Gymming..

Gymming. When the word first came into my life, i just groaned and thought to myself oh hell NO. There is NO WAY i'm going to waste my life in a stupid room full of huge machines.

I took up a personal training thing for the first one month, burnt a nice BIG hole in my wallet, played along and put on 2 kgs at the end of it.

I was adamant to let the puppy fat stay. Who was i without the puppy fat? The chubby cheecks and the flab in general is who i am.

Then i noticed my fellow gymmers, i really LOOKED, and i saw this : Fit, in shape, good looking men and women busting their ass on the threadmill, EFX, and lifting weights bigger than them. Satya ka gyaan hit me like a metal thing falling on my head from the skies. (like the Roadrunner show)

I HAD to loose weight.. Cute and chubby is OUT, fit and active and dangerous curves are IN. And so it began, a painful journey of eating way lesser than what i normally eat. 1 hour of cardio and 8 sets of weight training later, I’m proud to say this, i have lost, 6 kgs.

And the best part is, i LOVE gymming now. My day is not complete if i dont sweat like a pig, pant like a dog and make strange foo foo noises.

I strongly recommend a 2 hour workout to junta who is the OLD me. It gives you a natural high. For the rest of the day, you'll be all giggly and drunk on fresh air. And your energy levels would be so high, it would surprise you.

Tooral Mazha..

Tooral Mazhais are the most annoying things that can happen to us "if i sit at home for longer than a minute my head will explode" people..

Rains are associated with joy, beauty, giver of life, 2 lovers sitting on a tree and k-i-s-s-i-n-g.. and so on.. I wish i could whack the penner of those phrases and ask him/her, are you out of your mind..? Do u LIKE being house arrested..?

Back to Tooral Mazhais, they're not even REAL rains.. Tooral rains are like dogs peeing on random telephone poles and car tyres and running away to find a new spot to pee on.. The frequency of the drip-drip is unpredictable..

And its this unpredictability factor, which makes Tooral Mazhais even more annoying.. I woke up this morning late as usual, gobbled some breakfast and rushed out to my bike. Dad insisted, "Wear your raincoat.. looks like it's going to pour.." The embarrassing bright yellow Winnie the Pooh raincoat flashed in my brain, i preferred freezing to death over looking like a spectacle. So i said aloud, "Naah.. its not raining now.. i'll take my chances and not wear my raincoat pop.."

With that, i kickstarted my bike and vroomed onto the roads.. No sooner had i crossed the first traffic signal, it started to pour. So, out came Winnie the Pooh. *groan*

As soon as i reached my college parking lot, i flung Winnie into the deepest corner of my bike.. That done, i heaved a sigh of relief and thanked the good Lord for not letting anyone see me dressed as a clown..

Rains.. LOUSY stupid rains..

First Dates..

First dates are strange things. You're dressed your best, you're nervous as hell and you want to leave a good impression. It's almost like giving a job interview, without getting a job at the end of it. And now all these factors loom really large especially when the date is someone you ACTUALLY like. I don't believe in love at first sight, but i DO believe in crushes at first sight. I saw him, i went wowie and the rest is history.

So, my first date with the lad was not too bad. I would'nt term it a COMPLETE disaster. I could've babbled a little less maybe, but i was nervous as hell. My heart was bungee jumping inside my chest and my brain was on a temporary holiday to the Bahamas.

I was completely drunk on this ragged,could've ironed his shirt at least lad. I took in the details.. the ear-ring, the little patch on his left eyebrow, the hint of a stubble on his face, the chunky watch on his wrist, the uncombed messy hair, the boyish grin. I was on a date with a Greek God.

So, what happened next you ask? Do we have a happy ever after ending? Do i confess the violent boing boings of my heart to him? And does he grin and give me a nice warm bear hug? Nope. Sadly, none of the filmy eeshtyle drills happened. Instead, we parted with waves and polite tadas and vroomed away, in opposite directions.

Some things, are just too good to be true, like shooting stars, one minute they're around and the next they're gone. First dates and shooting stars are quite the same. You catch a tiny little glimpse of joy and before you can wallow in the moment, its gone.

The plane ride from hell..

First up, i'm shit scared of heights, be it on the giant wheel, the roller coaster, the ranger, you name it, i'm scared of them all. I'm the loudest to scream and the first to hurl in any of these rides. So, for someone like me to board a plane and stick my head like a dog, on that little window thing and look at the view below, is QUITE nerve-racking.

This was not my first plane ride, i've been there done that. What i really REALLY look forward to, in any flight, is the food, its all in miniature. Yummy food in blow up your nose portions, a great Indian sweet thrown in and tea or coffee, is the standard menu for an economy class air ticket.

I boarded flight IC-932 at 6.40 pm, sweated my pores out like a pig for the next 15 minutes and when it took off the runway my face was plastered on the window, and i kept looking down at the view till i could see no more of it. The next 25 minutes were agonizing because the hot steward men still had'nt served the food and i kept digging mom on the arm, whispering loudly in her ear, "where's the freaking food?"

An announcement of turbulence and bad weather later, food was FINALLY served. I was midway through my meal when the plane started jerking a little and i thought to myself, "oh yippie, i'm finally home, the plane must have landed." Instead, the captain announced his apologies and requested the cabin crew to take their places immediately. The sandwich i was eating was stuck in my throat, my tummy was brewing up a mini-cyclone and i whispered hoarsely to myself, "i'm going to die on a freaking plane OR be stuck on an island like those men and women from the TV series Lost"

But i was quickly distracted from thoughts of death by the yummy Rasagolla and 15 minutes later we were in Chennai. The first thing i did as soon as i climbed down the steps of the plane was, to touch the ground with my fingers and feel solid earth once again.

My Doctor lady..

The old - the young, the rich - the poor, the posh fancy car riders - the Enfield bad boy riders.. They all have one thing in common.. DISEASES.

I caught my usual cough - cold - i think i'm going to hurl last night's dinner syndrome. I tried age old remedies suggested by mom.. I gulped 6 glasses of steaming hot milk with tumeric powder and i also inhaled hot water with cabbage leaves with a blanket over my head. But the cough-cold monster did'nt seem to budge. I could almost hear them saying, try a little harder sucker.. *evil grin*

Waking up with a brick like feeling in my chest and a toad like voice today morning, was the last straw. I croacked.. "Mommmmiiieeee, I want to go to my doctor lady. *sniff*

My doctor lady, is an adorable really fair, rolly polly thing, with a HUGE friendly grin. She talks nonstop, UNTIL you remind her that she has other patients, waiting in line for her services. Her consultation hours officially begin from 10am to 12 pm. So i kept reminding mom to get ready FAST so that we would'nt have to be waiting for a whole hour and a half before she could see me.

We reached DOT at 9.55 am. There was boy and an old man already seated on the plastic chairs . Mom and me took our seats as well and all 4 of us sat in mute silence, in a half trance - half meditating state. The old man looked at me questiongly with a "You're an able bodied more than healthy looking young woman, you should'nt even be here".. In return i coughed and sniffed. He seemed satisfied with my answer and looked away.

The only sounds that could be heard, apart from occassional coughs and sniffs were the sounds of cars and birds outside. So the sound of an Enfield roaring startled us a little, we all turned around to the source of the roar and in comes a smart looking thatta,with 3 lines on his forehead and a Kumudham magazine in hand.

The lights in doctor lady's clinic, were still not on. It was dark as night. We continued sitting in our trance like positions. A posh looking big car pulled up a little while later, and a very cute looking thatta-paati couple jumped out. Then an autorickshaw pulled up, with a smart mother-daugther duo in jeans and pajama.

The boy smiled into space, i turned around to follow his line of vision and saw Doctor lady rolling in. The lights were FINALLY on.. Hallelujah!!

Mom and i waited patiently for our turn to come, and finally we walked into her cool a/c clinic filled with her cute gizmos. She smiled and said, "But its not the wheezing season yet." Then she made me lie down on her little bed thing, asked me to breathe in, breathe out, do 'aaaa', the usual jazz. Then she asked me for my name (a ritual she's been doing for the past 8 years) and wrote down the names of the tablets, whilst talking non-stop about nothing in particular.

Moral of the Story : More than the tablets and the medication prescribed, it's the doctor lady who makes the difference. Just catching a glimpse of her round self, and listening to her ramble on, makes a person feel fit. Doctors really are miracle workers, the modern-day knights in shining armours. I salute the profession.

Only the Sparten women give birth to REAL men..

Under the command of King Leonidas, 300 brave soldiers fought against an army of a zillion for their country-Greece.

Everything about this movie is inspiritational, an absolute visual treat and definetelty one of the BEST war movies i have seen to date. Right from the war crys, to the witty one liners used in the most intense of scenes, to the costumes worn by the armies, is brilliant..!! 300 just gave war movies a complete make-over and made all the other war movies made to date, look like thrash..

The plot of the movie, is simple. The Persians want to take over Greece, and as per the rules of Greece a war cannot happen, because the elders are against it.

But Leonidas, is not ready to see his country burning and to see the women and children of his kingdom, become slaves to Persians. So they march forward and annihilate men, beasts, animals and immortals who cross their path. They die in the process, but every little bit of blood spilt, does not go to waste.

Greece wakes up and 10,000 soldiers go to war to avenge the death of their King and his 300. As the legend goes, Spartans are the descendants of Hercules himself and they sure did live upto that legend, by standing tall to a rain of zillion arrows thrown their way.

Hail King Leonidas and hail his 300..! *bows down in respect*

Bus number 5E..

To REALLY get to know a city in and out, you have to travel on one of the PTC buses. The ultimate mode of transportation, for the common man/woman.

The bus on which i will have to travel back and forth till the 16th of May, is 5E.. It goes all way from the Gandhi Mandapam bus stop till the vadapalani bus depot, its a painful one hour ride. Now Vadapalani, is a forgotten part of the city. Every 10 steps on the Vadapalani roads will make u want to hurl. Dirt everywhere, strange odours, oggling men (despite the fact that you're wearing the most horrendeous kurta you own) and to add to it all.. the intense Madras heat. Hell, is right HERE on earth ladies and gentlemen.

A new world has opened up to me.. I have become a hard core PTC bus traveller. And my landmarks to ensure that the bus is on the right track are.. some baby donkeys on the way, a barking rabid dog, a picture of Amma in red with the 2 leaf symbol under her picture which makes her look like a rose.. (Go figure) and a Subhiksha store..

And as for my fellow travellers and people on the roads, the following junta caught my eye.. A bunch of really cute looking beggar boys buying tickets from the conductor and one boy meticulously stuffing four 10 rupee notes into his pocket, a school kid standing next to me with a bag 5 times bigger than her, the fat oiled hair smelly woman leaning against me like i was her pillar, a cute big headed bald baby with big eyes lying next to his mom on a bench and kicking his legs and arms in the air and gurgling with joy every 5 seconds after seeing a bus whiz by..

PTC buses.. something all of us mall going, coffee drinking, movie addicts MUST try at least ONCE in our life. Our day to day problems would begin to diminish and fade away and we'd suddenly realize that our lives are painfree and very shallow at times.

Worldspace password renewal..

All worldspace subscribers are subject to a password renewal which happens midway through the month.. They send a letter with a zillion digit code which we have to punch in and only then can we listen to the darn device.. It gets locked, the music stops.. and mom goes beserk.. It’s a vicious cycle.

Last month found me standing in front of mom’s grey box.. with a remote in hand, punching in the finger numbing code.. She made me do this 6 times and all 6 times REJECTED flashed on screen.

This month again the darn letter popped in the mail and mom got even more hysterical because the instructions had’nt been sent along. So I gave her strict orders to take deep breaths and meditate whilst I went to the worldspace website and penned down the instructions.

And this time she wanted to take matters in her own podgy fingers.. And I was glad.. I read out the numbers, she punched them in and voila (miracle of miracles.. there is a God after all) ACCEPTED flashed on screen.

She looked at me with a huge grin on her face, gave me a Hi-5 and said.. “Gayu and mommie make a deadly combination” She continued grinning like a 5 year old for couple of seconds more and then waddled back to her worldspace.

Moral of the story : Grown ups are not really grown ups at the end of the day.. They’re just a bunch of eager enthusiastic lollipop sucking kids with a lot of responsibility on their shoulders.

The Momminess kicked in 7 years too early..

At some point in a woman’s life, she starts to think about her unborn child. And I have reached that point in my life.. apparently.. gulp

From kid-hater, I have progressed on to kid-lover.. There’s something about this kid.. The minute she sees me, her eyes light up and she runs towards me like I’m a precious gem. It’s absolutely adorable.. I feel so loved..

She goo goo gaa gaa’s with me, calls me akka in loud screechy tones every 5 seconds and she gives me hugs of death.. By hugs of death I mean she’s very aggressive.. She pinches me first and then kisses me, she grabs fistfuls of my tresses and then hugs me.. And so on and so forth..

Now in the past, if a kid did the above I would’ve whacked the little monster and run a mile.. But now things have changed.. I have changed..

Traffic Signals..

Have you ever wondered about the life of street people.. Are they nice, are they smart, are they happy, do they have hopes and dreams which they wish to fulfill?

Madhur Bandharkar's Traffic signal is a moving tale about THAT world, a world unknown to us or rather a world we all choose to IGNORE.. Each time we shoo away a beggar boy and then throw him a coin or two, or buy flowers from a little ragged girl we are adding on to the economy of our country.

I dont want to reveal the plot of this movie because i dont think i will do justice to it.

What really grabbed my attention and kept me on my chair for 2 hours and something minutes, was the smiles on their filthy unwashed faces. Horrible living conditions, people who treat them like dirt and barely enough food for survival does'nt bother these people.

Ever willing to lend a helping hand to their fellow workers and having a good time right in the middle of the road.. taking joy from the little things in life, like having a bath from a leaking water lorry and splashing around in the water fountain of a traffic signal keeps them going.

The message i learnt from Traffic Signal : The rest of us non-street workers are too caught up in our problems that we're forgetting to live our life in all it's splendour and glory. Happiness is all around, but we're all forgetting to just BREATHE it in. And even as i typed that line, i felt like a hypocrite.. because, i was tearing a little thinking about a certain someone and wondering if i'd ever see him again..

The man without fear..

Batman Begins truly leaves a mark on any Batman lover's brain.. It's refreshingly different from all the previous Batman flicks made namely Batman and Robin, Batman Returns and Batman forever.

Batman Begins has no overdose of mushy scenes, no overhype of the superhero himself and NO SCREAMING WOMEN.. Thank god..!

Batman Begins takes us to the man behind the mask and back to his roots.. Bruce Wayne, a small boy who has a fear of bats and whose parents get killed right in front of his eyes.. His goal in life henceforth : Avenge his parent's death and kill the gun-man.. But as fate would have it, someone beats the young man to it.

So he fleds his home town Gotham and associates himself with criminals to learn their ways.. He gets locked up in prison and a nasty brawl brews between the young boy and several other inmates.. He's thrown back into his cell and to his surprise he sees a well dressed man in the shadows who invites him to join an elite group.. "The league of Shadow".

The young Bruce Wayne accepts this invitation, learns many a lesson from his mentor (the well dressed man previously mentioned) and he thus becomes one of his best pupils.

But when his mentor orders him to execute a man, Bruce refuses to do so because of his principles and his passion for justice.. So he burns down the whole place and runs back to his home town Gotham and back to his ever faithful butler, who still has hope burning in his chest for his young Master Wayne.

With the help of his butler, Alfred and a former board member of Wayne enterprises, Lucius Fox, young Bruce Wayne slowly morphs into the man who BECOMES the fear himself.. BATMAN..

What follows next, is Gotham city under the clutches of the League of Shadow who are hell bent on the destruction of Gotham and the Scarecrow who plays a minor role now and then..

Every detail in this movie is an ABSOLUTE treat for the eyes and the imagination.. After watching the final scene of this movie, which involved a Joker Card, i'm restless and impatient.. I want to scream out to the movie makers.. Make the sequel.. FAST..!

The MESSAGE i learn't from Batman Begins : Even heroes have a right to bleed.. All of us fall down with a MIGHTY THUD, but we HAVE TO stand up again and face our demons.. True courage lies only in that.. The world has no place for cowards..

My partner in crime..

When i was 13 years old my father got me a new toy to play with.. An LG computer. I was thrilled as any child would be on getting something new.

I started exploring the parallel world of the internet and I soon became a voracious virtual socialiser.. And i met people.. Many people.. Some nice, some not so nice.

But i'm not going to get into my "virtual socialising" addiction now.. That's a tale of gore which shall be narrated in another post.

Back to my LG system now.. She has been my closest confidante, my partner in crime and my best friend when life was'nt a bed of roses.

A technician from Airtel had come home in the morning, to fix a problem in our broadband. All the while he was here, he kept saying.. "This system is too slow.. You have to upgrade it" He repeated this sentence every 5 minutes with a look of impatience and disgust.

And my brain whispered an order.. PUNCH HIM HARD.. I was surprised at the amount of anger seething through my body.. I could almost see and feel molten lava oozing through every vein.

I had to bite my tongue down from screaming.. "Don't tell me what to do with my PC, there's nothing wrong with it"

My computer suddenly seemed like family.. like my younger sister perhaps.. i could'nt stand the thought of an outsider coming home and giving me gyaan on my sister.

Maybe i was just pissed off with being woken up so early in the morning or maybe, the demented book i had been reading lately, about a psychotic mother who treated her daughter like dirt, was lingering in my brain.

But one thing's for sure.. This PC right here has been my life support for the past 8 years.. i love this pile of metal with all my life..!

The evolution of mankind..

When God created Adam and Eve he hoped that they would be good to each other, make loads of babies and live in peace and harmony..

But what did they do..? They ate that DARN APPLE and the happy lazy life they led was history..

And Adam and Eve's kids didnt do much to help the darn apple situation either.. they did'nt undo their parents wrong, instead they continued screwing around, and in no time the world said hello to terrorism, thefts, murders and all those other horrible crimes an insane human being is capable of doing..

The past 3 days ive seen some pretty nasty things.. And i did'nt do anything.. i just stood by and let it unfold before my eyes..

Incident 1
I was at Landmark with a friend, we were walking towards the Exit gate and we saw a fight brewing up between an old watchman and a middle-aged rich looking man.. It was a tongue lashing war and no real harm was done, but after about a minute the youngish man grabbed a cup of coffee the old man was drinking, threw it to the ground and next he pushed him on the ground..

I was shocked.. The wind got knocked out of me.. Patience, tolerance and respect to our elders irrespective of their financial status and standing in the society was something we've all been taught, at school and at home..

Now WHATEVER the old man had done to this middleaged man he should've complained to a higher authority and left it at that.. he had absolutely NO RIGHT to raise his hand at a helpless old man..

Incident 2
I had just finished my workout at the gym and was walking towards my bike at the parking lot.. I noticed a little boy screaming PODA and running away from a middleaged man who was eating something from the
roadside eatery.. This man, yelled back at this little kid and threw stones at him..

The man was well dressed, he was in his office clothes and im sure he was atleast a DEGREE holder.. Havent we been taught NOT to raise our hands at those smaller and weaker than us..?

For both Incident 1 and Incident 2, the UNDERLYING THREAD is that human beings are UNCIVILISED, HEARTLESS, CRUEL and BARBARIC.. Being well qualified, educated and having a good job doesnt really go a long way in making a man a good human being..

If we dont wake up and undo our wrong doings soon enough.. something REALLY BAD is going to happen.. Something MUCH WORSE than the darn apple situation.. And i sure as hell DONT want to be around to see it..

Why do the women in superhero movies scream so much..?

I am a die hard fan of Batman, Spiderman, Superman, Daredevil and all
those other superheroes, u name the boys, i love them all..

When the artists, painters and the movie-makers made these heroes come alive in front of our eyes they had a message to pass on :
There is a superhero in every one of us. So maybe we can't fly or climb walls or smell the rain before it falls on the ground or have supersonic hearing, BUT we're special, each and every single one of us.

That being said, i now move on to the essence of this post, namely, the lady loves of their lives. Why are they degraded and made to look like damsels in distress?

Why in the world do they SCREAM SO MUCH..?! By showing some shots of
her hanging from a ledge or being chased by the bad guy, it is very
clearly established that she is in trouble and therefore the next scene would go as clockwise; our superhero swoops in and rescues
her.

Now logic tells us all.. IF a superhero is in love with a woman, she's obviously got to be someone who is real SPECIAL, someone who's
intelligent, street smart and independent.. and hence a woman like THAT would definetely not scream her guts out over and over AND over again every TWO minutes of a dishum-dishum scene.

On the other hand, instead of screaming and wasting ALL that ENERGY she would in all probability WANT a piece of the action herself.. she would want to get in there and beat the shit out of the bad guys and help our superhero in question in his conquest of saving the world.

Moral of the story : It's a male dominated world both in real life and in the movies/comics. And i dont like it. I dont like it one bit.. "Im disgusted" would be an UNDERSTATEMENT.

Oh where oh where did my baby go..?

While reading this post keep humming Last Kiss by Pearl Jam..

Those mother-daughter talks are nice when one goes through a rough patch.. My mom and i just took a nice half an hour stroll on the terrace.. It was nice and breezy and pitch dark.. And the lump began to form in my throat and it all came gushing out.. memory after memory..

I told her about the only boy who i ever really cared about all through my 20 selfish immature years of life and how he left my world without saying a word..

I told her about how he walked into my life.. like a breath of fresh air.. the 12 hour conversation we had all night long that day, and how we got close to each other over the next couple of months that followed..

I told her about how much i miss him now and the change he brought about in me.. he rubbed off on me by leaving behind his analytical thinking and his pearls of wisdom..

I told mom why he was so special for a 24 year old boy.. He was a modern day Jesus Christ in many ways.. kind, generous, giving and understanding people's fears and needs.. I told her about the conversations we had, with me talking like a 5 year old and him retorting to my goo-goo-gaa-gaa-ing in his wise grandfatherly fashion.. for example..

Me : Hey look at my arms in this picture.. they look like tree trunks..
Him : *grins* what rubbish.. your arms look like clouds drawn by a child..
Me : Hrmph.. Poda monkey
Him : Mmmm.. Sometimes we dont realize that there are people in the world who have no arms..
Me : *sob* yeah.. you're right.. im such an idiot.. :/
Him : *hugs* thats alright.. you're my child.. you didnt realize what you were saying.. :)

Next i told mom that the reason i can't move on with my life is because there is no closure.. he didnt tell me that we were kappish.. that we're through.. the last conversation and the last message i got from him had no signs of it being our LAST conversation and LAST message.. He was not cold, rude or bitter.. he was chirpy, happy, full of life and making smoochey noises on the phone.. or in other words.. he was still the boy who i flipped for..

And finally i told ma that i wanted her to pray with all her heart and soul for him to come back in my life so i can smile once again whole-heartedly, instead of pretending to be happy..

And when i said that, i realized that though he's gone now, a part of him will always be with me and no one can take the memories away..
All i have to do is close my eyes and his voice comes back to my head.. singing for me, preaching to me about the importance of education, telling me how lazy i am and that i'm capable of much greater things in life.. His trust, faith and belief in me scared me at times.. I wondered whether i could ever live up to his expectations..

You will always be on my mind Srivathsan.. each time i see a plane flying through the skies i'll wonder whether you approved of that one..

Happy Woman's Day..

Today is International Woman's day.. the perfect day for me to sort out my head and get my priorities in life right..

For starters.. ive decided to stop under-estimating myself and open my eyes to the world of possibilities.. If i try hard enough i might actually have the power of flight..

Secondly.. I will stop getting friendly with devil worshippers, junkies and loonville musicians.. They only spell trouble with a capital T..

Thirdly.. I will gym harder.. much MUCH harder so that i can loose a zillion kgs and look like an anorexic malnutritioned stick wrapped around with clothes..

Fourthly.. Every time my mind takes me down painful memory lane i will pinch myself and snap out of it..

Fifthly.. I will stop throwing swear words at random careless auto rickshaw drivers, cyclists, pedestrians who try to get themselves killed while i drive..

Sixthly.. Every time a really hot boy eyes me i will mutter in my brain.. "Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" and walk away without throwing him a second glance.. Ive decided to stop looking INSIDE the deep well filled with TOADS and instead look OUTSIDE that well..

Finally.. Women rule.. We're the givers of life and doers of all pure GENUINE honest deeds in this world.. In the words of Meredith Broocks:

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

The Truth..

I thought he was an arrogant snob and wanted nothing to do with him.. But then again there was something very alluring about him.. His boyish charm, the head full of curls and his wicked sense of
humour..

Yes, im moonstruck, so God help me..

A long winding conversation about nothing in general through the better half of the night and a one hour conversation in the morning should'nt mean much really..

But here i am thinking about the lad who i barely know, wondering what he's upto and whether we shall ever be friends..

So here's the truth ABOUT the truth.. It hurts.. The expectations and the uncertainty kills you..

P.S : Yes im going through a phase right now.. I'm NOT a WIMP, im just a wee bit more sensitive to people than i usually am.. I think.. :/

War Journalism..

I've always wanted to be a journalist.. ever since i was 15 years old to be precise, and today after watching Kabul Express the desire has become stronger..

The movie revolves around 2 Indian TV journalists who travel all the way from Bombay for the ultimate news scoop.. Meeting the Taliban..

And in their long tiring journey they come across Fanatic Muslims, Bollywood crazy Afghanistans and a soldier of the hated Taliban who needs to escape the clutches of the Afghanis and run back to his home.. Pakistan..

On the outset this soldier (Imran Khan Afridi) appears to be a man with no emotions who beats the shit out of people and fires his gun with a drop of a hat..

But as he opens his heart out to these Indians in his own barbaric fashion he reveals to them that he is a wounded father who's aching to see his daughter, he's a cricket fanatic who believes strongly that Imran Khan is the best all round cricketer the world has seen and that he loves Indian ciggarettes..

My heart went out to this Taliban man, maybe most of the talibanis are heartless cruel gore machines but essentially they're human beings just like you and me.. They have a heart which beats as strongly as ours..

As for the background score of the movie, its absolutely brilliant.. it has the right feel.. eerie, haunting and it will stick on your brain for a long long time..

Final Note : WATCH KABUL EXPRESS..

Dizzee World times..

So TODAY was a really fun "i think im going to hurl any second" way DAY..

Confused..? You should'nt be.. The name of this post suggests it all.. MGM Dizzee World.. Ive been to hell and back.. :/

No im NOT exaggerating or over-reacting.. i have a phobia for heights and ALL the rides in this theme park are centered around heights..

I always wondered.. Why do people PAY for this kind of torture..? Are they out of their freaking minds..?

And today the answer came to me..

Anyplace, anywhere, anytime.. can be made fun if u're with the right company..

I still am scared of heights, but thanks to all my friends.. I went on ALL the rides.. every single one of them.. including the RANGER ride which stands upside down in midair for ONE whole minute..

The trick to all these crazy wobbly air rides is to just sit back, relax, enjoy the view, watch the coast line, the greenary and scream with all your guts every now and then..

My back hurts, my head is still spinning, and i cant feel my neck anymore.. But hey, whats this life for if you dont do something out of character every once in a while..?

In conclusion.. "Life is not about the number of moments u breathe in.. Life is about the number of moments that take your breath away.." as quoted by Will Smith in Hitch.. :)

My chomp chomp past..

So my past always manages to crawl slowly behind me, like a snake slithering slowly to pounce on her prey..

And when the time is right.. "CHOMP CHOMP.. *burp* *sigh* yes that was one tasty butt".. If my past had a voice she would say the above sentence..

Rewinding back to the time i was dating a drummer/guitarist scrawny dreamboat.. my 1st love and a lying two timing speck of humanity..

The typical case of denial.. (read MY denial) I failed to see that my cheese was getting stale.. I failed to see the signs of "he's screwing someone else".. and i found out about it a little too late.. ANYWAYS..! thats not the point of this post..

This is about another BOY i met during the same time.. So scrawny dreamboat two timer was having a gig at some vague place.. He gave me a vague address.. (read NON EXISTANT address).. so of course i HAD to go.. to fulfill my girlfriendly duties and be his groupie.. *sniff*

So i called the other BOY who i barely knew by the way.. we had NEVER met.. we had only chatted online and spoken on the phone.. but i needed a drop and a pick up.. (YES.. i was an oppurtunistic bitch back then)

So we met up.. exchanged helloes and set out to find the non existant venue of my exs' non existant gig..

We drove on his really cool MODIFIED enfield which made this roaring noise and had uber cool skull tatoo like stickers stuck all over it..

He drove for 3 hours straight.. :/ finally the shit hit the ceiling.. i realized that i had been taken for a ride.. literally and figuratively..

And after that i lost touch with BOY.. i associated him with this horrible day in my life..

Now fastforwarding back to TODAY.. i woke up early.. raced to the gym.. and who do i see working out on the EFX machine..? BOY..!!
I sucked in a huge gulp of air and drank 3 glasses of water..

I ran to the changing room.. Wore my shoes and wondered.. will he recognize me..? Should I say hello..?

I walked out confidently with an air of a person who was here for one mission alone.. PUMP IRON..

But my confidence notched down to zilch when i saw him again.. I got on the threadmill for my warm-up.. Kept looking at the glass in front of me to sneak a peak at him to see what he was upto.. after my 5 minute warm up was done i stepped off the threadmill and on to the stretch machine..

Finally i saw my trainer walking towards me,smiling broadly and probably thinking.. YES oh yes..!! time for yet another torture session.. *muuahahahahaha*

We got on to the weights immediately.. After finishing one set i gasped for water and air.. So i ran to the cooler again.. and there he was.. sitting on the sofa, throwing daggers from his eyes and frowning at me like i was a terrorist.. At that very moment i prayed and wished the earth would split open in two and take me down with her..

I should've said something then.. "Hi Vijay".. or "Im sorry" or "Hey remember me.. the horrible kid who made u drive around every nook and cranny of this city..?"

But i just gawked at him through sips of water panting profusely and sweating like a pig.. :/

And then i ran away.. back to my trainer and the machines..

Moral of the story : There's always a time and place for striking up a conversation.. Strike when the time is right or repent forever..

The voices..

The promises made
The memories nurtured
The moments lived and re-lived
Was it all a lie..??

Where'd you go leaving me all alone to to my demons
You promised to stand by me come what may..
But when i turned around I saw only my dark shadow

I fool myself into believing i'm unaffected
I wake up every morning with a tiny little ray of hope which fades away as the hours pass by..

I try not to remember the good times
It only wakes up the pain that sleeps inside my chest..

You called me your child, you protected me from the icy winds of life
And now i'm cold and shivering with no one to turn to..

You were the only one who knew my fears and wiped my tears
Where'd you go leaving me broken and incomplete..?

Bring me back to life
Make me whole again
Make the dark demons go away..

Saarang 2007 - Powerchords and Decibel..

So last weekend was my FIRST ever powerchord and decibel.. Ive gone for small time battle of bands at the unwind before, but this was Saarang.. the bands are bigger, better and larger in number..

And as usual.. i was nervous.. before every gig my hands freeze like a dead man and i could feel butterflies running in my stomach..

So 27th January.. there i was riding on my bike.. taking slow deep breaths and riding towards Ascendas.. (i was going with t and n)

I walked inside the food court after parking my bike and i saw 2 smiling faces.. i walked upto them.. and i saw a piece of chocolate brownie covered in chocolate sause..

T said.. Happy birthday.. We couldnt find a cake..

And N rubbed some chocolate sause on my hand..

After stuffing it all down in 2-3 gulps we rode our bikes and made our way to the IIT campus..

N insisted on walking all the way instead of taking the bus.. It was a nice 2km walk considering i had flesh and blood real life Laurel and Hardy.. (much COOLER versions) :p tripping on each other..

The trechourous straight road trek was worth it.. we neared bindaas park and we could hear the thomp thomp thomp of music.. :) our heartbreats raced.. we stopped walking and started jogging a little..

And after that time and space and everything else was a blur.. the music took control.. And like all battle of bands.. There were some good ones and some awful ones..

My favourite band anyway was the "tease" band.. The drummer wore a Ramco cement t-shirt, the vocalist spoke gibberish into the mike.. My friend mentioned.. "Oh cool.. A goan band.." But the minute the words were out of his mouth we heard him say "nakshatrangal" :p and thats when we smelt the fish..

After they finished their 20 minute "performance" the vocalist/lead guitarist ran off stage like his ass had caught fire.. What stage presence i thought.. :p

In a nutshell last weekend was 48 hours of Ultraviolent rays, friends, smokes and very bad tanning.. I wish i could re-live it all.. :)

Goodbye my lover..

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

All hail James Blunt.. i could'nt have said it better.. Change is the constant of life.. people play different roles in our lives.. and i never wanted his role to end in mine.. i didnt dream of it in my wildest dreams.. this was IT, i thought, the real deal..

Stings.. stings like mad.. ive been through heartbreaks before.. ive moved on and healed.. but this time it feels different.. my life seems to have come to a standstill.. moving on is a far dream..

I generally use the HATE therapy to get over people.. but there are no bitter memories or nasty experiences i can think of.. you didnt hurt me in anyway..

On the contrary you handled all my mood swings extremely well and knew me inside out.. all my fears, my hopes, my deep dark secrets.. A slight tremble in my tone of voice and you'd know something was not right..

Would i be able to face the world without your wise voice running through my head..? Without the sound of your laughter ringing in my ears..?

Hopefully with some reserves of strength in my veins i shall move on with my life and smile someday.. but as of now, this very moment.. my wasted heart shall love you and i will wonder where you are and what you're doing right now and whether your heart is crushed to tiny bits like mine..

Be happy wherever you are boy.. it was an honour just knowing you.. take care.. God bless..

My King..

You've taught me how to love
My heart, its yours now

The days of 'me' have come to an end
The days of 'us' have begun a long blissful journey

The past is a bad dream..
The future; uncertain

Let me tell you about my hopes and my dreams
Let me hold you close and whisper in your ears that you rock my world

If i were to die tommorow; know that i'm at peace..
Because you have given me the greatest gift in the world.. YOU

I love you my angel..
I love you more than life itself

Here i am on my knees asking for your forgiveness for all the times ive hurt you in my blind rage
I know you will treat me like a goddess tommorow because i see the patience with which u handle all my mood swings

You know me inside out..
I feel naked in front of your eyes

You know the real me and im glad..
The rest of the world does'nt matter

In your eyes im a queen and that is more than what i asked for

If Only..

I saw this flick an hour back on Star Movies and i HAD to blog rightaway. Its absolutely brilliant. I cried my heart out.. every MINISCULE detail of this movie is so perfect.

Its a MUST watch for all couples.. married couples, folks in live in
relationships. Ive decided the minute i get my hands on MY guy, i WILL make him buy this movie and ill force him to watch it at least once.

The story revolves around ONE DAY in the life of a young businessman
(Paul Nicholls) and his girlfriend (Jennifer Love Hewitt). They're deeply in love with each other,but the boy barely has any time to spend with his muscian girlfriend because of his busy schedule. He's a complete workaholic and his girl takes a very high second priority in his life.

She's exactly the opposite. She's carefree, brings joy wherever she goes, people love her, and she teaches little children the violen.

Her music and her guy are all that matters to her. She leaves her hometown just to be with him and she practises her music. She's a proffessional, a music student who has been playing the violen for 16 years and she's an amazing singer. So TODAY is the day she graduates from the prestigious music institution and gets her degree. So her guy comes to watch her perform but he's in a bad mood, so the day ends with them in a restaurant arguing with each
other and she walks out crying. She jumps into a cab and the guy stands on the pavement unsure what to do. The minute the cab pulls away he chases it screaming out her name. But the next minute another vehicle comes and rams hard into it and she dies.

The boy is heartbroken. He goes back home, looks at her diary, her violen box, and a song she had written for him. He grips the diary tightly on his chest and lies crumpled on bed heart broken and sobbing hysterically.

He wakes up the next morning and he hears her voice saying "Read one word from my diary and you're dead" He gets up with a start and is in complete shock to see her there. She tries to soothe him, telling him not to worry and that he's probably stressed out with work. So he decides not to tell her what happened the previous day and he tries his level best to make sure that YESTERDAY does not repeat itself TODAY. So he takes her out of London, to where he grew up
and he really opens out his heart to her. Appreciates her and treasures her like a woman should be treated by a man who loves her. And she thanks him for the PERFECT DAY.

Despite his best efforts though, he still notices that YESTERDAY is repeating itself again in a jumbled fashion. All the minute details repeats itself again.. like her hand burning, his friend hitting on a woman in a bar and the man in the cab.

But he decides to just go with the flow. He brings her flowers with a note that says.. "Someday is TODAY" meaning he wants her to sing her song. He always encouraged her to sing but she'd keep saying ill sing someday. Hence the note.

So at the end of the concert the entire orchestra starts playing her song and she's forced to go on stage and sing. The day ends with them in front of the cab and just before they get in he tells her that he loves her and that she taught him how to love. She smiles, kisses him and they get inside the cab together.

And like YESTERDAY the vehicle from the opposite side rams violently into the cab, but THIS time the boy takes the hit. He sheilds her and in the process she survives with a few cuts and bruises and HE dies.

The movie ends with her singing in front of an audience and climbing the hill, the place the boy grew up, the place where they spent a whole day in each others arms.

The MORAL I LEARNT from this movie is..
* Love your partner like there's no tommorow.
* Live in the PRESENT.
* RIGHT NOW is all that we have.
* Tell your partner how much u love him/her before its too late.
* Tell your partner how much he/she means to you and the differnce
he/she has brought to your life.
* Make them happy,they deserves it.. because THAT is the the very
LEAST we can do for them. :)

The Long Hours..

Time ticks by slowly..
Each minute, a stab to my heart
The wait is agonising..
The pain; blinding

But WE are worth it
The pain is part of the ride..

You promised me the moon
I believe you..
You promised me all the food in the world
I believe you..

Trust, respect and love is all that i have for you
Then there's that pain again..
The insecurities and the wounds of the past hit me like a wave crashing againsts the rocks

Will i loose you..?
Does your heart still beat my name the long hours that we're apart..?
Does my face bring a smile on your face..?

I miss you.. I miss you terribly
Fill the void in my soul
Bring my empty broken heart to life again..

Road Rage..

This is one post ive been wanting to type down every single day after i come back home from college, after battling the insane chennai traffic..

Women have been riding bikes and cars since i was a little kid.. maybe even much MUCH before that.. Then why is it that men try and act smart whenever they see women on bikes..?

They overtake you from a very very close angle of your bike.. despite the fact that the road is comparitively empty on the left and the right sides..

They honk just when you're about to take a turn WITH YOUR INDICATOR ON.. (point to note : They KNOW u're going to take a turn but THEY HAVE TO OVERTAKE ANYWAY..!)

So today.. on my way back home after an exam.. 2 smart alecs pulled the above stunts..

Smart Alec number 1

He overtook me even though the road was comparatively empty and came and halted right in front of me at a signal.. Now i am a speed lover.. i drive at 70kmph minimum.. (i drive a Scooty Pep,so.. YES 70 kmph is FAST)

So i pressed the brakes hard with my fingers with all the energy i could muster but the front of my baby hit his crappy bike with a huge THUD.. He turned around and gave me a look, i just said..
"Oh.. did i hit u..? im soo sorry.. Maybe you should learn a little road etiquettes and stick to one side of the road instead of going all over the place and overtaking folks.."

Smart Alec number 2

Now this guy pulled the honking stunt, i put on my indicator for a left turn to overtake the car in front of me and our man comes right behind me and honks his ugly loud ear drums breaking disgusting honk.. So i turned off the ignition and stopped right in front of him.. Turned around and said "what is your problem..? dont you see my right indicator on..?" and without bothering to wait for his reply i whizzed by..

The man didnt stop there, he followd me and continued honking.. So i figured; hell.. play fire with fire.. i kept looking at his car through my rear view mirrors and rode right in front him.. i did not allow him to overtake me..

MESSAGE TO MALE RIDERS : Respect women on the roads.. Dont you have mothers and sisters at home..? Would you like it if you knew that you're women are being treated like dirt on the roads..? Please think twice before you pull some stupid stunt..

80 days..

This is it.. THIS is the real deal
This is the very first time in my life ive been in the presence of love so deep, love so pure..
Contentment and sheer bliss run through my veins

You came into my life when i least anticipated it.. like a thundershower in the heat of summer..
And now there is no turning back

When you are not around the hours are empty, meaningless and full of pain
And when you are around i'm complete, i become whole again..

I've lost control of my life.. YOU have taken over my senses completely..
You bleed me.. You heal me..
And im happy to go through the pleasure and the pain because you are the source of both..

My tears prove my loyalty and commitment to you
And my laughter reinforces the fact that i've never been more happier in my life..

Im a lovefool, i'm YOUR lovefool..
And i promise to be by your side, come what may..

My lucky charm.. i'm intoxicated by your wisdom, your maturity..
Knowing that those two beady eyes are looking only at me gives me a high
Knowing that those creative musical fingers will only run on me transports me on to 7th heaven..

Come take me away.. Lets get lost in ourselves and forget the real world..

Disney Pixar’s CARS

So its been a while since I did a movie review, not because im no longer a movie buff.. its still 1vcd per day minimum.. and 4 on the weekends.. I stopped reviewing movies because nothing touched my heart all that much. I saw DON, Dhoom 2 and a whole pile of movies.. But all the flicks I saw just shocked or awed me.. Nothing seemed to hit all my mushy sensitive nerves..

Today I cozied myself up on my couch and turned on CARS ( I fought for buying the VCD in the shop) and the little debate over whether or not to buy the VCD was worth it.. I’m so glad my stubborn streak didn’t allow me to put it back on the rack..

The story revolves around race cars. The hero of the story a young hot shot rookie race car named Lightning Mc Queen is living life on the fast lane. He’s arrogant, he’s snooty, he’s self centered and all he cares about is money, fame and women.

Mc Queen competes with the 2 other champion cars and they all make it to the finish line at almost the same time.

So to win the prestigious Piston Cup the 3 cars have to race against each other exactly 1 week later in Los Angeles as a tie breaker round.

But on his way to Los Angeles he hits a detour and gets stranded in a sleepy little forgotten town named Radiator Springs. He wrecks up the Radio Springs highroad in an ensuing chase with the town’s Sheriff..

So as his punishment a young beautiful lady lawyer.. a Porsche named Sally suggests to the head of the town Doc Hudson that the boy pay his price and clean up the mess he created..

Mc Queen protests at first, he tries running away and pulls various other stunts but to no avail. So finally he tars the whole road and in the process he makes a whole lot of new friends, he falls in love, helps re-build the sleepy town back to their “hay days” and he discovers that Doc Hudson was a pro racer during his time..

The movies ends with the boy choosing his life.. Fame v/s a nice life filled with love and meaning.

A MUST watch for children AND adults.. Tears would be shed in the second half of the movie so keep the tissues ready.

In a nutshell a GREAT feel good movie.. Leaves u rejuvenated and light at heart..

The kid next door..

Ever since i can remember.. ive had a strong disliking for children.. I have my reasons.. Sure.. they're cute, they're adorable and they're tiny dots of homosapiens.. What's not to like some ask..

Well.. they bite, they puke, they pee on your lap, they tug at your beautiful junk jewellery and they stuff your hair into their tiny mouths..

Ive had plenty of tiny dot cousins and i have been victimised by them.. *sob* The whole tiny dot homosapien army are against me.. They hate me.. =(

But offlate ive suddenly begun to dislike them a little less.. There's a cute kid who lives next door.. She's probably a year or two.. She keeps screaming out to me and she runs towards me like a rocket each time she catches a glimpse of me..

So last evening.. She was standing at her doorway and my mom was standing at ours.. Mom kept calling out to her.. "aditi.. come" but she graciously shook her head from left to right.. So i gave it a shot.. The minute i called out to her she put one step forward and did a baby talk.. So i walked upto her doorway and i bent down to her height.. she gave me a broad 3 teeth grin and shook my hand.. Then she gurgled something and yanked my hair.. One mighty yank.. :/ For a dot of a homosapien she sure had might.. :/ i was shocked..

There it was again.. KIDS HATE ME..!! :(

Then her mom came running and unclawed her tiny animal like claws from my brown tresses..

She was not done yet.. She kept pulling at my hand leading me inside her house.. So her mom HAD to converse with me.. (Point to note here:Kids create situations you dont want to be in)

Her mother gave me a piece of chocolate cake.. (yaay..:D) and suddenly the kid yanking my hair didnt seem to matter too much..

I thanked her for the cake and began to walk out of the house.. The minute i did that the tiny animal came bounding behind me and continued yanking at my hand.. I didnt budge.. So she fell down and continued her yanking.. :p

Hearing the thud of her tiny tush i turned around and sat down next to her and i said.. "aditi variya..?" She continued gurgling.. So i stood up, checked to see if my cake was intact, gave her a wave and quickly made my exit..

Moral of the story : When that kid grows up to be say 4-5 years old.. she is going to come bounding into my room.. So i'd better start hiding stuff asap.. :/ :p

Food for thought..

I tried hookah today for the very first time at Mocha.. I had gone along with a friend.. We tried their green apple flavoured hookah.. It was HORRIBLE.. i absolutely hated/loathed it..

After about 12 puffs of the eeyew tasting thing i wondered.. How do people do this shit..? If they wanted some sweet crap going down their throat they might as well go & drink some juice at fruit shop..

I lunged into my bag for my Wills pack and i puffed with
relief when the nicotine filled my lungs..

And right after I smoke I have the appetite of a horse.. I can eat absolutely ANYTHING that moves..

So to satisfy my bottomless pit we ordered a dessert called 'That Chocolate Thing'.. We waited impatiently for about 25 minutes before the waitress finally brought it on our table.. It was absolutely worth the wait.. It was lip smacking.. I cud not stop digging on the plate with the spoon until every drop of the chocolate sause had dried on it..

After about 5 minutes of staring at each other with glee and sheepish grinning, a thought struck me.. Places like Pizza Hut have offers like "Bottomless Pepsi" ie pay the price for 1 cup of pepsi but the glass is re-filled each time its empty.. and likewise "Topless Pizza".. ie pay the price for 1 pizza and eat a zillion.. *slurp*

So why cant Mocha also have an offer like that..? They can call it the "Plateless Sins" or "Plateless desserts" or well whatever.. they can give it a fancy name and we can pay for the price of 1 That Chocolate thing or 1 Choco Father or 1 Chocolate Avalanche or 1 Lava Lava.. and we can keep eating that particular dessert for which we have payed for, till our greed is extinguised.. Im sure chocolate lovers would all nod along with me..

Hmm.. Now THAT'S some food for thought.. Mocha admin/heads.. if u're reading this.. Please oh please.. Hear me out and consider this suggestion seriously.. I assure you I would LIVE in mocha if u guys have this offer..

The life of the ladybird..

So when i was little i had this habit of catching random ladybirds and putting them in a matchbox..

I loved the tiny red bug with the black dots.. I loved watching them run around in my matchbox.. but every now and then it would poop.. a golden-yellowey dot poop..

Now why am i going on and on about a ladybird you wonder..

Well.. I am the ladybird now.. We've swapped places apparently.. Now i'm the one who is running around peeing in my pants and the big box is college..

They say "What goes around comes around".. so so true..

The torturer has become the torturee.. Forgive me my ladybird friend..

Yet Another Ode To My Love

You inspire me to work hard & make a name for myself in this world..
And i promise i will not let u down..

I have immense respect for u..
And i place you in the highest position of my heart.. Where you rightfully belong..

Your maturity leaves me awestruck..
Many a time you have played the role of my guide,my advisor and my best friend..
You're trying your very best to lead me through the right path of life.. And i shall gladly follow..

You have turned my world upside down..
Life as i had known it to be ceazes to exist..

The shallow side of my personality is fading away little by little..
All thanks to you..

Each second of my life that i spend with you im falling more and more in love with you..

And i love this feeling..
This feeling of being your woman.. Till my very last breath..

My Trivandrum trip..

So 10 days back.. i packed my bags and set out to make my annual ritual trip to god's own country.. This time it was a little different.. i call it 'growing up'.. i learnt a few things.. i did a little bit of soul searching and this is what i came up with..

1. Too many shots of Irish Bailey a day can make u drowsy and would add on to the cms around your waist

2. Life without ciggaretes aint too bad.. I thought i was a nicotine addict.. 2-3 ciggies a day keeps me going.. But for the past 10 days ive been off it.. and ive survived.. so i suppose i can control the addiction

3. I learnt the value and essence of time.. for the past 10 days i was cut off from civilazation.. no internet connection, using my mobile was out of the question because as usual i was low on balance.. 63 paise to be exact.. And i realized.. I have to get in touch with people.. people i already know, old friends, exisiting friends.. and bump into newer people.. some more..

4. Old people, especially old relatives can get a little strange at times.. I find it hard to make conversation with someone who is 60 years older than me.. But if we dont make small talk.. we're labelled as "stuck up".. so talk about things in general.. Ask them about their health, because all old people have some disease or the other.. Talk about their children and their children's children.. They'll go on and on..

5. Temples are really boring places.. Standing in front of a closed door for 25 minutes is'nt exactly what i'd like to on a cold rainy day.. but heck.. i love my grandmother.. she's the best granny in the whole wide world and i'd do anythin for her..

6. Planes are mini-roller coaster rides.. for people who're afraid of heights and afraid of gettin on those crazy rides in those theme parks.. i'd recommend catchin a plane.. It really is fun.. The head rush when the plane takes off the runway and goes soaring up is something else.. And the view is absolutely breathtaking.. we live in a very beautiful world..

7. Uniformed pilots are hot.. *evil grin* somebody gift me that for my 20th birthday.. :p (which is coming up soon.. dont forget)

My Better Half..

My 20 years of waiting has not been in vain..
For i've finally caught hold of your hand..

I was a child lost in a crowd searching for her guardian angel..
And now i'm lost no more..

My joy has no bounds..
And there is this aching to be with you every second of my life..

My little chef, my little rockstar, my little baby boy..
Ive never been so much in love before..

I was a wounded soldier and my life was dull and grey..
You have joined the broken pieces of my heart and made me see colours again..

And now in return, I give you my life.. I give you my soul..

My better half.. I'd be nothing without you my love..

Mmmm.. :)

Yesterday was a pretty ordinary day in my life.. Woke up,went about doing the mundane activities of the day,saw movies as usual..

I saw this one movie called "Undiscovered".. the life of a model who's going around with a musician.. But the guy's a jerk, keeps cheating on her and all that jazz, so she leaves and decides to pursue acting as a career in another state.. And now in that state she bumps into this incredibily down to earth, singing at an eat-out every night musician..

And eventually of course they hook up.. The reason i saw this movie was because i saw my own life unfolding out.. Except for the fact that i'm not a model and i still hv'nt bumped into an "incredibly down to earth blah blah musician" every other detail fits right into place..

Right after i saw this movie.. I got online.. I was really bored.. And when im really reaalllly bored.. I get into the "Chennai Global Chat rooms" just to have a good laugh, because the people in there are absolutely hilarious.. U hv to see it to believe it..

As soon as i stepped in.. I heard music.. good music for a change.. Guitar strumming and amazing sexy deep vocals for metal songs..!!
So i stuck around.. I commented on the mains every now and then.. Requested for songs.. Went on for about 20 minutes or so till the crowd started fighting for the mike.. And so the musician dude had to step down..

About 10 minutes later i was invited for a voice conferance with the musician dude, and 2 other people..

So the virtual 1 man army gig continued.. :) I sang along, cheered like mad, requested for songs..

But at some point of the conferencing the other 2 people slipped out.. So it was just me and him.. And we got talkin..

And we ended up talking all night long.. :p I was glued on to my system till 6.30 am today..

Sigh.. :) I have'nt felt this content in ages..

If he was'nt in the UAE i wud've definetely met up with him today.. :)

Crushes..

Those annoying phenomenons which occur once in a blue moon in our lives.. Grr..!

I was a very dumb kid.. growing up i did tons of stupid things.. Heck.. i probably still am dumb..

So there was this guy.. (one of my poems here titled "A 1000 knives" is about him).. I was 13-14 or so.. and he was a college fresher.. He was my first brush with the "long haired rocker dude" variety.. and i flipped.. i flipped hard.. And my 13 year old brain convinced me into believing that he was the ONE.. Oh joy..! *ZzZz*

Chubby, wannabe guitarist, nice curly long hair.. He seemed perfect.. My knight wid a shining guitar..

And i asked him out.. yessire.. i sure did.. and of course he turned me down.. And after that i lost touch with him.. I was embarressed and hurt.. I didnt want to make a fool of myself any further.. so it seemed like the wisest thing to do..

Now fastforwarding to the future.. i cant say history repeated itself because this new guy is NOT a long haired rocker dude.. He's NOT a guitarist.. Heck we dont share a darn thing in common.. come to think of it.. Grr..!

But whenever we're together i get all blushy and giggly and its annoying..! Grr..!

Ive decided not to do anything.. Why..? 2 reasons..

Number 1.. I dont want to make a fool of myself..
Number 2.. He is waaayy out of my league.. Plus he has a zillion other potential gfs who're waiting in line..

Im just going to lay low.. wait for this annoying feeling to pass by.. I cant wait for life as i knew it to be to resume.. :/

My ayyah..

My ayyah.. a scrawny olive oyl lookalike softspoken lady..

As part of my photography portfolia's news feauture the topic i had chosen was the Little Mount Church..

More as rocky prominence than a mount, it is known as Chinnamalai to the locals.. here the Apostle Thomas chose a tiny cave as his home and led a spartan life, often praying on the top of the hill and preaching to the crowds..

A flight of 160 steps leads up to the summit of St. Thomas Mount.. It
is here that his pursuers caught St. Thomas when he fled Little Mount.. And it was here that they killed him..

So my ayyah accompanied me to the church.. she knows the priest well so just in case i need permission to use my camera she could talk to him.. plus she is a relegious church goer.. so she knows all the nooks and crannies of the church well..

It was a fun half an hour.. i followed my ayyah like mary's little lamb clicking away.. I felt very important..like a reporter on an important assignment..

The sights i saw was truely a treat for the eyes.. i had lived near this church for 8 years straight and i had'nt known of it's existance uptil now..

After i'd finished taking all the snaps i'd wanted.. my ayyah grinned and said "yein veedu pakkatilu irreken.. veriya..?" for which i nodded my head.. so she grinned again.. and motioned for me to bring my bike..

So with her walkin ahead and me driving at 2kmph right behind her we reached a street.. I left my bike on the street and followed her through a narrow passage and then a flight of stairs leading to a tiny room..

She vanished for exactly 2 seconds and came back with 2 icecreams in her hand.. She offered me one which i licked away with a feeling of guilt.. I kept thinking.. "damn.. she has other expenses.. i shudnt have let her buy this for me"..

I tried conversing with her in my broken tamil.. We had a 15 minute conversation during which time she showed me sarees my folks had given her, rent of the room and various other things which i could'nt understand.. so i just nodded and grinned along..

After i was done with the icecream.. she brought a bowl.. made me drop the icecream wrapper in the bowl.. and she poured water over my hands keeping the bowl underneath as a makeshift wash basin.. By now i had tears welling in my eyes.. I was being treated like royalty..

Finally she said.. "pollama..?" and we walked out of the room.. she insisted on dropping me back home.. so she plonked herself on my bike once again.. I drove upto the mainroad and i said.. "thankyou ayya.." she got off the bike and dropped a second packet of icecream into my bike's front pocket.. grinned and walked away..

I reached home.. walked into my bedroom and then compared the size of ayyah's house to my bedroom's and i realized i'd taken so many things for granted..

Life's been really kind to me.. And i vow to myself.. I will stop fretting over petty issues.. and i will start appreciating the small things in life a little more..

I miss u..

Twas a whirl wind affair,
It ended as soon as it had begun,

Although it was brief.. i gave you my all,
You were like a thunder before the storm,

I came alive when you were around and i'd fade wen you were away,
You completed me somehow, we seemed right..

I wished i could stay in these moments forever.. giving in to this sweet surrender..

When you left my world came colliding around me,
I was incomplete once again, a part of me died..

All that remains now are a few pictures of you etched to my brain and tis blinding pain in my chest..

Im moving on.. I have moved on.. I have met people.. But none of them are you..

I will miss u.. I will never be the same again.. A part of me will remain with you.. always..

Essense of the above.. People who walk into your life for a very brief period of time always leave an impact.. An impact which will alter your course of life forever..

People..

People.. they work in strange unpredictable mysterious ways..

Sometimes we affect people's lives and we dont realize it..

Its a good feeling.. Hearing people say nice things about you always gives you a kick.. Makes you feel special, loved, accepted, cared for..

In the words of some famous person.. "When you die and loads of people come to your funeral that proves you have lead a meaningful fruitful life.."

Hopefully tons of people would come for my funeral as well.. and its more of a "celebration of Gayatri's life" rather than a gloomy mourning affair..

To all those people who love me and have nice things to say about me.. aww.. i love u too.. *grin grin*

My friend's got a girlfriend and he hates that bitch..

Why do people choose to be with morons who treat them like dirt..?

Smart wise witty intelligent people.. turn into whiney crybabies the minute they latch on to someone..

And if you try and din sense into their heads with sentences like..
"you're too good for him/her"..
"why are u with tis jerk..? freeya vidu pa.. there are other fish in the sea.."
"why are you doing this to yourself"
"you've changed ever since you met tis asshole.. you're not the same fun person i knew once upon a time"

The response i get is.. "i love him/her.. its all worth it.. you wont understand.. relationships are all about giving and taking.. life aint a bed of roses.. when the boat of life hits some rough sea you have to steer it safely back to habour"

whew.. cut the crap..! what boat..? what life..?

being tortured day in and day out.. crying.. puffy eyes.. reporting to your respective "partner" of your every move.. eating like a bird to look all nice and pretty to impress your partner..

Naansense..!!

Live your life by the rules you lay for yourself.. dont live your life under the domination/command of anyone..!

I'm not exactly on top of the world.. but heck.. my sanity is intact.. my peace of mind is intact and i have a sound sleep every night.. Why..? Because im single..! Im a free bird.. I dont have a care in the world.. And i try not to think too much about my shitty past..

Wise men say only fools rush in.. But i cant help falling in love with u..

"Louwe".. Music, colours, head rush, glowing skin, sighing, day dreaming..

And then reality hits.. *screeching of tyres on the road* :p

I recently saw this new Kamal flick.. Vettayadu Vellayadu.. which actually reconfirmed and made me doubly sure that being single is wise.. very wise.. brr..

So the story is about these 2 demented twisted in the head boys.. they're medical students.. and they go around raping women, then they use surgical instruments to dissect,cut and do really grose yucky things in general with the body of the girl and wen she's dead they bury her..

After the first half of the movie got over i was peeing in my pants.. i was shit scared.. i clung on to all my friends.. kept holding their hands.. could'nt look at even one guy straight on his face..

I kept thinking in the lines of.. what if im being watched by the eyes of a rapist right now.. what if some guy is looking at me and saying to himself.. hey thats a fine piece of ass.. brr.. :/

The faces of those dead girls kept haunting me.. i recalled all the times i'd gone out alone.. stayed out late at night.. met onliners who i barely knew.. and i kicked myself internally.. what if something happened.. oh god.. oh dear god.. :(

In the 2nd half of the movie.. when Kamal killed the bad guys.. i was screaming in my seat.. "die bitch.. die"..

And after the movie got over i swore to myself.. NEVER again will i go to lonely deserted dark roads.. NEVER again go anywhere without telling at least a zillion people.. just in case i get raped or murdered or both.. sob.. :(

Thermal And A Quarter..

Caught these guys live last night..

A 4 member band comprising a drummer, bassist,vocalist cum lead guitarist and rhythm guitarist..

They played a lot of their original compositions,2 dire straits covers, hendrix, rhcp, mr.big..

Their originals were absolutely amazing..

The vocalist had amazing stage presense.. witty,humourous,awesome voice of course and a nice pearly white toothy grin right out of a colgate advertisement..

The drummer was kickass.. the raw energy and the power.. i cud feel it..

The crowd was sad.. really sad.. didnt do justice to the band @ all.. Madras Gymkhana Club.. the prim and proper folks of uber society.. :/ they just sat stunned for each song they played.. very feeble clapping and cheering at the end of each one of their songs.. And at one point when d vocalist asked them to sing along.. no one responded.. :( *sob*

I wished at that moment i had the ability to multiply.. I wished there were a 100 me s on the ground..

After about 2 hours the vocalist announced they'd take a 15 minute break.. I took the oppurtunity to run upto him and request him for a Deep Purple song.. for which he replied.. "we dont play deep purple covers.. sorry" and he flashed that cute grin again.. Sigh.. I think im in love.. :p

And then corny hindi music was played for which the crowd grew wild.. and i sat impatiently waiting for the band to start up again.. but my waitin was in vain.. after about 20 mins they came on stage and started dismantling all the equipment.. :(

Qwickys, Nungumbakkam..

A place i called my 2nd home.. it wasnt merely a "coffee pub" for my school gang.. it was much much more than that.. The memories, the hours spent there.. its all a blur now to be very honest.. It seems like a million years ago since the gang and i hung out..

My gang mates have changed, the faces are different and the places we go to now are different as well..

Today.. after about 4 years plus my present gang and i went to Pizza Hut,Nungumbakkam.. (the same complex as Qwickys)

The first thing i did as soon as i parked my bike was to run to Qwickys.. It was closed down.. Shutters were pulled down.. and an "entry restricted" board was placed outside.. I felt a little lump rise in my throat.. Random thoughts rushed into my head.. The decor, the tiny cozy little nook, the bar stools, the smell of coffee, my school gang,the huge TV set,Arun.. Arun.. Arun..

Arun.. he was a waiter in Qwickys.. and i was a mean insensitive cruel bitchy school kid..

Ive done tons of ridiculous things in school and Arun was.. well.. sweet,sensitive,caring.. Allrite.. maybe im overdoing it a little now..

In a nutshell.. I just followed my whims.. I gave him hot and cold signs.. And just when we were beginning to get to know each other well.. i cut him out.. changed my number, ignored him completely each time i went to Qwickys..

Now.. fast forwarding to the present.. history repeated itself.. in the most nastiest way possible..

Someone who i got close to in the recent past is giving me the same cold treatment i showered Arun with 4 years back..

To all those people who ive hurt in the past.. Im sorry.. I truely am..

I wish i could go back in time and undo all the things ive done.. Someone please invent a time machine for crissake..! :/

Hitch..

I saw the flick for the umpteenth time last night on HBO.. i dont think ill ever really get sick of watching it.. It is a little realistic.. the added bonus of Will Smith.. plus all the catchy one liners and the smooth talking..

Always leaves me with a good feeling.. Gives me hope really.. Hope that maybe.. just maybe.. i wont wind up as a cranky spinster in a room full of cats..

Alex ‘Hitch’ Hitchens, a guy who knows how to make a good first impression and who’s willing to teach men the ropes – for a price.. As New York's 'date doctor', Hitch helps hopeless men hook up with the women of their dreams.. Setting up a geeky dude seeking love from a beautiful stranger is more than a job for Hitch, it’s an adventure..

Love is a word quite non-existant in the vocabulary of most folks nowadays.. and i dont blame them.. its a fast paced world of meeting deadlines and cut throat competition and slogging your ass off or else someone else would steal your job.. too many people and too little jobs.. so most folks just want flings.. non messy, non complicated, no heatburns.. its a mutual understanding of wham bham thankyou m'am..

I think the world needs to be saved.. by Mr. Hitch.. We all need to love some more.. We all have to open up some more.. We have to give people second chances.. forget and forgive.. Get in touch with old friends.. People who at one point of time meant the world to us..

Forget the past.. Move on.. Dont look back.. Make a fresh start..

I quote in the words of Hitch.. "Life aint about the moments that u breathe in.. Its about the number of moments that take your breath away"

Flashes..

Flashes.. teasers from my brain.. things from my past which are rewound and played over and over.. tormenting me..

When things go horribly wrong.. we move on.. somehow.. with all the courage we can muster.. But somewhere down the "healing process" lane.. we get these flashes..

Really small things.. like a Superman Returns hoarding,missed calls on my phone,a funny malayalam movie,the terrace,my guitar..

All of a sudden my determination and focus.. namely.. to move on.. crumbles.. I relive the past once again.. and after im done.. i sob hysterically for exactly 4 minutes or less and then i go numb.. Motions happen around me.. and i just get sucked into it.. i mindlessly play along with the mundane activities of the day..

I was watching this old mohanlal flick today.. "gandharvam".. and at some point.. watching the love story unfold.. i started getting one of those horrible flashes again..

The happily ever after ending somehow happens only in the movies..girl loves boy, boy loves girl.. and they wind up together with a baby..

In real life.. girl flips for boy and boy runs miles away.. girl tries to move on with her life.. trying hard to erase the memories..

The silver lining in my cloud..

Today was a nasty horrible affair.. I wish it never happened..

I have my internal exams going on.. Today was my last paper.. Photography.. And i mugged every goddamn detail in those horrible lookin xerox papers..

I drove wid a smile.. Happy.. Content.. About nothing in particular really.. I wave at a child on a bike.. I soak up the hot burning sun with a feeling of "aah.. im in heaven".. I observe the jammed roads and think to myself.. "sheesh.. chennai roads.."

I finally reach college.. walk upto my exam hall.. its empty.. no sign of any of my friends.. puzzled.. i walk upto my class.. and i noticed they were all writing.. stumped..

i walk upto d invigulator and i say.. "m'am isnt d exam supposed to start @ 12..?" she says.. "they're almost about to finish.. why dont u go to the deparrtment and talk to your prof"

so i stride up confidently to d deptt and i tell her.. "m'am.. i presumed the paper was @ 12.. can i write now..?"

she says.. "i made an announcemnent yesterday that it was @ 10.. and u're walking in right now..?" and she walks away..

I begin to panic.. i spot my class teacher and i tell her my tale of woe.. she smirks.. gets up.. walks out.. i follow her like a puppy with her tail behind her leg.. she talks to my photography prof.. i hear snippets of the conversation..

class teacher walks back towards me.. "u'll have to take the permission of the HOD"..

so for the next 20 minutes i pace up and down the college tryin to get a glimpse of my HOD..

Finally.. i see her.. i walk upto her and i tell her yada yada yada..

She says.. "allright.. go back up.. a new question paper shall be given to u.."

I walk back upto my deptt.. i spot my photography prof.. she says.. "im sorry Gayatri.. but we cant have an exam just for 1 student.."

Dejected.. the dam bursts open.. I sob hysterically.. I know its no big deal.. its just the internals.. these marks are not goin to help me clear this semester.. but the tears kept rolling.. i looked around.. none of my friends were around to console me.. give me a hug.. maybe a bitch a little about the nasty photography prof..

I felt a hand on my shoulder.. i looked up into the eyes of concern..

Gurl in white :what happened..
Me: i sob missed sob my paper.. waaahhhhhhh..
Gurl: which deppt..? wich year..?
Me: electronic media.. 2nd..
Gurl: did u talk to your prof..? maybe they will let u write
Me: i sob just spoke to her.. waaahhhhh.. they said i cant write it now.. sob sniff
Gurl: Oh im so sorry

I walk down.. She follows me..

Gurl: wait wait.. where do u stay..? shall i drop u somewhere..?
Me: u dont even know me.. waahhhhh.. sob..
Gurl:(smiles)so what..? u dont need to know someone to help someone

I spot my HOD.. "im really sorry gayatri.. we cant let u write this paper.. "

Meanwhile my gurl in white walks away..

Me: Sob.. Okie m'am..

I turn around.. she was missing.. she just vanished into thin air..

I walk back to the parking lot.. Starting up my bike with elephant tears still rolling down my cheecks..

I scan the roads.. I wanted to catch a glimpse of my White Gurl.. Her presence somehow soothed me,calmed my jittery nerves, her voice ran in my brain like a balm..

I dont even know her name.. Who was she..?

All through my ride back home i kept thinking.. None of my friends were around in my time of need.. I was all alone.. except for this stranger..

This incident made me realise.. The people we care about a lot in this world may not be around after all.. Maybe i am all alone.. Maybe i have no one to fall back on afterall..

I miss the influence of certain people in my life.. And after i reached home.. i called those people up.. One just cut the call.. And the other didnt bother to pick up even..

When shit happens.. we have to clear the mess on our own.. No one has the time to listen to u whining..

Girl in white.. thank you from the bottom of my heart.. whoever u are.. God bless u..

Practise School..

A unique learning experience offered to Electronic Media grads during their 2nd year of college.. Manning the college radio station.. MOP FM 91.2

Or in other words.. our personal hell.. once u start working there's no looking bak for the next 1 week..

Scrutinizing radio scripts, rjying,recording.. oh yea.. it sounds like major fun.. but the truth is.. its a lot of work.. Getting up @ ungodly hours in the mornin.. turning on the transmittor.. sitting idly for 1 whole hour waiting for the show to get over.. going bak to the studio.. start the day's work which includes packaging, coming up with witty one liners, rectifying the errors of previously recorded shows.. which means u keep rewinding and fastforwarding.. listening to the same thing over and over again till all the mistakes are erased..

And the icing to the cake Mr. Tiru.. the man in charge.. once he starts talking god help us.. We yawn, we look away, we fidget with our mobile phones to give him hints saying.. "dude.. stop talking..! stop talkin NOW or i swear i'll pull your undies over your head"..

But all our efforts are wasted.. Tiru goes on and on like no man's business.. I bet with all the heat and wind energy that's produced by his flapping lips a whole 3rd world nation could be supplied with electricity..

All in all.. an experience that's sure to make healthy fit sane homosapiens go completely beserk and transform them to zombies..

Human Relationships..

Funny 2 words..

One minute u're very close to someone and the next u dont want to talk to each other anymore..

It stings like mad when u know that someone you get along real well with and u let your emotions run wild.. does not reciprocate your feelings..

But what can we do..? Nothing.. Just let it go.. We dont have the power to mess with free will..

Each experience is a learning experience goes the age old saying.. But too much experience is not a very good thing now is it..?

How long can we take the pain..? How much longer can we twist our brain into believing that we're bound to be happy someday.. We just might bump into someone amazing..

Lets face it.. Some of us are cupid's favourites and some of us are not..

I can see it now.. "Gayatri Bhadran, Spinster, 1987-2050"

Ive gone back into that black hole again.. Im falling.. down down down..

My Givson..

I started playing chords.. FINALLY..! :D

I feel very mature and grown up now.. All my guitar lessons to date seem to fade out in comparison to the class I had last week..

The feeling of holding the polished instrument.. Holding 2-3 strings at the same time.. Playin chords and bar chords.. Strummin away with my strummer on the other hand.. Oh the pain.. Oh the joy..!

I’m making music..!!

One chord fades out to another and another and another..

I feel invincible.. My guitar and I make a great team.. :p

Writer’s block

I have been wanting to blog about Memoirs Of A Geisha.. a movin tale of the life of a Geisha woman.. It really hit some nerves.. and I did shed a few tears..

I have also been wanting to blog about my trip to bangalore where I saw the complete transformation of my chammatu pavam older sister into a frenzied shopping bitch..

But the words have run dry.. Nothing seems to inspire me enough anymore to sit down and blog..

I have changed..

I had left chennai for 1 month.. I had gone to my native town.. Trivandrum.. and when I returned I noticed a lot of changes..

Some of my closest friends for instance fell in love.. and suddenly I felt like an older unmarried 30 year old being critically scrutinized by smug married couples..

“so tell me gayatri.. why is that fine physical specimens like you have still not found a guy..”
and

“I’m sorry.. u cant expect me to dump my girlfriend for u to catch gigs in the city anymore, u will have to bring along another friend” and

“I think u should start expanding your social circle a wee bit more old girl.. your guy is just around the corner.. but u will have to take the initiative to bump into him”

Is this the mating season..? If so, I need to be on a different planet.. I choose to remain single,happy and carefree..

Now let me boil down to the essense of this blog.. I think I did have a soft corner for someone.. it could’nt have been love.. too soon to think in those lines.. but I did get very close to him in a very short span of time.. he was like a drug.. I could’nt seem to get enough of him.. as the day ended I waited for the next day and the next and the next just to be around him..

He was a complete stranger to me for about 3 whole months.. I didn’t think much of him.. the typical “die u bugs” im a kick ass guitarist from a kick ass band attitude seemed to be oozing from him.. and plus.. he was a mallu.. all the more reason for me to ignore the twirp..

A week before I left for my native place.. I sent him a funny offline sumthing in the lines of “so catch u on the streets of tvm matey.. ill be there for 1 whole month”

He replied to this with his number.. I was a little surprised considering the fact we barely knew each other..

I called him a week after I had settled in.. our phone conversations didn’t go too well either.. We just did not seem to click one bit..

But a week before I was to return to chennai.. he declared he would come home.. “are u sure” I asked.. “do u really want to take the pains of coming all the way to meet a complete stranger..? plus u would be interrogated by my crazy family.. so think about it”..

His response was “im good with families.. im sure ill be pretty comfortable and yes.. I do want to see u”

So 3 hours later.. I see a wiry scrawny guy with a smile brighter than surya bulb’s standing outside my gate..

And so we sit around jabbering and playin the guitar.. Time seemed to fly by and I didn’t notice..

When it was time for him to leave.. I thought.. “hmm.. nice guy.. I made a huge error of character judgement..”

Out loud I said.. “thanks for coming mate.. this was fun”

He responded.. “im free tommorow as well..” He left the sentence dangling in mid-air..

I gushed “Oh yaay..” Exactly what he expected to hear..

And so we meet like that a couple more times.. each time I got a little bit more anxious to see him,to talk to him,to get to know him better..

The last day we meet was pretty painful.. I’m lousy with goodbyes.. so when he said.. “ill miss u babe”.. I said.. “yes yes.. me too,u too,oh sheesh.. just leave already”.. :/

And that was that.. the maxim “geography gets in the way of history and ruins chemistry” followed suit..

Sure we did chat online, talk on the fone.. But I know.. its over.. Whatever it was..

He’ll move on with his life, forgetting every detail I mentioned above..

I’ll mope over it for a couple more days.. Remembering all the details.. The lines on his face, the tone of his voice, that smile, the mallu slang, the smell of his deo..

Time heals they say.. well Mr. Time.. I’m waiting.. heal me..