Tsunamis, T-Rexes, and Psychological Warfare: Chronicles of a Tired Mommy

Hell hath no fury like a mommy scorned, and I scorn 10,000 times and more a day because I’ve given birth to a tiny Dennis the Menace. He creates tsunami waves in the shower by standing there endlessly and using the bathroom mop to splash water everywhere—but only after trapping it first by covering the drain. He snatches my mobile phone away from me midway through my writing (like right now), and lastly, he litters all over the house like a little mouse. His explanation for all of this is, 'I’m just a small child. Do you even love me? Why did you make me?' Sigh. 

Children and their crimes, followed by their puppy-dog faces and whimpering. It’s a mad juggle transforming from calm mommy mode to T-Rex mode. Who are these parents practicing gentle parenting anyway? I’d love to meet them. Are their children actually gentle? Do they never scream or give an occasional swat on the bum? How does that whole thing work exactly? Because my child and I are far from gentle.

It’s madness in the Riaan household from 6 a.m. to 9 p.m. That is one crazy long shift with zero breaks for me, because school hours overlap with my work hours, and post-school hours are spent catching up on homework while still juggling work tasks. I'm ready to give up any minute now. But here’s the joke: we apparently can’t, because we gave birth to them. And if they aren't smart enough, we’ll end up babysitting their kids as well. Omg! I’m ready to run now.

I'm looking at flights to book myself a trip to Ogygia—the same mythical island where Odysseus was held prisoner by the beautiful nymph goddess, Calypso. I am fully ready to have a nymph goddess fall in love with me and make me her immortal partner. Any nymph goddess or god reading this? 

Tired mommy of a very naughty little boy, out!"