u keep d car and ill sell these chinks… ill give u 500 a piece”.. but d boy follows his heart.. follows one of d few principles he imbibed and frees d immigrants..

An aging mother tells her older son who is a respectable cop in d LAPD to find her younger son.. d woman is unaware of d fact dat d younger kid is a loser.. she favours d loser son to d more mature,respectable son who actually cares bout her..

Eventually d older son doz find his kid bro.. dead.. and d mother blames him for his death and she tells him “ykno my baby came hme one day wen I wuz sleepin.. he got me groceries”.. Again d woman wuz mistaken.. D older kid stacked her fridge wid d groceries..

Matt Dillon.. a cop.. hez a racist.. he stops a black couple on their way hme.. asks d husband to show his license and registration… He den asks him to do things like touchin his nose wid his index finger etc.. Seein tis d wife gets pissed off and jumps out d car.. Matt Dillon is amused.. He den turns his attention to d pretty wife.. he feels her up.. puts his hands up her thighs to check if she wuz “clean”.. to check if she had ammunition.. and den he lets her go..

D very next day he finds d same woman stuck in a car.. D car wud blow up any minute.. its turned upside down and therz a leak.. He gets in and pulls her out.. D woman screams on seein him.. tells him to get his fuckin hands off her.. isn’t thr any1 else who can help me..? she wailed.. he calms her down and manages to pull her out seconds b4 d car blows up in smokes..

My personal favourite.. a plumber.. He comes hme one nite to find his daughter hiding under her bed.. He asks her why she wuz down thr..

She says “daddy I heard a bang of a gun”..
He says.. “oh shoot ykno wot honey.. I forgot to give u sumthin on yer 5th bday..”
she says.. “wot daddy..?”
he says.. “nevamind u wont believe me.. a fairy came to my room one nite..”
she said “yea rite..”
he says.. “see I told ya.. u wudnt believe me”
she says.. “no no temme”
he says “ oh okie if u insist.. so neways d fairy came and gave me an invisible chain to wear arnd my neck.. she said dat it wud protect me frm bullets and all things evil in dis world.. so do u wanna feel it now..?”

(thrusts out his hand to her)

she: but I don’t feel nethin..
he: dats rite.. u wont.. it’s a magic chain.. do u want it..??

(she nods)

he: well den come on up lemme tie it fer u..
(he pretends to untie a chain frm arnd his neck and ties it to her neck)
he:well thr ya go.. now u’re safe..

Exactly 24 hrs latrz.. an arab guy points a gun @ d plumber.. d grl on seein her father bein attacked.. leaps on him.. d man’s aim hits d lil grl..

D grl whispers into her father’s ears.. “u’re okie daddy.. ill protect u”..

D anguish on d plumber’s face on holdin d wounded body of his 5 yr old grips yer soul..

But wen he feels her bak,he finds no wound..


A spoilt rich bratty wife played by Sandra Bullock.. Shez d DA’s wife.. Shez pissed off wid life in general.. she whines bout it to her rich frnd.. A few mins latrz.. she twists her ankle.. All her rich frnds are way too busy.. D only person who stands by her is her maid..

All d above wud only b merely grazin d story line of dis amazing flick..

Generally wen ppl ask me “dude wot kinda movies do u watch..?” my response wud b “oh no serious ones plzz.. less brain work and loads o comedy is just abt rite”

But tis movie wuz nethin but less brain work and comedy.. It wuz life.. D hard realities of life.. Racism, stewpidity,youngsters going wild, sanile old men and women..

Watch it.. It triggers all d rite emotions.. It wud hit all dose nerves wich u left untouched and forgotten in d locked corners of yer soul...

My trip to A.I.R

About a week ago I received a letter from our very own All India Radio.. I wuz offered to broadcast a programme on d topic “humour in youth”... I tossed d paper aside after glancing thru d gloomy contents.. But my mom wuz one enthu patani about d whole thing.. “mole go fer it.. don’t miss tis opportunity” and so on.. she went ballistic.. so to satisy yet anotha one of my mother’s whims.. I sat down and typed bout my own life.. which is a neva ending comedy neways.. so d “youth” wud find my so called “script” humourous..

After 25 mins of head scratching and frantic typing.. I came up wid sumthin.. My experience as a fresher.. I passed it on to coupla frnds.. I got d following comments..

1.u call tis humour in youth..? tis is more like dark demented sarcasm in youth
2.u’re really good @ tis.. u shud write stuff like dis more often

But my mother of corse wuz ecstatic dat her child typed a coupla sentences in d language passed on by d british widout any grammatical errors..

So I called a Ms. Meenaxi.. ( a very sleepy soundin woman)

Me : M’am I received a letter frm AIR bout broadcastin a programme on “humour in youth”
Meens: Aaa ** yawn**
Me: M’am so wen do I come ova..? don’t u want to read my script,make corrections etc..
Meens: of corse… plzz drop by on Tuesday after 11 am..

And so on a hot Tuesday morning wid d birds chirping wid parched throats and d sun beatin down my bak.. ma and I drove upto d AIR station..

Our nations radio station looked like it wud collapse any minute.. D building and d employees looked like relics/ ancient antique pieces..

I waited in Meenaxi’s office fer about an hr..

Finally a rolly polly exhausted looking woman trodded in..

I got up frm d plastic chair I wuz sittin on and wished her.. She grabbed my “script” frm me and glanced thru d contents fer about 2 seconds or less..

After dat she asked me to come again d next day fer my recording..

So d next day mom and I made d treachourous zillion kms trip all d way upto d AIR station..

Once again I walked upto Meenaxi mam’s office and I found d woman in a trance.. Half sleepin.. half staring into space..

She saw me and her response wuz a yawn..

Her : u’re gayatri no..?
Me: yes ma’m
Her: ahh **yawn** can I plzz read d script..
( takes out a pen wid her chubby fingers and makes an attempt to read my script again.. she marked out d 1st word in d 1st paragraph..)
Her: okie.. pleez wait downstairs.. kiiindly wait downstairs
Me: hmm..

So mez waitin in d lobby.. after bout 15 mins chubbs walks out and I follow her to an airconditioned room..

2 nervous looking woman are being interviewed by a domineerin interviewer.. D room gets filled in no time wid men wid tiny twig like ponies frm d middle portion of ther heads.. carnatic singers I presumed..

Chubs suddenly comes runnin out and makes motions wid her hands..

So I walk upto her and we walk together to d recordin booth..

She mumbles “we’ll try to make it more funny ma”

I start reading my script.. and after I wuz done.. she montioned wid dose chubby hands once again..

She wuz beaming wen I walked in “dat wuz really good ma”.. and she gives me a half smile..

Whoah d woman hz emotions odder dan sleepin and looking bored I thot to myself on seein her tiny teeth..

And dats how my day ended.. Soon I will receive a cheque fer 200 bucks.. and I signed a contract wid d station.. So mez officially a part time employee of our nations sleepy shoddy radio station..