Three Years

Three years since you've been gone,

Strangely life went on,

That's who I've become now - strange,

My moods have quite a range,

I'm happy and sad,

Glad and mad,

I didn't shed a single teardrop today,

Instead, I shooed them all, away,

I walked like a zombie,

And stayed awake in bed like a zombie,

December 6th, what a terrible day,

Thankfully, it's not here to stay,

One life of mine ended today,

My mind is a disarray,

Everything is a mess and it isn't,

I rearranged all the broken pieces with precision,

It's almost as if nothing shattered,

And my soul isn't battered,

I'll live and I'll love,

Even if I'm pushed and shoved,

This is me,

Rising above the debris,

All day,

Everyday. 

Kunafa Cake

Crisp on the outside,

Gooey on the inside,

Dubai's viral pistachio kunafa cake,

Causes quite a shake,

Inside your mouth and belly,

Your soul suddenly feels far from empty,

Like you waited all your life,

To have that cake, instantaneously wiping away all your strife,

Be Dubai's viral pistachio kunafa cake,

It's sure to keep early sleepers awake,

You crave for it, long after you've brushed your teeth,

You constantly dream of what lies underneath,

Layer after layer,

Made for him and her,

This cake is for everyone,

One bite and you'll share it with no one.

My Dearest Poopie

Someone asked me, why I'm still single,

I replied quickly, "I'm not in a rush to mingle,"

Had I met a man, who was half as nice as you,

I would feel less blue,

Someone called you my ex,

I almost hit him on the face with a chair, like a rabid T-Rex,

Someone asked me, if I'm still hung up on you,

"He was the love of my life" I replied, straight from the heart, truer than true,

While the concept of marriage is great,

I'm willing to wait,

For some version of you,

That still exists, from my point of you,

Until then, I'm happy to be single,

Reluctant to mingle.

Rocky Aur Rani

If you must love, love like Rocky,

If you want to be brash and cocky, 

Be as successful as Rani,

If you must create waves, be a Tsunami,

If you must be fearless,

Be fearless,

Like Rocky choosing Rani,

Every single day, whether it's rainy or balmy,

If you must eat mithai,

Eat so much boondi laddoo, that you can get a sugar high,

If you must get married,

Get married,

Next to a large ocean or lake,

Or at least next to a sprawling man-made lake,

Inside a palace,

Wear so much lace,

That you look like a vision,

Making kids envision,

Their wedding ensembles,

The entire event will be far from dull,

Just like Rocky aur Rani kii Prem Kahaani.

Reebee, the Baby

The greatest blessing of my life has been my son. He is my All India Radio, my 24*7 commentator and the disruptor of all my calm thoughts. The noise in my house from 5.45am is deafening. The minute his eyes open, his mouth opens too and it doesn't close until he finally falls asleep by 9.30 in the night.

He brings his semi round, googly-eyed face right upto mine and squeaks into my face, until I pay attention. "Why does Mumma hate me?" he hounds, the minute my eyes or head turn in the opposite direction.

Attention seeking and noisy, he's a human sponge. Quick to pick up conversations and chatter, his antenna ears are always tuned in on the adults of the house. 

Mostly calm, playing with his kinetic sand or slime, he sometimes gets into various modes of destruction, such as tearing up money or abruptly punching people on their bellies.

Cute and gentle looking on the outside, a typhoon from inside, his energy is boundless. Refuse a snack and he climbs the kitchen counters and opens the snack boxes himself. 

On rainy days, he zips around the house on his scooty. On other days, he is taken to his favourite play gym or Agasthya's house. Agasthya is his little best friend, who is as noisy as him. 

Riaan's brain is a minefield of imagination. "Can you grow another baby inside your tummy?"             "Do you know why airplanes have oval windows?" "Do you know why planes are shaped like a cylinder?" 

"Can you open the bonnet of my car?" and so on.

I had Riaan after six years of marriage. My life felt complete when he came along. It almost felt like I was born just to be a mother. "Let him live the way he wants and marry whoever he wants", was my late husband's first reaction when he saw my bond with my child. 

I can't imagine my life without a dusty kinetic sand filled house, a debris of toys and incessant baby chatter. Reebee short for Riaan baby, is my partner in crime for life. There is some method to his madness, I'm sure I'll eventually figure it out. I only have the rest of my life to crack this formula. 

The Elephant

My mind hoards memories,

Events tumble out in big fat paragraphs and not mere summaries,

The good, the bad, the evil,

My mind's an angel and a devil,

I forget nothing,

I feel everything,

Is this a blessing or a curse,

To live in reverse,

I hold onto people and things,

Like they're precious stone filled rings,

Unable to truly move on,

I cling on,

To moments in time,

They stick to my mind like slime,

Gooey and difficult to scratch away,

But fling them I must and live in the today,

Nothing and no-one is dependable,

Self reliance is the answer, throw those memories away, they are expendable. 

Binge Eating

Too much Biriyani has been eaten,

The body is beaten,

There's too much acidity and gurgling,

From the pits of my tum, the mind is hurling,

Countless abuses at me,

Just let me be,

It's Chitti's birthday,

I promise to never eat like this ever again on another day,

But today the decadent cheesecake beckoned,

My mind, body and soul, didn't hesitate for a second,

I attacked that gooey delight,

Savouring bite after light bite,

Pausing only to see Singham's smiling face,

Which is when I decided to slow my pace,

Hardly paid attention to Shina,

Inside Ascendas food court which was as crowded as a market in China,

What a beautiful day has been had,

Too much food has been consumed which has made me slightly mad,

But it was all worth it, 

I'll go back to being fit,

Tomorrow, today is for burping,

And allowing my mind to continue slurping.

38

Happy 38th, my dearest poopie,

There's been no time for tears, moping around or being droopy, 

I've had to become you and me,

Despite all the debris,

There are brief moments of feeling overwhelmed,

But I quickly regain control of the helm,

I hope someone's throwing you a house party in heaven,

I've had the pleasure of throwing you a total of seven,

Those were crazy days and nights,

Today, my heart strangely feels light,

I feel peace,

A familiar ease,

It's your birthday,

I'll celebrate all day.

Thank You

Thank you for loving me whole and soul,

With all my quirks and moods, without a single eyeroll,

You took note of all my sadness,

And my happiness,

You took me seriously,

We loved each other deliriously,

In hindsight, what were we thinking,

We took every decision boldly without blinking,

We rocked each other's world's,

And witnessed things unfurl,

You're still not gone,

I feel you at the wake of every dawn,

You give me the strength to move on,

Even if there are moments I feel torn,

You are missed everyday,

Especially on special days,

The pain vibrates inside my chest,

Until I force myself to give it a rest,

Thank you for the love,

It still keeps me warm and cosy, like a familiar, well-worn glove. 

Happy Birthday in Heaven

Three years since you've been gone, but the mind-numbing pain and the intensity of that pain remains just the same. There's this deep, endless black pit that you left behind and I'm unable to fill it up.

The loneliness is intense, the grief is loud and my anger issues have probably hit through the ceiling and have gone all the way up, into the milky way galaxy.

I'm empty. The heaviness gets more profound on certain days. It sucks that you're not around on your birthday or mine. It sucks that I can't tell you important life changing decisions I've taken. 

I have people to laugh with and eat with and work with, but none of them are you. And I remember you, every single day. 

Tears do no justice to your absence. Instead, I want to break things and scream people down. Maybe I'll feel a little better then. I don't know. 

If I could go back in time and re-do everything, I know you'd probably still die, because you never listened to me anyway. 

Why? That's all I ask, even today. Why did you have to kill yourself with work? 

Blinding Lights

Riaan hugged the television screen last night,

And twirled on his toes, like he was about to take flight,

Can Baba be undead?

No, the dead remain dead,

Do you miss him?

No, I hated him,

He teased me too much,

So, I just wanted to give him a punch,

We quickly turned our sadness,

Into happiness,

By watching the rest of the song,

And we quietly sang along,

To The Weeknd,

Our favourite song, any given day of the week, especially the weekends,

As the music filled out cozy living room,

We quietly pulled ourselves out of our gloom.

Night and Day

Old my soul,

With one too many holes,

The noises in my head,

Won't stop even when it hits the bed,

Take me to a loud crowded place,

And I'm still in a daze,

The sadness in my heart worsens,

The tears I hold back begin to get fierce,

Noisy nights,

Remind me of all the flights,

You took straight to me,

The only spouse in the midst of an office party spree,

I was secretly embarrassed and proud,

That you made your presence loud,

You won over everyone's heart,

Just by being you, funny and smart,

You are missed, night and day,

Even your absence fills my life in every way,

Unsure how I even get out of bed, with you gone,

I see only darkness whether it's night or dawn. 

Venom

Eddie Brock and Venom share a bond,

That can't be explained in words to a generation that wants to don,

This role of commitment phobia,

Something long term and real bring them claustrophobia,

To you Venom would say, be a man,

And I would chime in, be a woman,

When a human and a symbiote,

Can stay afloat,

In an impossible relationship,

Dont give me this trip,

Of non-vulnerability, you can take a hike,

Someplace far far away with your nonsensical mic,

I'm all in or nothing, just like Eddie and Venom,

I've experienced crazy love, with zero space for soulless and numb,

I'm rooting for you Eddie and Venom,

Your bond is warm and cosy, just like my favourite pair of denims. 

Hi and Bye

To the man who loved me in life and death,

Long after there were no more breaths,

Thank you,

For being you,

Grumpy and difficult,

But never indifferent,

To showering me with brownies,

And attempting to wipe away my frownies,

We didn't get to say goodbye,

And I've become this person who flings around her byes,

Like loose change,

I'm able to sense when people turn strange,

And to them I say goodbye,

I was married to a great guy once, he's probably in the skies,

Be great,

I don't like to wait,

I have things to do,

Other than trying to fix your internal screws,

After abruptly losing the love of my life, 

My tolerance to strife,

Has gone to zero,

So be a hero,

Or step aside, 

And watch me walk away with pride.

Mad Mondays

Just one of those days,

When there's just too much haze,

The brain is exploding,

The stomach is ticking,

Should have eaten more,

To stop my heads' pounding roar,

Calls to catch,

Baby's swimming class to match,

A call coincidences with his class today,

I have to be in two places at the same time, today,

Miss the class, the boss at home is annoyed,

Miss the call and I'll not be met with joy,

The juggling is endless,

The tasks far from mindless,

There's always icecream,

For everything else, I'll let out an occasional scream.

Not Really Alone

Another year around the sun,

With my little bun,

No longer saying our,

For the finality of death solidifies with every passing hour,

What a pointless way to die,

We could never meet eye to eye,

When it came to conversations on your work,

I understand hard work,

It's all I've ever seen,

But you were always in a maniacal state of being,

Sleeping with your laptop,

The typing and the calls, non-stop,

I wondered why you worked that way,

What was the point of it all, anyway,

I'm three years older than you today,

While you continue to remain young with every passing day,

Strange this life, without you,

But I've grown accustomed to walking in both our shoes,

I'm a dad and a mom today,

And I suppose I wouldn't have it any other way,

Happy birthday in advance, my love,

I hope God throws you a fantastic bash up above.

The Rains

The rains, heavy and hard,

Similar to your feelings, cut up and charred,

The fat raindrops,

Remind you to wipe away your teardrops,

The invisible ones,

That you hold back for the world, but slips out in front of loved ones,

This gloomy weather,

Makes you realise you can storm any weather,

But there's a world of pain,

Similar to this heavy rain,

It will stop, both the rain,

And the pain,

The water always dries up,

There's always a reason to look up,

Chin up, stare at the skies,

Admire the clouds, misty and high,

Rains are only temporary,

The sun will soon be out, to dry away all your worries.

Travellers

The world is not a place you understand anymore,

People come, only to go,

Everything is temporary,

Less than ordinary,

Expect nothing,

Expectations only bring,

Disappointment and heartburn,

But I suppose this is how you learn,

About the ways of this empty world,

And it's empty people, count your blessings for you belong to a different world,

One where you've seen peace and love,

Anything less you must push away and shove,

It's not for you,

This world and it's empty people, it's not for you.

The Void

There is a void,

People want to avoid,

Getting in touch with their emotions,

They just want to go through the motions,

Without feeling or thought,

It's a nightmare to be caught,

In a situation void of love,

Just disallow,

And step back,

If you feel taken aback,

That's not you,

Never will be, you understand what the other person wants through and through,

Cut off, walk away,

It's alright if your mind feels disarray,

You want the once in a lifetime stuff,

Finding that today is tough,

But find it, you will,

Slowly and steadily, if you have the will.

Tired

You know that moment, when you're soul is tired,

Yet you're wired,

To step out there,

And portray to the world, that there's no wear and tear,

There's always chilli chicken,

Fat free icecream and Riaan, to make you feel brazen,

So you plough along,

With your tired soul and play along,

To the madness of the world,

While all you want to do is lock yourself up in a room and be unheard,

But this mouth of mine,

Makes people feel they're not on cloud nine,

Blunt, loud,

Politically incorrect and uncouth,

Unfortunately, this is me,

I'm caged yet free,

Please note, it's a Monday,

And I'm wishing it's a Sunday,

All my demons are out to play,

I'm not going to stop their play. 

Forgotten

Riaan no longer remembers you,

He swiped across a photo of you,

And asked who you were, 

My mind went into a blur,

I decided to let it slip,

As he continued to flip,

Across the photographs on my phone,

He looked at pictures and videos of his own,

Chuckling and giggling,

Calling himself cute, as he continued wriggling,

Next to me on bed,

I kissed him on his head,

With a sadness in my chest,

Your son has finally laid you to rest,

It's almost like you never existed for him,

He's pampered beyond recognition, all his whims,

Fulfilled, 

His life is filled,

With love and play,

His mind, a mouldable clay,

Forgetting you, 

Was perhaps his way of healing himself of you,

He's alright, our boy,

More mine now, than yours, he has a strong voice,

Opinionated and stubborn,

There are moments he gives me heartburn,

But he is alright, our boy,

Correction, my boy. 

Devyani

This woman gets me,

The gruesome, deep, dark, unhappy me,

I would've married her,

And had all her,

Three babies,

Riaan, Agasthya and Adithi, but our relationship is not a maybe,

There's love, 

There's a desire to plough,

Through every challenge,

Together we try and punch,

Each other's problems out,

We root for each other and shout,

My sister from another mother,

There's no bother,

That your sense of humor,

Doesn't pluck out and burn, like a nasty tumour,

You sort out my personal and professional life,

Like a loyal wife,

I love you,

My darling boo,

Let's get married in the next life.

My Darling Girl

It was on a Wednesday that I got you, 

Twenty two years in the making and I finally have you,

I'll limp for a week,

My right leg seems weak,

This burning on my skin,

Makes my heart spin,

Welcome home my darling girl,

You're a pearl,

On my skin,

We'll soon be twins,

Correction, two bodies with one soul,

I look to you to heal all the gaping holes,

In my life,

With love, luck, peace and a renewed zest for life,

I know you can do it,

Sort out everything, bit by bit,

With your Pixie dust,

Compassion and trust,

My little fairy on skin,

Let's get out into the world, conquer and grin. 

Morning Air

The crispness of the morning air,

Ruffles through your hair,

Church bells ring,

M.S Subbulakshmi sings,

The mosque prayers on the loud speakers,

Finally wakes up all the sleepers,

I'm awake, 

Wide awake,

The crisp air,

Is perfect for the skin and hair,

I'm tempted to step out for a walk,

Around my building block,

As the night gives way to dawn,

I stiffle my yawns,

Big day today,

I'm sure it's going to change my life in every way. 

Butter Chicken

Kerala porotta and butter chicken,

Is sure to make your heart weaken,

Sickness or good health,

There is no greater wealth,

Than drowning yourself in luscious butter chicken,

I feel my pulse quicken,

My mood brighten,

The knots in my heart loosen up and lighten,

There's no problem in the world that butter chicken can't solve,

I find my body pain dissolve,

Come fever, ill health,

Or even if you're in the pink of health,

Butter chicken is your friend for life,

Dont believe me, have a bite and experience the euphoric feeling of being alive,

Butter chicken, thank you for being born,

A couple of bites of you and I no longer feel forlorn. 

Embracing Widowhood

I was 34 with a 2 year old in toe, when my husband decided to pop off at work. Now, I had two options - cry about it until kingdom come or get my shit together and figure this out. I chose option #2 obviously, because I hate crying. 

In this three year period, I suddenly became the poster girl for death. All and sundry began to reach out to me over young dead people falling flat. I counselled them and then found myself taking a dig at my Bailey's.

Have I been able to shut down the darkness in my head, after three years? Nope. That was my husband and my life that went up in smoke. The darkness lives on, and I am the darkness. Picture a chatty, annoying Batman who asks too many questions. I am chatty Batman. Hello! Nice to meet you. 

To everyone experiencing death right now, there's no easy way to figure this out. Plunge yourself in the pain. Cry it out, eat it out, scream it out, break it out. There's no one size fits all, when it comes to curing grief. And there's no curing grief by the way. You'll always be grieving.

Your dead loved ones, will sneak up into your brain, when you least expect it. I cope with Bailey's - multiple flavours - Espresso, Caramel, Bailey's original and then there's low fat, sugar free icecream too. But nothing beats my Bailey's. 

I'm sane, most of the time. But when I'm not, I allow myself to just be. I let my cuckoo self out and allow her to cry and scream. Single parenting along with widowhood, is like taking a walk in the park - the Jurassic Park. My child roars louder than a T-Rex. 

But it's all good, I'm as happy as I can possibly be given the circumstances. Life is filled with decadent ada-pradhaman and play dates. I have a wonderful family and lovely girlfriends. What more could I possibly ask for?

Changes

As I stand on the threshold to another change,

The darkness in my head decides to take centerstage,

All alone again,

Just about to step into a brand new terrain,

You're not here, yet again,

As I stand to lose or gain, 

Anxiety and sadness fill my heart,

Perhaps I should drown myself in art,

Or eat an icecream,

To quickly dry up my tear-stream,

You're not listening anyway,

To the thoughts I mumble out everyday,

Another path, another adventure,

This life without you is definitely not a curse,

But the journey is bittersweet,

For I know we'll take a long time to meet,

My work has just begun,

Now is not the time to come undone,

Wish me luck and sprinkle some magic from up above,

My one true love. 

My Dearest Poopie

It was in that scene of Marcus dying,

I began crying,

The exact moment was when Captain Howard hugged Marcus in heaven and whispered, "It's not your time,"

That I burst into hysterical fits, 

No one hugged you and told you the same,

Instead you went straight up and nothing has ever been the same, 

I can still hear your laughter ringing in my ears,

And can smell your freshly brewed Espresso after all these years,

There's a vast ocean of emptiness,

An unerasable heaviness,

You're everywhere,

Yet nowhere,

As Marcus stuck out his naked bum,

And held onto his best chum,

I laughed and cried,

Knowing how much you would've loved watching the latest Bad Boys movie with me, 

My soulmate in heaven,

I'll find you in another life, afterall there are seven. 

My Little Boy

My little boy, is an adamant one,

He has a fever of 101,

Yet, he wants to go to his play gym,

I have to give in to his every whim,

The word NO,

Makes him throw his head back and roar,

He screams, he cries and he stomps his feet,

Along with racing his baby heart beat,

Short tempered and full of drama,

Everyone around him mutters, "Rama-Rama"

With a mind of his own,

He's on a league of his own,

A rebel without a cause,

His naughtiness has no pause,

I put up a fight,

With all my might,

I'm determined to convert this monkey,

Into a gentleman and not a toy hoarding junkie,

Wish me luck,

And the strength to make many more bucks,

I'll need both to raise my boy wonder,

There's a lot to ponder,

Our work has just begun,

But we'll do it together, as a team of one.

Three

Three years since you've been physically gone,

Your memories still live on,

I miss our late night drives,

Those are chapters from our life, which I've mentally archived,

You knew me, like the back of your hand,

For most of our fights, you took a stand,

Gaajar halwa or Theobroma brownies,

Instantly took away my frownies,

I'm eyeing a Minnie Mouse ring watch now,

Which I know you would've picked up for me, had you been alive,

I miss you quietly and loudly,

I mourn you proudly,

Happy to have met you,

Blessed to have been married to you, 

I'm mostly okay,

 I've mastered how to push the pain away. 

Srinagar Colony

Three decades of being a resident,

Long enough to watch dad getting involved with the colony president,

He is an active member of the colony happenings,

A cozy, yet mildly happening,

Residential colony, for all ages across,

Everyone's a boss,

In Srinagar Colony,

Opinions are made and decisions are swayed, all inside the colony,

From the colony temple to the juice shop,

To every maid's mop,

Everyone is treated with dignity and respect,

In Srinagar Colony, including snakes, monkeys, cows, goats and dogs,

Every house vastly different from the other,

It's a colony like no other,

Sleepy at times,

Sometimes loud, for no reason or rhyme,

A minister being arrested,

A new idol being erected,

All this is enough and more,

For the colony to instantly wake up and mute their snores,

An amalgamation of old and new,

A walk inside Srinagar colony, will have you feeling anew. 

Home

Home, where the fridge is loaded with your favourite treats,

Right from sambar rice to every imaginable meat,

The kitchen always smells of ghee,

Filling your heart with glee,

One of the parents are always pottering around,

The clanging of snack boxes, a permanent sound,

You sleep your deepest sleeps,

As your parents quietly peep,

You find the strength to solve every problem,

Even if you hit rock bottom,

There's food and drink galore,

To make all your grievances fly away and soar,

By the end of the weekend,

Your mind is well rested, you're ready to blend,

Back into the weekly grind,

And the ready to face the world, that can sometimes be unkind,

But you've got this,

For the next weekend of bliss,

Is not too far away,

And home awaits, ready to melt your blues away.

Bullies

As my little boy gets bullied in school,

I tell him to be cool,

A slap for a slap,

Or a clap for a clap,

While non-violence is the way forward,

If the opponent is violent, there's no stepping backward,

Fight your fight and stand your ground,

I tell him to his little face that is semi-round,

He cries in response,

Saying this isn't what he wants,

So bullied he gets,

While I try not to fret,

I wonder who the parents are,

So that I can give them a slap for a slap, for my child's lifelong scar,

Bullies are horrid,

They have to be caught and reported,

I prefer the path of violence,

While my skinny cherub, prefers non violence,

Sigh!

Your Music

It was in the middle of listening to "The Weeknd,"

That my knees weakened,

"Why not listen to your songs?"

I thought,

I quickly searched for your bands on YouTube,

And began listening to it on loop,

Watching you in your element on stage,

Instantly took me back to a different age,

Your heart and soul, were always inside those concerts,

Watching you headbanging on stage, made my mind hurt,

How much grief I gave you for jamming over the weekends,

I instantly regretted those fights,

Can't stand to go to any concert now,

Because I know, I'll no longer bump into you there anymore. 

Empty

I am a void, a void is me,

There is debris,

That doesn't want to clear,

Instead it grows with every passing year,

My life is full,

Yet I feel a pull,

To everything dead,

My heart is no longer filled with dread,

Just acceptance, of a beautiful past,

And memories that are vast,

Three years since you've been gone,

I wonder if I am still in mourn, 

Perhaps I am, perhaps I'm not,

All I can feel are tight knots,

Inside my mind and chest,

The feeling doesn't go away even after a full night's rest.

Heal

"You've healed", said someone I recently met,

"Nope", I replied without too much of a fret,

I never healed, and that's my secret,

The fact that I've learnt to outwit,

My moody brain,

Is a skill I've learnt over time, I keep my emotions on a tight chain,

I break down so quietly,

No one hears it, the whole affair is done privately,

My pillows absorb my tears,

And the bawling falls on no one's ears,

I'm happy and sad,

Spend a day with me and you'll learn I'm quite mad,

Mad over a life that went by too quickly,

Glad that it happened even if I feel rickety,

Someday I'll be happy,

Until then I'll try not to be snappy,

No promises!

Sleep-Deprived Poopie

A glass of whiskey in hand,

He would tower over my sleeping frame and command,

Undivided attention at midnight,

The calls would begin by twilight,

"What do you want from the airport?",

"Toys for Riaan and food for you?"

As we'd drift into a delicious sleep,

He'd enter the house with a bag full of treats,

On our blue lounger he'd plonk,

With a glass of whiskey and smoke,

Exhausted beyond recognition,

Yet clear on his mission,

Stories of work and people,

He painted a rosy picture, while I sensed evil,

A couple of months later he was no more,

His whiskey bottles are probably in the store. 

Riaan's Eyelashes

A topic of discussion, as endless as his lashes,

"Ooh" and "aah" go the ladies, with mere flashes,

Of my baby boy's lashes,

The volume of clashes,

With the belief that women deserve thick curly lashes,

While boys end up in silly brawls and bike crashes,

"Who did you get such pretty lashes from? Mom or dad?", asked his hairdresser,

At that exact moment, I felt a tightening in my chest,

"His father has long been laid to rest",

Words that never escaped my mouth,

Instead I looked at my beautiful boy and his toothless mouth,

Grinning at me beatifically,

His tiny feet pattering,

At great speed towards me,

We belong to each other, that much I could guarantee,

As he enveloped me in a warm cuddle,

His freshly cut hair, reaching my tummy, we stood there in a quiet huddle,

My baby boy and his lashes,

Has everyone's heart in a tizzy, in mere flashes. 

Laddoos

Memories of golden fried laddoos,

Float in my head in panels divided by two,

On one panel, I see ammumma,

An image I instantly want to laminate,

On the other panel, I see her fluffy hands,

Vigorously churning the laddoos in ghee as it lands,

Inside the huge hot cauldron,

The laddoos all assembled for her like an edible squadron,

Inside the piping hot ghee,

All her grandkids looking at it in glee,

Waiting to gobble it up,

Like greedy little pups,

I miss those laddoos,

And the maker of those laddoos.

Love

Love, that elusive drug,

Which wraps our hearts in a warm hug,

There's no such thing as too much love,

It's not a feeling that you want to hide away or shove,

Love is a warm mug of hot chocolate,

It makes you less articulate,

You don't explain it,

Just feel it,

And you'll know when it's right, 

Upon first sight,

Lucky are those who've never fallen out of love, 

You've found yourself a precious treasure trove. 

Closure

You wonder why the living act like the dead,

Cold and unfeeling, almost like they have a heart that never bled,

There's nothing you can do,

But let them go,

You're not cold, 

Your heart is warm and your thoughts are old,

You're from a different world,

One that experienced love and watched it gorgeously unfurl,

There's magic in vulnerability,

It gives you stability,

So continue beating that warm heart of yours,

The right ones will gravitate towards your lure. 

Stree 2

"Vicky pleej" and crew are back. They're funnier than ever and this time they get to battle a meaner, bigger and more powerful demon whose past is closely linked to Stree.

The bumbling village idiots manage to vanquish the demon eventually with a little help from all things supernatural and Vicky of course or "Chanderi ka rakshak" as he's fondly referred to by the villagers. 

Love is at the core of both franchises. Mess someone's love life up and they will come back to haunt you and your entire families. 

So live your best life and fulfill all your heart's desires, or watch yourself turn into a bloodthirsty, happiness-sucking ghost with a grotesque-looking charred face. 

Doused with a generous dose of humour and a screechy demon, Stree 2 is an absolute must watch for lovers of horror-comedy.

Lizard Run

As the morning rains, pitter-pattered against my window,

My mind recalled my baby's crazy lizard chase and follow,

He kept at it vigorously with a feather duster,

My brave little 5 year old, with all the courage he could muster,

Witnessing his screechy mom,

He decided to chase the lizard with aplomb, 

"You shouldn't be scared of small animals mumma",

He said, like a baby alpha,

The mini-man of my house,

Engaged in a game of cat and mouse,

With the nasty little lizard, who had buried himself in my cupboard,

Not once did he shudder,

Or back down, from his lizard chase,

But it was a case,

That had no conclusion,

The search goes on for the elusive lizard whose absence fills our minds with confusion,

Is he still in the cupboard or not,

We'll never know, until he's caught,

A moment's applause now for my mighty tot,

For trying hard to chase away the lizard from every spot.

Feel All Your Feelings

I’m a big believer of this simple life mantra. Hold in your grief, trauma and insecurities and it will burst like a volcano all over yourself and others. Therefore, feel all your feelings. Just let it out. When my husband passed away close to three years ago, I didn’t feel all my feelings. Or maybe I did. I recall suppressing a lot of emotions, until one day I exploded and ultimately got hospitalized. That was my wake-up call to finally feel all my feelings.

It might sound absurd and ridiculous, but feeling all your feelings and letting it flow out like hot molten lava is the best thing to do if you want mental stability and peace of mind. Cry, when you want to cry. Scream, when you want to scream. Break things if you must. Channelizing helps to an extent, but ultimately, you’ve got to feel all your feelings.

The universe did you wrong, this should never have happened and you’re sad. So be sad. Cry yourself a river like Justin Timberlake rightly crooned. You’d think that spousal death at 34 with a 2-year-old to fend for is life’s biggest problem. I realized there was so much more ahead of me. I’ve become more hot-headed than ever; I snap faster than a twig and my patience and tolerance levels for stupidity have gone down to absolute zero.

Getting into a Zen-zone and turning into mini-Buddha is my next life goal. But for now, one day and one idiot at a time. Let people have it. The good ones get all my love and affection. The idiots get a solid bashing on their face or on their screens (depends on where they’ve reached out to me).

We’re all great people. God’s unique masterpieces. And no one in the world should make us feel like second best. Speak your mind. Be loud, inappropriate and get out there and do things you truly love. Ultimately everything will fall into place. If not, you’ll still figure it out because human beings are survivors at their very core. We generally pass every single litmus test in the world, statistically speaking.

Look at all the faffing I did up there and you believed it. As I said, speak your mind, even if it’s garbage. Someone’s garbage is another man’s gold.  So, keep being you, keep spewing garbage or gold, depending on who is listening, reading and watching.

Have a great weekend everyone!