A Husband-less House

A husband-less house is cleaner, less chaotic & peaceful. It's also lonelier, sadder & without purpose. There's no one to be mad at, no one to pick silly fights with, no one to clean up after & no one to advice 24*7 on the trivialities of life. 

A husband-less house is like Aladdin without his Genie, Vikram without Betaal & Batman without Robin. What a pointless existence that is. I wait patiently for Thursdays, sometimes Fridays for my Chhota Chetan to return - the key mischief maker & bringer of half eaten White Chocolate Red Velvet cakes.

This week, aforementioned Genie/Betaal/Chetan could not make it back home. He is stuck with office duties & might return only on late Saturday evening. My mood began to sink from Thursday evening as I opened the doors to my empty house, after yet another grinding day of work. And now that the weekend is upon me, I feel completely lost.

How in the world am I supposed to kill 24 hours, without my CEO (Chief Entertainment Officer)?

(Image Source : http://www.amazon.com/Always-right-Right-ceramic-coffee/dp/B00N0B1PSM) 

People in Power

My idol worship mode switches on automatically, like a reflex action the minute I see strong, confident, well established women walk into a room. They bring with them the knowledge, the experience, the wisecracks & the occasional wink in the middle of the most serious discussions. The winks especially flabbergast me! I suppose the cockiness/arrogance/confidence (whatever you would like to term it) comes with years of slaving away & finally reaching the top. I guess they deserve to wink, infact they earned that wink! 

Ideally, that many years of experience must bring with it humility & a quiet aura, but it doesn't. With the tiny handful of years of experience I've had in working with senior people, I can tell you they are anything but nice. They're impatient, they WILL slap you around if you blink like a goldfish BUT the feeling of being around them & working with them is intoxicating. 

You begin to wonder how many more years of chakki peesing you have to do, to reach their level. After a mere 5 years I feel like a dead duck. I wonder how & from where these folks on top get the enthusiasm & the willpower to go on & on & on & onnnnn. Bless them & bless their spirits. If only they could rub off a wee bit of that enthusiasm onto us already tired "young" folks. 

(Image Source : http://siliconharborcommunications.com/2014/09/29/many-women-pr-theyre-better-men/) 

This Song

This song! The most haunting, goosebump inducing melody I've heard in a long time. If this song doesn't inspire you or give you that pumped up feeling, I don't know what else will. In many ways, it represents the melody of life.

We are all dirt bikers caught in the rough terrain of life. Falling hard, getting up, kicking butt, crying a little in between all that because there is only so much a person can fight, there is only so much a person can put on a brave face. Sometimes those wins bring with it much heartbreak and joy at the same time. It's a strange feeling. 

There is beauty in imperfection, there is beauty in failing, there is beauty in just letting go sometimes. Each fall makes us stronger, each wound makes us more immune. 

Here's to us & to this never ending fight for those bittersweet victories. Here's to our lives full of contradictions and confusions. May we emerge stronger & wiser in the midst of this beautiful mess.  

Mary, there's just something about Mary

Each job brings with it new challenges, new joys & new bosses. Bosses - those people who can either make your work life a breeze or absolute hell! I've been fortunate enough to have worked under some amazing bosses (and some not so amazing ones!). Some leave a mark in your life, some you quickly forget, move on & pray that your paths never cross again. Mary has been the former. 

Mary - that breath of fresh air who came into my life when my personal & professional life were all up in the air. I was newly married, in an alien city, with a boy who was never home AND I had no clue about the PR industry in said city. The first few months under Mary were tough. She pushed all my buttons, dropped me in strange waters & cheered on furiously for me when I emerged victorious after each dicey situation. She soon became more than a boss & a mentor. She became my protector (not just mine, the entire team's), an older sister & my 911 caller. 

Unhappy with work? Call Mary. Unhappy with life? Call Mary. Unhappy in general? CALL MARY ALREADY! 

Mary's last day at work was an emotional one. I felt like a chapter had painfully closed in my life. I couldn't digest the fact that she would cease to be my amazing boss. Office without Mary around didn't feel like office. She created a happy home for all of us & stood by us through thick & thin. She pushed us to our brink & gave us the confidence to do better & bigger things. "You will always be my babies. I will always keep an eye on you & ensure that you do well in your respective careers, because you deserve it. You are all bright sparks in your own ways.", she said with tears in her eyes.

Mary - you've spoilt us all. You've raised our bars & set our expectations way too high for how our ideal bosses should be like. We haven't found a replacement for you & we never will. 

I hope I can grow up to be just like you someday & create a happy homely office, for a bunch of hopelessly lost kids, who grow up to be fighters & successful professionals. 

Two years down

We've been married for two years today. The dutiful man that my husband is, he sent me the customary red roses with chocolates to work. (We've NEVER gifted each other chocolates & roses prior to getting married). Last year it was a heart shaped chocolate cake with red roses & 7 days prior to our anniversary a bouquet of pink roses were promptly delivered to work, much to the wonder of my colleagues. 

"How can YOU be married to a rockstar?!"

"You're so uncool man, almost aunty like"

"You don't even like metal!"

"8 years you've been together? Bechara insaan!"

"You didn't send him anything on your anniversary for the past two years?! Haww!"

"God bless his soul for jheloying you for so long"

...have been some of the kinder remarks thrown my way. In my defence - I was a very cool person at 21 & I have personally handcrafted whacky yet meaningful gifts & couriered it to him year on year during the eve of our kiddie anniversary - 13th June 2008. (We have two anniversaries. One where we decided our fate & the other where society decided it for us). So I think it's safe to presume that I've earned these grown up displays of subdued affection in the form of roses & chocolates. 

"How does 2 years of marriage & 8 years of being with the same man feel like?" asked a colleague. "Lonely", I replied. "But why?", she questioned bewildered. "For 27 years of my life I've lead a cocooned life at home with daddy & mom dropping me to college, work, watching movies like a maniac & shopping endlessly. And from that being thrown into a city obsessed only with work, making money & surviving in the toughest of rat races came as a shock - without a husband around mind you. His work makes him travel outside the city everyday & we meet only on the weekends."

"So how do you cope?", she asked. "I've adapted. I've become a stronger, less mollycoddled person. I've become the husband & the wife in our relationship. I'm kind to my bais who cook & clean for me & I'm an absolute nightmare for our corrupt Gunda-like society treasurer who tried to pocket 20 grand of ours."

Marriage, in my opinion makes people tougher, patient & more open to a completely different viewpoint & perspective towards life. Some we absorb & some we stubbornly refuse to adapt. As for love, it changes over time. 

I'd prefer a clean house & helping out with some basic household chores to be more romantic than a candle-light dinner in an overpriced restaurant. I'd prefer giving each other space (in our case, space is aplenty!) as opposed to being in each other's faces 24*7.

Marriage - it's not for the faint hearted! Take the plunge only if you are ready. 

In conclusion, I end with a lame joke (because I'm too lazy to conclude this piece in a better manner) - Marriage is spending the rest of your life with someone you want to kill & not doing it because you'd miss them.