Sunday, December 24, 2006

My King..

You've taught me how to love
My heart, its yours now

The days of 'me' have come to an end
The days of 'us' have begun a long blissful journey

The past is a bad dream..
The future; uncertain

Let me tell you about my hopes and my dreams
Let me hold you close and whisper in your ears that you rock my world

If i were to die tommorow; know that i'm at peace..
Because you have given me the greatest gift in the world.. YOU

I love you my angel..
I love you more than life itself

Here i am on my knees asking for your forgiveness for all the times ive hurt you in my blind rage
I know you will treat me like a goddess tommorow because i see the patience with which u handle all my mood swings

You know me inside out..
I feel naked in front of your eyes

You know the real me and im glad..
The rest of the world does'nt matter

In your eyes im a queen and that is more than what i asked for

If Only..

I saw this flick an hour back on Star Movies and i HAD to blog rightaway. Its absolutely brilliant. I cried my heart out.. every MINISCULE detail of this movie is so perfect.

Its a MUST watch for all couples.. married couples, folks in live in
relationships. Ive decided the minute i get my hands on MY guy, i WILL make him buy this movie and ill force him to watch it at least once.

The story revolves around ONE DAY in the life of a young businessman
(Paul Nicholls) and his girlfriend (Jennifer Love Hewitt). They're deeply in love with each other,but the boy barely has any time to spend with his muscian girlfriend because of his busy schedule. He's a complete workaholic and his girl takes a very high second priority in his life.

She's exactly the opposite. She's carefree, brings joy wherever she goes, people love her, and she teaches little children the violen.

Her music and her guy are all that matters to her. She leaves her hometown just to be with him and she practises her music. She's a proffessional, a music student who has been playing the violen for 16 years and she's an amazing singer. So TODAY is the day she graduates from the prestigious music institution and gets her degree. So her guy comes to watch her perform but he's in a bad mood, so the day ends with them in a restaurant arguing with each
other and she walks out crying. She jumps into a cab and the guy stands on the pavement unsure what to do. The minute the cab pulls away he chases it screaming out her name. But the next minute another vehicle comes and rams hard into it and she dies.

The boy is heartbroken. He goes back home, looks at her diary, her violen box, and a song she had written for him. He grips the diary tightly on his chest and lies crumpled on bed heart broken and sobbing hysterically.

He wakes up the next morning and he hears her voice saying "Read one word from my diary and you're dead" He gets up with a start and is in complete shock to see her there. She tries to soothe him, telling him not to worry and that he's probably stressed out with work. So he decides not to tell her what happened the previous day and he tries his level best to make sure that YESTERDAY does not repeat itself TODAY. So he takes her out of London, to where he grew up
and he really opens out his heart to her. Appreciates her and treasures her like a woman should be treated by a man who loves her. And she thanks him for the PERFECT DAY.

Despite his best efforts though, he still notices that YESTERDAY is repeating itself again in a jumbled fashion. All the minute details repeats itself again.. like her hand burning, his friend hitting on a woman in a bar and the man in the cab.

But he decides to just go with the flow. He brings her flowers with a note that says.. "Someday is TODAY" meaning he wants her to sing her song. He always encouraged her to sing but she'd keep saying ill sing someday. Hence the note.

So at the end of the concert the entire orchestra starts playing her song and she's forced to go on stage and sing. The day ends with them in front of the cab and just before they get in he tells her that he loves her and that she taught him how to love. She smiles, kisses him and they get inside the cab together.

And like YESTERDAY the vehicle from the opposite side rams violently into the cab, but THIS time the boy takes the hit. He sheilds her and in the process she survives with a few cuts and bruises and HE dies.

The movie ends with her singing in front of an audience and climbing the hill, the place the boy grew up, the place where they spent a whole day in each others arms.

The MORAL I LEARNT from this movie is..
* Love your partner like there's no tommorow.
* Live in the PRESENT.
* RIGHT NOW is all that we have.
* Tell your partner how much u love him/her before its too late.
* Tell your partner how much he/she means to you and the differnce
he/she has brought to your life.
* Make them happy,they deserves it.. because THAT is the the very
LEAST we can do for them. :)

Saturday, December 23, 2006

The Long Hours..

Time ticks by slowly..
Each minute, a stab to my heart
The wait is agonising..
The pain; blinding

But WE are worth it
The pain is part of the ride..

You promised me the moon
I believe you..
You promised me all the food in the world
I believe you..

Trust, respect and love is all that i have for you
Then there's that pain again..
The insecurities and the wounds of the past hit me like a wave crashing againsts the rocks

Will i loose you..?
Does your heart still beat my name the long hours that we're apart..?
Does my face bring a smile on your face..?

I miss you.. I miss you terribly
Fill the void in my soul
Bring my empty broken heart to life again..

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Road Rage..

This is one post ive been wanting to type down every single day after i come back home from college, after battling the insane chennai traffic..

Women have been riding bikes and cars since i was a little kid.. maybe even much MUCH before that.. Then why is it that men try and act smart whenever they see women on bikes..?

They overtake you from a very very close angle of your bike.. despite the fact that the road is comparitively empty on the left and the right sides..

They honk just when you're about to take a turn WITH YOUR INDICATOR ON.. (point to note : They KNOW u're going to take a turn but THEY HAVE TO OVERTAKE ANYWAY..!)

So today.. on my way back home after an exam.. 2 smart alecs pulled the above stunts..

Smart Alec number 1

He overtook me even though the road was comparatively empty and came and halted right in front of me at a signal.. Now i am a speed lover.. i drive at 70kmph minimum.. (i drive a Scooty Pep,so.. YES 70 kmph is FAST)

So i pressed the brakes hard with my fingers with all the energy i could muster but the front of my baby hit his crappy bike with a huge THUD.. He turned around and gave me a look, i just said..
"Oh.. did i hit u..? im soo sorry.. Maybe you should learn a little road etiquettes and stick to one side of the road instead of going all over the place and overtaking folks.."

Smart Alec number 2

Now this guy pulled the honking stunt, i put on my indicator for a left turn to overtake the car in front of me and our man comes right behind me and honks his ugly loud ear drums breaking disgusting honk.. So i turned off the ignition and stopped right in front of him.. Turned around and said "what is your problem..? dont you see my right indicator on..?" and without bothering to wait for his reply i whizzed by..

The man didnt stop there, he followd me and continued honking.. So i figured; hell.. play fire with fire.. i kept looking at his car through my rear view mirrors and rode right in front him.. i did not allow him to overtake me..

MESSAGE TO MALE RIDERS : Respect women on the roads.. Dont you have mothers and sisters at home..? Would you like it if you knew that you're women are being treated like dirt on the roads..? Please think twice before you pull some stupid stunt..

Sunday, December 17, 2006

80 days..

This is it.. THIS is the real deal
This is the very first time in my life ive been in the presence of love so deep, love so pure..
Contentment and sheer bliss run through my veins

You came into my life when i least anticipated it.. like a thundershower in the heat of summer..
And now there is no turning back

When you are not around the hours are empty, meaningless and full of pain
And when you are around i'm complete, i become whole again..

I've lost control of my life.. YOU have taken over my senses completely..
You bleed me.. You heal me..
And im happy to go through the pleasure and the pain because you are the source of both..

My tears prove my loyalty and commitment to you
And my laughter reinforces the fact that i've never been more happier in my life..

Im a lovefool, i'm YOUR lovefool..
And i promise to be by your side, come what may..

My lucky charm.. i'm intoxicated by your wisdom, your maturity..
Knowing that those two beady eyes are looking only at me gives me a high
Knowing that those creative musical fingers will only run on me transports me on to 7th heaven..

Come take me away.. Lets get lost in ourselves and forget the real world..

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Disney Pixar’s CARS


So its been a while since I did a movie review, not because im no longer a movie buff.. its still 1vcd per day minimum.. and 4 on the weekends.. I stopped reviewing movies because nothing touched my heart all that much. I saw DON, Dhoom 2 and a whole pile of movies.. But all the flicks I saw just shocked or awed me.. Nothing seemed to hit all my mushy sensitive nerves..

Today I cozied myself up on my couch and turned on CARS ( I fought for buying the VCD in the shop) and the little debate over whether or not to buy the VCD was worth it.. I’m so glad my stubborn streak didn’t allow me to put it back on the rack..

The story revolves around race cars. The hero of the story a young hot shot rookie race car named Lightning Mc Queen is living life on the fast lane. He’s arrogant, he’s snooty, he’s self centered and all he cares about is money, fame and women.

Mc Queen competes with the 2 other champion cars and they all make it to the finish line at almost the same time.

So to win the prestigious Piston Cup the 3 cars have to race against each other exactly 1 week later in Los Angeles as a tie breaker round.

But on his way to Los Angeles he hits a detour and gets stranded in a sleepy little forgotten town named Radiator Springs. He wrecks up the Radio Springs highroad in an ensuing chase with the town’s Sheriff..

So as his punishment a young beautiful lady lawyer.. a Porsche named Sally suggests to the head of the town Doc Hudson that the boy pay his price and clean up the mess he created..

Mc Queen protests at first, he tries running away and pulls various other stunts but to no avail. So finally he tars the whole road and in the process he makes a whole lot of new friends, he falls in love, helps re-build the sleepy town back to their “hay days” and he discovers that Doc Hudson was a pro racer during his time..

The movies ends with the boy choosing his life.. Fame v/s a nice life filled with love and meaning.

A MUST watch for children AND adults.. Tears would be shed in the second half of the movie so keep the tissues ready.

In a nutshell a GREAT feel good movie.. Leaves u rejuvenated and light at heart..

Friday, December 01, 2006

The kid next door..

Ever since i can remember.. ive had a strong disliking for children.. I have my reasons.. Sure.. they're cute, they're adorable and they're tiny dots of homosapiens.. What's not to like some ask..

Well.. they bite, they puke, they pee on your lap, they tug at your beautiful junk jewellery and they stuff your hair into their tiny mouths..

Ive had plenty of tiny dot cousins and i have been victimised by them.. *sob* The whole tiny dot homosapien army are against me.. They hate me.. =(

But offlate ive suddenly begun to dislike them a little less.. There's a cute kid who lives next door.. She's probably a year or two.. She keeps screaming out to me and she runs towards me like a rocket each time she catches a glimpse of me..

So last evening.. She was standing at her doorway and my mom was standing at ours.. Mom kept calling out to her.. "aditi.. come" but she graciously shook her head from left to right.. So i gave it a shot.. The minute i called out to her she put one step forward and did a baby talk.. So i walked upto her doorway and i bent down to her height.. she gave me a broad 3 teeth grin and shook my hand.. Then she gurgled something and yanked my hair.. One mighty yank.. :/ For a dot of a homosapien she sure had might.. :/ i was shocked..

There it was again.. KIDS HATE ME..!! :(

Then her mom came running and unclawed her tiny animal like claws from my brown tresses..

She was not done yet.. She kept pulling at my hand leading me inside her house.. So her mom HAD to converse with me.. (Point to note here:Kids create situations you dont want to be in)

Her mother gave me a piece of chocolate cake.. (yaay..:D) and suddenly the kid yanking my hair didnt seem to matter too much..

I thanked her for the cake and began to walk out of the house.. The minute i did that the tiny animal came bounding behind me and continued yanking at my hand.. I didnt budge.. So she fell down and continued her yanking.. :p

Hearing the thud of her tiny tush i turned around and sat down next to her and i said.. "aditi variya..?" She continued gurgling.. So i stood up, checked to see if my cake was intact, gave her a wave and quickly made my exit..

Moral of the story : When that kid grows up to be say 4-5 years old.. she is going to come bounding into my room.. So i'd better start hiding stuff asap.. :/ :p

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Food for thought..

I tried hookah today for the very first time at Mocha.. I had gone along with a friend.. We tried their green apple flavoured hookah.. It was HORRIBLE.. i absolutely hated/loathed it..

After about 12 puffs of the eeyew tasting thing i wondered.. How do people do this shit..? If they wanted some sweet crap going down their throat they might as well go & drink some juice at fruit shop..

I lunged into my bag for my Wills pack and i puffed with
relief when the nicotine filled my lungs..

And right after I smoke I have the appetite of a horse.. I can eat absolutely ANYTHING that moves..

So to satisfy my bottomless pit we ordered a dessert called 'That Chocolate Thing'.. We waited impatiently for about 25 minutes before the waitress finally brought it on our table.. It was absolutely worth the wait.. It was lip smacking.. I cud not stop digging on the plate with the spoon until every drop of the chocolate sause had dried on it..

After about 5 minutes of staring at each other with glee and sheepish grinning, a thought struck me.. Places like Pizza Hut have offers like "Bottomless Pepsi" ie pay the price for 1 cup of pepsi but the glass is re-filled each time its empty.. and likewise "Topless Pizza".. ie pay the price for 1 pizza and eat a zillion.. *slurp*

So why cant Mocha also have an offer like that..? They can call it the "Plateless Sins" or "Plateless desserts" or well whatever.. they can give it a fancy name and we can pay for the price of 1 That Chocolate thing or 1 Choco Father or 1 Chocolate Avalanche or 1 Lava Lava.. and we can keep eating that particular dessert for which we have payed for, till our greed is extinguised.. Im sure chocolate lovers would all nod along with me..

Hmm.. Now THAT'S some food for thought.. Mocha admin/heads.. if u're reading this.. Please oh please.. Hear me out and consider this suggestion seriously.. I assure you I would LIVE in mocha if u guys have this offer..

Friday, November 17, 2006

The life of the ladybird..


So when i was little i had this habit of catching random ladybirds and putting them in a matchbox..

I loved the tiny red bug with the black dots.. I loved watching them run around in my matchbox.. but every now and then it would poop.. a golden-yellowey dot poop..

Now why am i going on and on about a ladybird you wonder..

Well.. I am the ladybird now.. We've swapped places apparently.. Now i'm the one who is running around peeing in my pants and the big box is college..

They say "What goes around comes around".. so so true..

The torturer has become the torturee.. Forgive me my ladybird friend..

Friday, November 03, 2006

Yet Another Ode To My Love

You inspire me to work hard & make a name for myself in this world..
And i promise i will not let u down..

I have immense respect for u..
And i place you in the highest position of my heart.. Where you rightfully belong..

Your maturity leaves me awestruck..
Many a time you have played the role of my guide,my advisor and my best friend..
You're trying your very best to lead me through the right path of life.. And i shall gladly follow..

You have turned my world upside down..
Life as i had known it to be ceazes to exist..

The shallow side of my personality is fading away little by little..
All thanks to you..

Each second of my life that i spend with you im falling more and more in love with you..

And i love this feeling..
This feeling of being your woman.. Till my very last breath..

Monday, October 30, 2006

My Trivandrum trip..

So 10 days back.. i packed my bags and set out to make my annual ritual trip to god's own country.. This time it was a little different.. i call it 'growing up'.. i learnt a few things.. i did a little bit of soul searching and this is what i came up with..

1. Too many shots of Irish Bailey a day can make u drowsy and would add on to the cms around your waist

2. Life without ciggaretes aint too bad.. I thought i was a nicotine addict.. 2-3 ciggies a day keeps me going.. But for the past 10 days ive been off it.. and ive survived.. so i suppose i can control the addiction

3. I learnt the value and essence of time.. for the past 10 days i was cut off from civilazation.. no internet connection, using my mobile was out of the question because as usual i was low on balance.. 63 paise to be exact.. And i realized.. I have to get in touch with people.. people i already know, old friends, exisiting friends.. and bump into newer people.. some more..

4. Old people, especially old relatives can get a little strange at times.. I find it hard to make conversation with someone who is 60 years older than me.. But if we dont make small talk.. we're labelled as "stuck up".. so talk about things in general.. Ask them about their health, because all old people have some disease or the other.. Talk about their children and their children's children.. They'll go on and on..

5. Temples are really boring places.. Standing in front of a closed door for 25 minutes is'nt exactly what i'd like to on a cold rainy day.. but heck.. i love my grandmother.. she's the best granny in the whole wide world and i'd do anythin for her..

6. Planes are mini-roller coaster rides.. for people who're afraid of heights and afraid of gettin on those crazy rides in those theme parks.. i'd recommend catchin a plane.. It really is fun.. The head rush when the plane takes off the runway and goes soaring up is something else.. And the view is absolutely breathtaking.. we live in a very beautiful world..

7. Uniformed pilots are hot.. *evil grin* somebody gift me that for my 20th birthday.. :p (which is coming up soon.. dont forget)

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

My Better Half..

My 20 years of waiting has not been in vain..
For i've finally caught hold of your hand..

I was a child lost in a crowd searching for her guardian angel..
And now i'm lost no more..

My joy has no bounds..
And there is this aching to be with you every second of my life..

My little chef, my little rockstar, my little baby boy..
Ive never been so much in love before..

I was a wounded soldier and my life was dull and grey..
You have joined the broken pieces of my heart and made me see colours again..

And now in return, I give you my life.. I give you my soul..

My better half.. I'd be nothing without you my love..

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Mmmm.. :)

Yesterday was a pretty ordinary day in my life.. Woke up,went about doing the mundane activities of the day,saw movies as usual..

I saw this one movie called "Undiscovered".. the life of a model who's going around with a musician.. But the guy's a jerk, keeps cheating on her and all that jazz, so she leaves and decides to pursue acting as a career in another state.. And now in that state she bumps into this incredibily down to earth, singing at an eat-out every night musician..

And eventually of course they hook up.. The reason i saw this movie was because i saw my own life unfolding out.. Except for the fact that i'm not a model and i still hv'nt bumped into an "incredibly down to earth blah blah musician" every other detail fits right into place..

Right after i saw this movie.. I got online.. I was really bored.. And when im really reaalllly bored.. I get into the "Chennai Global Chat rooms" just to have a good laugh, because the people in there are absolutely hilarious.. U hv to see it to believe it..

As soon as i stepped in.. I heard music.. good music for a change.. Guitar strumming and amazing sexy deep vocals for metal songs..!!
So i stuck around.. I commented on the mains every now and then.. Requested for songs.. Went on for about 20 minutes or so till the crowd started fighting for the mike.. And so the musician dude had to step down..

About 10 minutes later i was invited for a voice conferance with the musician dude, and 2 other people..

So the virtual 1 man army gig continued.. :) I sang along, cheered like mad, requested for songs..

But at some point of the conferencing the other 2 people slipped out.. So it was just me and him.. And we got talkin..

And we ended up talking all night long.. :p I was glued on to my system till 6.30 am today..

Sigh.. :) I have'nt felt this content in ages..

If he was'nt in the UAE i wud've definetely met up with him today.. :)

Monday, September 25, 2006

Crushes..

Those annoying phenomenons which occur once in a blue moon in our lives.. Grr..!

I was a very dumb kid.. growing up i did tons of stupid things.. Heck.. i probably still am dumb..

So there was this guy.. (one of my poems here titled "A 1000 knives" is about him).. I was 13-14 or so.. and he was a college fresher.. He was my first brush with the "long haired rocker dude" variety.. and i flipped.. i flipped hard.. And my 13 year old brain convinced me into believing that he was the ONE.. Oh joy..! *ZzZz*

Chubby, wannabe guitarist, nice curly long hair.. He seemed perfect.. My knight wid a shining guitar..

And i asked him out.. yessire.. i sure did.. and of course he turned me down.. And after that i lost touch with him.. I was embarressed and hurt.. I didnt want to make a fool of myself any further.. so it seemed like the wisest thing to do..

Now fastforwarding to the future.. i cant say history repeated itself because this new guy is NOT a long haired rocker dude.. He's NOT a guitarist.. Heck we dont share a darn thing in common.. come to think of it.. Grr..!

But whenever we're together i get all blushy and giggly and its annoying..! Grr..!

Ive decided not to do anything.. Why..? 2 reasons..

Number 1.. I dont want to make a fool of myself..
Number 2.. He is waaayy out of my league.. Plus he has a zillion other potential gfs who're waiting in line..

Im just going to lay low.. wait for this annoying feeling to pass by.. I cant wait for life as i knew it to be to resume.. :/

Friday, September 15, 2006

My ayyah..

My ayyah.. a scrawny olive oyl lookalike softspoken lady..

As part of my photography portfolia's news feauture the topic i had chosen was the Little Mount Church..

More as rocky prominence than a mount, it is known as Chinnamalai to the locals.. here the Apostle Thomas chose a tiny cave as his home and led a spartan life, often praying on the top of the hill and preaching to the crowds..

A flight of 160 steps leads up to the summit of St. Thomas Mount.. It
is here that his pursuers caught St. Thomas when he fled Little Mount.. And it was here that they killed him..

So my ayyah accompanied me to the church.. she knows the priest well so just in case i need permission to use my camera she could talk to him.. plus she is a relegious church goer.. so she knows all the nooks and crannies of the church well..

It was a fun half an hour.. i followed my ayyah like mary's little lamb clicking away.. I felt very important..like a reporter on an important assignment..

The sights i saw was truely a treat for the eyes.. i had lived near this church for 8 years straight and i had'nt known of it's existance uptil now..

After i'd finished taking all the snaps i'd wanted.. my ayyah grinned and said "yein veedu pakkatilu irreken.. veriya..?" for which i nodded my head.. so she grinned again.. and motioned for me to bring my bike..

So with her walkin ahead and me driving at 2kmph right behind her we reached a street.. I left my bike on the street and followed her through a narrow passage and then a flight of stairs leading to a tiny room..

She vanished for exactly 2 seconds and came back with 2 icecreams in her hand.. She offered me one which i licked away with a feeling of guilt.. I kept thinking.. "damn.. she has other expenses.. i shudnt have let her buy this for me"..

I tried conversing with her in my broken tamil.. We had a 15 minute conversation during which time she showed me sarees my folks had given her, rent of the room and various other things which i could'nt understand.. so i just nodded and grinned along..

After i was done with the icecream.. she brought a bowl.. made me drop the icecream wrapper in the bowl.. and she poured water over my hands keeping the bowl underneath as a makeshift wash basin.. By now i had tears welling in my eyes.. I was being treated like royalty..

Finally she said.. "pollama..?" and we walked out of the room.. she insisted on dropping me back home.. so she plonked herself on my bike once again.. I drove upto the mainroad and i said.. "thankyou ayya.." she got off the bike and dropped a second packet of icecream into my bike's front pocket.. grinned and walked away..

I reached home.. walked into my bedroom and then compared the size of ayyah's house to my bedroom's and i realized i'd taken so many things for granted..

Life's been really kind to me.. And i vow to myself.. I will stop fretting over petty issues.. and i will start appreciating the small things in life a little more..

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

I miss u..

Twas a whirl wind affair,
It ended as soon as it had begun,

Although it was brief.. i gave you my all,
You were like a thunder before the storm,

I came alive when you were around and i'd fade wen you were away,
You completed me somehow, we seemed right..

I wished i could stay in these moments forever.. giving in to this sweet surrender..

When you left my world came colliding around me,
I was incomplete once again, a part of me died..

All that remains now are a few pictures of you etched to my brain and tis blinding pain in my chest..

Im moving on.. I have moved on.. I have met people.. But none of them are you..

I will miss u.. I will never be the same again.. A part of me will remain with you.. always..

Essense of the above.. People who walk into your life for a very brief period of time always leave an impact.. An impact which will alter your course of life forever..

Saturday, September 09, 2006

People..

People.. they work in strange unpredictable mysterious ways..

Sometimes we affect people's lives and we dont realize it..

Its a good feeling.. Hearing people say nice things about you always gives you a kick.. Makes you feel special, loved, accepted, cared for..

In the words of some famous person.. "When you die and loads of people come to your funeral that proves you have lead a meaningful fruitful life.."

Hopefully tons of people would come for my funeral as well.. and its more of a "celebration of Gayatri's life" rather than a gloomy mourning affair..

To all those people who love me and have nice things to say about me.. aww.. i love u too.. *grin grin*

Friday, September 08, 2006

My friend's got a girlfriend and he hates that bitch..

Why do people choose to be with morons who treat them like dirt..?

Smart wise witty intelligent people.. turn into whiney crybabies the minute they latch on to someone..

And if you try and din sense into their heads with sentences like..
"you're too good for him/her"..
"why are u with tis jerk..? freeya vidu pa.. there are other fish in the sea.."
"why are you doing this to yourself"
"you've changed ever since you met tis asshole.. you're not the same fun person i knew once upon a time"

The response i get is.. "i love him/her.. its all worth it.. you wont understand.. relationships are all about giving and taking.. life aint a bed of roses.. when the boat of life hits some rough sea you have to steer it safely back to habour"

whew.. cut the crap..! what boat..? what life..?

being tortured day in and day out.. crying.. puffy eyes.. reporting to your respective "partner" of your every move.. eating like a bird to look all nice and pretty to impress your partner..

Naansense..!!

Live your life by the rules you lay for yourself.. dont live your life under the domination/command of anyone..!

I'm not exactly on top of the world.. but heck.. my sanity is intact.. my peace of mind is intact and i have a sound sleep every night.. Why..? Because im single..! Im a free bird.. I dont have a care in the world.. And i try not to think too much about my shitty past..

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Wise men say only fools rush in.. But i cant help falling in love with u..

"Louwe".. Music, colours, head rush, glowing skin, sighing, day dreaming..

And then reality hits.. *screeching of tyres on the road* :p

I recently saw this new Kamal flick.. Vettayadu Vellayadu.. which actually reconfirmed and made me doubly sure that being single is wise.. very wise.. brr..

So the story is about these 2 demented twisted in the head boys.. they're medical students.. and they go around raping women, then they use surgical instruments to dissect,cut and do really grose yucky things in general with the body of the girl and wen she's dead they bury her..

After the first half of the movie got over i was peeing in my pants.. i was shit scared.. i clung on to all my friends.. kept holding their hands.. could'nt look at even one guy straight on his face..

I kept thinking in the lines of.. what if im being watched by the eyes of a rapist right now.. what if some guy is looking at me and saying to himself.. hey thats a fine piece of ass.. brr.. :/

The faces of those dead girls kept haunting me.. i recalled all the times i'd gone out alone.. stayed out late at night.. met onliners who i barely knew.. and i kicked myself internally.. what if something happened.. oh god.. oh dear god.. :(

In the 2nd half of the movie.. when Kamal killed the bad guys.. i was screaming in my seat.. "die bitch.. die"..

And after the movie got over i swore to myself.. NEVER again will i go to lonely deserted dark roads.. NEVER again go anywhere without telling at least a zillion people.. just in case i get raped or murdered or both.. sob.. :(

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Thermal And A Quarter..

Caught these guys live last night..

A 4 member band comprising a drummer, bassist,vocalist cum lead guitarist and rhythm guitarist..

They played a lot of their original compositions,2 dire straits covers, hendrix, rhcp, mr.big..

Their originals were absolutely amazing..

The vocalist had amazing stage presense.. witty,humourous,awesome voice of course and a nice pearly white toothy grin right out of a colgate advertisement..

The drummer was kickass.. the raw energy and the power.. i cud feel it..

The crowd was sad.. really sad.. didnt do justice to the band @ all.. Madras Gymkhana Club.. the prim and proper folks of uber society.. :/ they just sat stunned for each song they played.. very feeble clapping and cheering at the end of each one of their songs.. And at one point when d vocalist asked them to sing along.. no one responded.. :( *sob*

I wished at that moment i had the ability to multiply.. I wished there were a 100 me s on the ground..

After about 2 hours the vocalist announced they'd take a 15 minute break.. I took the oppurtunity to run upto him and request him for a Deep Purple song.. for which he replied.. "we dont play deep purple covers.. sorry" and he flashed that cute grin again.. Sigh.. I think im in love.. :p

And then corny hindi music was played for which the crowd grew wild.. and i sat impatiently waiting for the band to start up again.. but my waitin was in vain.. after about 20 mins they came on stage and started dismantling all the equipment.. :(

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Qwickys, Nungumbakkam..

A place i called my 2nd home.. it wasnt merely a "coffee pub" for my school gang.. it was much much more than that.. The memories, the hours spent there.. its all a blur now to be very honest.. It seems like a million years ago since the gang and i hung out..

My gang mates have changed, the faces are different and the places we go to now are different as well..

Today.. after about 4 years plus my present gang and i went to Pizza Hut,Nungumbakkam.. (the same complex as Qwickys)

The first thing i did as soon as i parked my bike was to run to Qwickys.. It was closed down.. Shutters were pulled down.. and an "entry restricted" board was placed outside.. I felt a little lump rise in my throat.. Random thoughts rushed into my head.. The decor, the tiny cozy little nook, the bar stools, the smell of coffee, my school gang,the huge TV set,Arun.. Arun.. Arun..

Arun.. he was a waiter in Qwickys.. and i was a mean insensitive cruel bitchy school kid..

Ive done tons of ridiculous things in school and Arun was.. well.. sweet,sensitive,caring.. Allrite.. maybe im overdoing it a little now..

In a nutshell.. I just followed my whims.. I gave him hot and cold signs.. And just when we were beginning to get to know each other well.. i cut him out.. changed my number, ignored him completely each time i went to Qwickys..

Now.. fast forwarding to the present.. history repeated itself.. in the most nastiest way possible..

Someone who i got close to in the recent past is giving me the same cold treatment i showered Arun with 4 years back..

To all those people who ive hurt in the past.. Im sorry.. I truely am..

I wish i could go back in time and undo all the things ive done.. Someone please invent a time machine for crissake..! :/

Friday, August 25, 2006

Hitch..


I saw the flick for the umpteenth time last night on HBO.. i dont think ill ever really get sick of watching it.. It is a little realistic.. the added bonus of Will Smith.. plus all the catchy one liners and the smooth talking..

Always leaves me with a good feeling.. Gives me hope really.. Hope that maybe.. just maybe.. i wont wind up as a cranky spinster in a room full of cats..

Alex ‘Hitch’ Hitchens, a guy who knows how to make a good first impression and who’s willing to teach men the ropes – for a price.. As New York's 'date doctor', Hitch helps hopeless men hook up with the women of their dreams.. Setting up a geeky dude seeking love from a beautiful stranger is more than a job for Hitch, it’s an adventure..

Love is a word quite non-existant in the vocabulary of most folks nowadays.. and i dont blame them.. its a fast paced world of meeting deadlines and cut throat competition and slogging your ass off or else someone else would steal your job.. too many people and too little jobs.. so most folks just want flings.. non messy, non complicated, no heatburns.. its a mutual understanding of wham bham thankyou m'am..

I think the world needs to be saved.. by Mr. Hitch.. We all need to love some more.. We all have to open up some more.. We have to give people second chances.. forget and forgive.. Get in touch with old friends.. People who at one point of time meant the world to us..

Forget the past.. Move on.. Dont look back.. Make a fresh start..

I quote in the words of Hitch.. "Life aint about the moments that u breathe in.. Its about the number of moments that take your breath away"

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Flashes..

Flashes.. teasers from my brain.. things from my past which are rewound and played over and over.. tormenting me..

When things go horribly wrong.. we move on.. somehow.. with all the courage we can muster.. But somewhere down the "healing process" lane.. we get these flashes..

Really small things.. like a Superman Returns hoarding,missed calls on my phone,a funny malayalam movie,the terrace,my guitar..

All of a sudden my determination and focus.. namely.. to move on.. crumbles.. I relive the past once again.. and after im done.. i sob hysterically for exactly 4 minutes or less and then i go numb.. Motions happen around me.. and i just get sucked into it.. i mindlessly play along with the mundane activities of the day..

I was watching this old mohanlal flick today.. "gandharvam".. and at some point.. watching the love story unfold.. i started getting one of those horrible flashes again..

The happily ever after ending somehow happens only in the movies..girl loves boy, boy loves girl.. and they wind up together with a baby..

In real life.. girl flips for boy and boy runs miles away.. girl tries to move on with her life.. trying hard to erase the memories..

Saturday, August 05, 2006

The silver lining in my cloud..

Today was a nasty horrible affair.. I wish it never happened..

I have my internal exams going on.. Today was my last paper.. Photography.. And i mugged every goddamn detail in those horrible lookin xerox papers..

I drove wid a smile.. Happy.. Content.. About nothing in particular really.. I wave at a child on a bike.. I soak up the hot burning sun with a feeling of "aah.. im in heaven".. I observe the jammed roads and think to myself.. "sheesh.. chennai roads.."

I finally reach college.. walk upto my exam hall.. its empty.. no sign of any of my friends.. puzzled.. i walk upto my class.. and i noticed they were all writing.. stumped..

i walk upto d invigulator and i say.. "m'am isnt d exam supposed to start @ 12..?" she says.. "they're almost about to finish.. why dont u go to the deparrtment and talk to your prof"

so i stride up confidently to d deptt and i tell her.. "m'am.. i presumed the paper was @ 12.. can i write now..?"

she says.. "i made an announcemnent yesterday that it was @ 10.. and u're walking in right now..?" and she walks away..

I begin to panic.. i spot my class teacher and i tell her my tale of woe.. she smirks.. gets up.. walks out.. i follow her like a puppy with her tail behind her leg.. she talks to my photography prof.. i hear snippets of the conversation..

class teacher walks back towards me.. "u'll have to take the permission of the HOD"..

so for the next 20 minutes i pace up and down the college tryin to get a glimpse of my HOD..

Finally.. i see her.. i walk upto her and i tell her yada yada yada..

She says.. "allright.. go back up.. a new question paper shall be given to u.."

I walk back upto my deptt.. i spot my photography prof.. she says.. "im sorry Gayatri.. but we cant have an exam just for 1 student.."

Dejected.. the dam bursts open.. I sob hysterically.. I know its no big deal.. its just the internals.. these marks are not goin to help me clear this semester.. but the tears kept rolling.. i looked around.. none of my friends were around to console me.. give me a hug.. maybe a bitch a little about the nasty photography prof..

I felt a hand on my shoulder.. i looked up into the eyes of concern..

Gurl in white :what happened..
Me: i sob missed sob my paper.. waaahhhhhhh..
Gurl: which deppt..? wich year..?
Me: electronic media.. 2nd..
Gurl: did u talk to your prof..? maybe they will let u write
Me: i sob just spoke to her.. waaahhhhh.. they said i cant write it now.. sob sniff
Gurl: Oh im so sorry

I walk down.. She follows me..

Gurl: wait wait.. where do u stay..? shall i drop u somewhere..?
Me: u dont even know me.. waahhhhh.. sob..
Gurl:(smiles)so what..? u dont need to know someone to help someone

I spot my HOD.. "im really sorry gayatri.. we cant let u write this paper.. "

Meanwhile my gurl in white walks away..

Me: Sob.. Okie m'am..

I turn around.. she was missing.. she just vanished into thin air..

I walk back to the parking lot.. Starting up my bike with elephant tears still rolling down my cheecks..

I scan the roads.. I wanted to catch a glimpse of my White Gurl.. Her presence somehow soothed me,calmed my jittery nerves, her voice ran in my brain like a balm..

I dont even know her name.. Who was she..?

All through my ride back home i kept thinking.. None of my friends were around in my time of need.. I was all alone.. except for this stranger..

This incident made me realise.. The people we care about a lot in this world may not be around after all.. Maybe i am all alone.. Maybe i have no one to fall back on afterall..

I miss the influence of certain people in my life.. And after i reached home.. i called those people up.. One just cut the call.. And the other didnt bother to pick up even..

When shit happens.. we have to clear the mess on our own.. No one has the time to listen to u whining..

Girl in white.. thank you from the bottom of my heart.. whoever u are.. God bless u..

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Practise School..

A unique learning experience offered to Electronic Media grads during their 2nd year of college.. Manning the college radio station.. MOP FM 91.2

Or in other words.. our personal hell.. once u start working there's no looking bak for the next 1 week..

Scrutinizing radio scripts, rjying,recording.. oh yea.. it sounds like major fun.. but the truth is.. its a lot of work.. Getting up @ ungodly hours in the mornin.. turning on the transmittor.. sitting idly for 1 whole hour waiting for the show to get over.. going bak to the studio.. start the day's work which includes packaging, coming up with witty one liners, rectifying the errors of previously recorded shows.. which means u keep rewinding and fastforwarding.. listening to the same thing over and over again till all the mistakes are erased..

And the icing to the cake Mr. Tiru.. the man in charge.. once he starts talking god help us.. We yawn, we look away, we fidget with our mobile phones to give him hints saying.. "dude.. stop talking..! stop talkin NOW or i swear i'll pull your undies over your head"..

But all our efforts are wasted.. Tiru goes on and on like no man's business.. I bet with all the heat and wind energy that's produced by his flapping lips a whole 3rd world nation could be supplied with electricity..

All in all.. an experience that's sure to make healthy fit sane homosapiens go completely beserk and transform them to zombies..

Friday, July 21, 2006

Human Relationships..

Funny 2 words..

One minute u're very close to someone and the next u dont want to talk to each other anymore..

It stings like mad when u know that someone you get along real well with and u let your emotions run wild.. does not reciprocate your feelings..

But what can we do..? Nothing.. Just let it go.. We dont have the power to mess with free will..

Each experience is a learning experience goes the age old saying.. But too much experience is not a very good thing now is it..?

How long can we take the pain..? How much longer can we twist our brain into believing that we're bound to be happy someday.. We just might bump into someone amazing..

Lets face it.. Some of us are cupid's favourites and some of us are not..

I can see it now.. "Gayatri Bhadran, Spinster, 1987-2050"

Ive gone back into that black hole again.. Im falling.. down down down..

Thursday, June 22, 2006

My Givson..

I started playing chords.. FINALLY..! :D

I feel very mature and grown up now.. All my guitar lessons to date seem to fade out in comparison to the class I had last week..

The feeling of holding the polished instrument.. Holding 2-3 strings at the same time.. Playin chords and bar chords.. Strummin away with my strummer on the other hand.. Oh the pain.. Oh the joy..!

I’m making music..!!

One chord fades out to another and another and another..

I feel invincible.. My guitar and I make a great team.. :p

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Writer’s block

I have been wanting to blog about Memoirs Of A Geisha.. a movin tale of the life of a Geisha woman.. It really hit some nerves.. and I did shed a few tears..

I have also been wanting to blog about my trip to bangalore where I saw the complete transformation of my chammatu pavam older sister into a frenzied shopping bitch..

But the words have run dry.. Nothing seems to inspire me enough anymore to sit down and blog..

I have changed..

I had left chennai for 1 month.. I had gone to my native town.. Trivandrum.. and when I returned I noticed a lot of changes..

Some of my closest friends for instance fell in love.. and suddenly I felt like an older unmarried 30 year old being critically scrutinized by smug married couples..

“so tell me gayatri.. why is that fine physical specimens like you have still not found a guy..”
and

“I’m sorry.. u cant expect me to dump my girlfriend for u to catch gigs in the city anymore, u will have to bring along another friend” and

“I think u should start expanding your social circle a wee bit more old girl.. your guy is just around the corner.. but u will have to take the initiative to bump into him”

Is this the mating season..? If so, I need to be on a different planet.. I choose to remain single,happy and carefree..

Now let me boil down to the essense of this blog.. I think I did have a soft corner for someone.. it could’nt have been love.. too soon to think in those lines.. but I did get very close to him in a very short span of time.. he was like a drug.. I could’nt seem to get enough of him.. as the day ended I waited for the next day and the next and the next just to be around him..

He was a complete stranger to me for about 3 whole months.. I didn’t think much of him.. the typical “die u bugs” im a kick ass guitarist from a kick ass band attitude seemed to be oozing from him.. and plus.. he was a mallu.. all the more reason for me to ignore the twirp..

A week before I left for my native place.. I sent him a funny offline sumthing in the lines of “so catch u on the streets of tvm matey.. ill be there for 1 whole month”

He replied to this with his number.. I was a little surprised considering the fact we barely knew each other..

I called him a week after I had settled in.. our phone conversations didn’t go too well either.. We just did not seem to click one bit..

But a week before I was to return to chennai.. he declared he would come home.. “are u sure” I asked.. “do u really want to take the pains of coming all the way to meet a complete stranger..? plus u would be interrogated by my crazy family.. so think about it”..

His response was “im good with families.. im sure ill be pretty comfortable and yes.. I do want to see u”

So 3 hours later.. I see a wiry scrawny guy with a smile brighter than surya bulb’s standing outside my gate..

And so we sit around jabbering and playin the guitar.. Time seemed to fly by and I didn’t notice..

When it was time for him to leave.. I thought.. “hmm.. nice guy.. I made a huge error of character judgement..”

Out loud I said.. “thanks for coming mate.. this was fun”

He responded.. “im free tommorow as well..” He left the sentence dangling in mid-air..

I gushed “Oh yaay..” Exactly what he expected to hear..

And so we meet like that a couple more times.. each time I got a little bit more anxious to see him,to talk to him,to get to know him better..

The last day we meet was pretty painful.. I’m lousy with goodbyes.. so when he said.. “ill miss u babe”.. I said.. “yes yes.. me too,u too,oh sheesh.. just leave already”.. :/

And that was that.. the maxim “geography gets in the way of history and ruins chemistry” followed suit..

Sure we did chat online, talk on the fone.. But I know.. its over.. Whatever it was..

He’ll move on with his life, forgetting every detail I mentioned above..

I’ll mope over it for a couple more days.. Remembering all the details.. The lines on his face, the tone of his voice, that smile, the mallu slang, the smell of his deo..

Time heals they say.. well Mr. Time.. I’m waiting.. heal me..

Monday, April 24, 2006

Sinagara Chennai’s not so singara roads and traffic..

June 2005 marked d turning point in my life.. d beginning of an era perhaps.. I wuz getting into college.. wich implied license to drive.. FINALLY..!

I waited fer tis day my whole life.. I pictured myself drivin on one of em race bikes.. id zip by wid d world watchin in awe.. jus like in d movies..

But my folks had odder plans.. they did not approve of their youngest child drivin arnd in a bike.. a maruti 800 wud b jus fine they said.. but I didn’t give in.. I wanted a bike.. and dat wuz dat..

So d following month I got a brand new purple TVS Scooty Pep.. well.. not exactly wot I had in mind.. but @ least it sumwot resembled d bike in my head’s lil cousin.. :/

And as all beginners I had a few minor knocks now and den.. My wake up call came wen I had a major accident.. a bus knockin me down frm behind.. d bike and I flew in d air (matrix eesshhtyle) and I scrapped on d road fer a while.. broken bones, a bloody face and sum skin bein ripped apart..

Folks were hell bent on getting me d car now.. but I got bak on my bike in 7 days.. and I got a piercing done as well to prove to d world.. “I aint a sissy.. if life throws me limes I make lime juice”

Now I think im a seasoned rider.. its been a year now since Ive been drivin on d roads of chennai.. and I wud like to categorise d traffic as follows:

D honkers – As the name suggests these folks honk their horns fer no rhyme or reason.. im thinking mebbe they want attention.. like a spoilt brat who craves fer attention frm his/her parents all d time..

D starers - These folks jus look u up and down.. they hv a bewildered look in their eyes.. they look @ u wid a look dat says.. “hmm.. thr are odder human beings I co-exist wid on dis blue blob planet”

D strays – These folks are very much like stray dogs.. no clue bout wots goin on arnd them.. they act on impulse.. they may jump in fronta yer vehicle @ any time.. and if u hit them by accident.. gawd bless u’re soul.. my sympathies are wid u..

D buses and the auto rickshaws - I don’t hv a nick name fer buses and autos cuz they are a league apart.. they think they own d roads and hence stop whereva and weneva they want to.. they mite go slow or go fast.. (they prolly hv mood swings often) and of corse a special mention fer d auto drivers.. money suckin hounds.. so tackle wid caution..

D gap seekers – I belong to dis category.. :D we folks spot d gaps in a traffic jam.. sqeeuze in and drive away unhurt (touch wood) therefore we save a lotta time and fuel..

D road huggers – these folks drive rather crawl like snails right in d middle of d road.. u mite b late fer college, late to meet a frnd, late fer a movie perhaps.. but u cant do a darn thing abt it.. u either crawl behind em or honk fer approximately 10 mins after wich road hugger mite move a lil to give u way..

Sunday, April 23, 2006

U Can Loose What u Neva Had..

My acquaintance wid him wuz brief.. 5 days to b exact..

In dat very short span o time.. we explored many emotions.. I gave it my all..

I let him see the little girl inside..

Time flew by so quick wen we rambled on and on about nothing in particular..

Finally.. we decided to throw away our virtual masks and meet in flesh..

I wuz excited.. I probably didn’t get tis excited even wen I got material possessions..

“D” day went well.. or so I think..

D msgs and calls abruptly stop.. I battle out in my head wot cud’ve gone wrong..

I blamed myself fer tis sudden change of events..

At times thr wuz a strange feeling of numbness and @ times thr wuz a deep sorrow dat cut thru my soul..

5 days..! Dats all it took..

Those stolen moments we shared stayed etched on to my memories..

I realized dat I wuz’nt strong enuf.. life gave me a little toss and I wuz flat on my face..

I hv to stand bak up on my feet again and let bygones be bygones..

D clich├ęd line.. “everythin happens fer a reason” is my mantra to stay focused and calm..

Monday, April 03, 2006

WARNER BROTHERS presents in association with VILLAGE ROADSHOW PICTURES.. Halle Berry in CATWOMAN..

Im an animal luver who hates cats.. cant stand d disgustin-cant-identify-his-master-feline things..

But now wen I look @ cats I hv respect in my eyes.. all thx to CATWOMAN..

Yes I am a sucker fer superheroes.. luv spidey,daredevil,batman,superman.. read a few marvel comics.. and I think d movies are a poor representation of d hero…

Catwoman is a superhero I had no knowledge of until today..

D sole reason I took d DVD is becuz me bored,jobless and d added bonus of Halle Berry.. luv dat woman.. shez got class.. a timeless beauty.. and shez a brilliant actor..

And no one cud’ve done justice to d role of Catwoman except tis black babe..

Freedom,independence,wild,untamed.. catwoman epitomises these 4 pillars..

D history of catwomen go bak to d egyption era.. a special egyption feline tests women and wen she dies.. shez reborn as catwoman..

Often misunderstood by common man.. half cat.. half woman.. shez got catlike grace, a knack fer landing on her feet, a passion for sushi,a loathin fer dogs.. and more dan nethin else.. shez a woman..!! yaay.. :D

Tis movie showed grl power all d way.. she proves to d world dat she doznt need a man in her life to complete her.. in d last scene of d flick.. her boyfrnd reads a letter frm her dat said “u’re a good man Tom.. but I will neva fit into yer world.. my journery begins.. now”

Watchin d flick.. I wished I had half d attitude, half d confidence and half her ability to kick men on d nuts..

Henceforth.. a meow frm a cat cud b a call.. a call to say im d chosen one.. sigh.. I wish.. :/

Friday, March 31, 2006

Miss Goody 2 Shoes OUT… Mean-Ass-I-Don’t-Give-A-Fuck-Bitch IN..

D problem wid me is d following…

1.mez a doormat.. I let ppl trample all over me.. and d irony is I don’t even realize it.. until d trampling process is over..

2.I trust ppl blindly.. fer a looong time I thot d whole world is filled wid nice guys and grls who are all out to make my life less monotonous and borin...

3.I get too emotionally attatched to ppl.. I let them control me..

4.I get vulnerable very easily.. I start sayin things wich shud prolly go wid me to d grave.. but oh no.. my big mouth jus cant shut d fuck up.. I blurt out every gawd dayum detail of my personal life..

5.Im insecure.. I always hv a feelin im not good enuf… not good enuf fer ppl to b arnd me.. not good enuf fer ppl to get to kno me..

6.I hv a phobia fer d dark.. I hv a feelin im watched by d world beyond.. Ive had a coupla nitemares involving lil grl ghosts, gothika type grl ghosts etc.. and therefore I hv sum jobless frnds who call me up @ nite and say ridiculous things..

7.im a few pounds extra.. while d rest of d world is filled wid anorexically malnutritioned sticks wrapped arnd wid clothes.. Im a chubby fill my clothes nice and proper.. luv my grub person.. and hence my weight is anotha issue.. butt of most fat ppl jokes et al..


So my action plan fer d above 7 wud b d following:

1.start trampling d tramplers.. they wont kno wot hit them.. flash em wid one of my pearly angelish grins and wallah pull d mat frm under their feet.. therefore d messers become d messes..

2.I will stop trustin ppl.. I will look @ every1 wid X ray vision.. ill critically analyze their body language..

3.I will stop getting emotionally attached to ppl.. ppl are merely players in dis game of life.. make d rite moves and get away unhurt and triumphant..

4.I will stop blurtin out d dark secrets of my borin life..

5.im a bubbly full of life.. cant keep my mouth shut.. ever smiling goof ball.. I try to spread joy in my own weird ways.. so take it or leave it..

6.thr r no such things as ghosts.. so mez gonna stop watchin horror flicks and reading horror novels..

7.im chubby.. so wot..?!! ppl are jus jealous of my puppy fat… im happy in my body.. and I look good.. hrmph..

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

In d words of my angel…

As i sat on my bed on a hot afternoon and rocked frm side to side wid silent tears flowin down d side of my face..

Random thots of misery poppin into my brain every now and den..

Ponderin abt all d times life had’nt danced to my tunes..

I remembered d words of my angel..

Don’t force things to happen.. wot is yours will come to u child..

Human relationships are a game.. make all d rite moves and u win.. make wrong moves and u get yer ass whooped nice and proper..

Always remember.. believe in yerself.. difficulties in life are merely tests of courage.. let difficulties kno dat u are difficult..

Don’t give up widout a fite..

And fer all d ppl who hznt appreciated u screw em all..

Always think abt those who care abt u.. who respect u.. who are dependent on u..

Hang in thr.. d wave of life hz to go up again sumday..

Sunday, March 26, 2006

IIPM’s AMAZE – 2006 in association wid blah blah blah presents… BOMBAY VIKINGS AND STRINGS

To be honest.. I aint a huge Bombay Vikings fan.. hvnt even heard their music..
And as fer strings.. ive heard a coupla tracks namely.. duur,dhaani and d spidey ost..

So why did I go..? well d reason is simple.. as a wise man quoted to me last week.. “listen to all sorta music.. dat makes u a true musician”

And so @ 6.30pm my good frnd Arun and I set out to d YMCA grounds..

7.00 pm We finally reach d place.. d 1st thing we saw d min we got off d bike wuz a woman in a very very gaudy looking silk saree.. I groaned mentally.. “oh boy.. tis wuz gonna b a loooong nite”

7.45 pm D show hznt started yet.. 107.1 fm’s RJ Niladri makes an announcement in his deep sexy voice.. “ladies and gentleman d show will commence in anotha 5 mins”

therz a collective booing frm d impatient audience.. I wuz standing @ d 250 bucks slot.. flood lites were placed too close.. and d heat wuz unbearable..

8.00pm sum guy on a cycle circles on stage and says sumthin in broken English.. as my frnd quoted.. “tis is d worst Mc ing I’ve eva heard”

8.10 pm sum fat guy wid streaks in his hair gets on stage and d crowd goes ballistic.. he starts to sing.. d earth beneath my feet wuz vibrating wid ppl jumping arnd.. my frnd and I were d only 2 ppl who stood like stones.. not amused one bit.. wen d guy ended 1 song.. sum1 in d bak screamed out my sentiment.. “abey..paisa wapas de”

8.20 pm.. fat guy still singing.. frnd & I slowly begin to realize our predicament.. and join in by clappin our hands reluctantly.. cuz if ya cant beat em join em and wen in rome b roman.. **sniff** :/

9.00 pm.. yaay..!!! fat guy goes off stage..

9.01pm.. we gobble fried wonton and gobi manchurian and drink sum mirida and 7up..

9.15pm.. faisal,bilal and their band assemble on stage.. “can we hv d lights on d audience plzz.. I wud like to see em betta..” said faisal..
faisal wuz very confident.. and he quickly captured d hearts of d crowd..

@ one point he introduced.. his band members..
so and so on d drums..
so and so on d bass guitar
so and so on d lead guitar..
each had a solo wich lasted fer abt a min…

bilal.. d lead guitarist.. played saarein jahan se accha.. and d crowd screamed in approval..

after dat faisal said “weneva we go fer a show.. tis is wot we do to find out how many grls and how many guys are present..”

“so now all u grls.. sing aley aley aley” .. so d women sing..
same drill fer d men..

“hmm.. therz a good number of guys & grls here.. good..”

9.50 pm.. we cudnt stand it nemore.. we had to go closer.. heck d only reason we’re here wuz fer these guys.. d physical barriers namely a flimsy excuse fer a fence didn’t stop us.. we jumped and ran to d 500 buck slot.. unfortunately during d process I got stuck and so my frnd pulled as hard as he cud.. wid d rest of me still dangling on d odder side.. (not a pretty site)
neways.. made it eventually.. :/ wid a potential shoulder dislocation.. but on d brite side we were finally more close to d stage..

10.10 pm.. faisal says.. “now lets see how many of u are good fielders here..” and he takes a plastic cover wid 10-15 tennis balls.. bilal takes up a bat.. and they begin to play.. d tennis balls are caught by d audience..

10.15pm.. d lamers @ d 1000 buck slot start to walk out..!! I wuz stunned..!! I wanted to scream out.. “wot d hell is wrong wid u ppl..?!! these guys are amazing..” I wished I had d ability to multiply.. I wished thr wuz a 100 mes on d ground..

10.45 pm.. “tis is d last song fer d evening.. so all of u go crzy.. all u guys who’re sitting plzz stand up fer tis one..” and he sings d zinda OST, ye dosti.. and sum odder song wich I aint familiar wid.. but thr wuz a line wich went.. “tu mera mein tera.. ye jaanta hai saara Hindustan” @ tis point he said.. I’ll sing ‘saara Hindustan’ and u guys sing ‘saara Pakistan”

d crowd once again cheered in approval.. we were totally enamored by tis guy.. if @ dat point he had said jump off a cliff we wud’ve agreed.. we were all in sum kind of trance..

10.50 pm.. they wind up.. and wid all d energy reserves left in me I screamed.. I screamed like thr wuz no tmrw.. I screamed till I wuz completely breathless..

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Can a stranger affect yer life..?

Yes.. widout a doubt..

I strongly agree wid d sayin “it takes a few hrs to get to kno sum1.. anotha coupla hrs to start likin dat sum1.. coupla few hrs more to start thinking in d lines of why d heck didn’t I meet tis amazing human bein before..?”

Now therz nuffin wrong in bein a lil dreamy.. NOTE: a Little..!!

We always want wot we cant hv and I say gawd is a mean saddistic creature who sits up thr wid a poking device in hand..

Why show us things we cant hv..? why tempt us and den mock us wid “nanananana.. u cant hv dat..”

Wen I wuz a kid mom told me.. “don’t talk to strangers”

But d rebel in me didn’t allow me to do so.. I luv meetin ppl.. and I continue to do so..

Well now fastforwardin to d present..

I wuz @ college.. blushin and all giggly like a dumb skool kid.. narratin my tale of bumpin into a silent brooding stranger who I thot wuz prolly d one good thing dat happened to me in a loooong long time and so on and so forth..

My frnd bein d more mature,sensible one.. told me.. “chillax.. don’t trust strangers so blindly”
My immediate response wuz.. “bah..! u sound jus like my ma..”

And d rest is history.. of corse d whole thing fizzled out nice and proper.. and mez bak to square one.. who knows if silent broodin eva wants to talk to me again..

Well on d bright side.. I guess d memory wud always remain and it mite come flashin bak to me every now and den to give me a mental kick in d rear..

Lesson learnt.. “don’t get too excited and don’t go overboard wen u meet sum1 new..”

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Beautiful Stranger

Memories of our brief meeting linger in my mind..
The thot of it makes my skin tingle wid pleasure..
A smile comes on my face and I blush a lil..
I had gone looking fer a pair of jeans..
I had no idea I’d end up starin @ d guy of my dreams..

His eyes didn’t leave mine frm d minute he entered d shop..
He smiled,he grinned and he looked wid a look on his eyes dat made my knees buckle and my heart pound hard…

I suddenly felt shy.. a feelin I had’nt undergone in a looong looong time..
He had an effect on me.. an undescribable sweet feeling I cant explain..
When it wuz time to leave,I looked up @ him and he looked up @ me..

He smiled once again.. dat sexy smile.. wich made my kness buckle and my heart melt..
And once again my knees shook and my heart melted..
He started up his bike.. a roar of noise hit my ears..

And @ d same time I felt my heart break..
I realized dis wuz it..
He wuz so close yet so far..
Good bye handsome stranger.. take care..
I hope we meet again sumday..

(random shit once again..)

tis incident really did happen btw.. I wuz 14.. went to besant nagar.. fashion folks.. and I saw tis greek gawd.. :p he had a ruggish yet very innocent round face..

he lingered on in my mind d whole of d next day and so I decided to pen it down..

I still drive past fashion folks almost every odder day cuz Bessie is my hangout.. and @ times I still do scan d parkin lot of fashion folks to see whether therz a yamaha rx 135.. (brown tank..) parked thr

A 1000 knives

A 1000 knives bleed my heart…
I feel my heart exploding wid luv..
He came like d wind..
He cast a spell on me..
All he did wuz talk..
I heard his voice fer d first time and I knew dat id found him—my guy..
As the days flew by..
I found myself falling harder and harder for him..
And now it looks like ive reached rock bottom..

I pictured him as d wild guy..
D guy wid d guitar and long hair..
D guy who talked,breathed and created music,
He wuz my dream come true..

A 1000 knives bleed my heart..
My dreams are shattered,
“my guy” aint mine afterall

When I look @ him I see sumthin rare
Wot makes him different..?
Wots thr inside him..? --- a shinin star to me..

His eyes.. im sure brighten people’s days..
They shine like stars on a dark gloomy nite..
His lips - - d most lovliest pink ive eva seen..
His hands - - firm yet gentle..
His laugh - - a cool tantalizing breeze on a dry desert..
His hair - - a water fall flowin eva so gently

A 1000 knives bleed my heart..
As I realize I can only admire d beautiful sunset..
I cannot toch him.. I cannot feel him..
There wud neva b a day wen I can declare to d world my luv fer him..

The luv inside me wud remain buried..
It’ll b secret..
He’ll neva kno.. cuz he doznt wanna hear it..

(random shit wich I penned down a coupla yrs bak)

Thursday, March 16, 2006

The IIT Rock Show

January 29th 2006 wuz an ordinary day in d lives of most of mankind.. But dat day marked d turning point of my life.. It wuz d first day of my teenage life my parents allowed me stay out beyond my ridiculous curfew time of 9 pm..

Not only dat.. it wuz d day my parents realized dat im a mature,responsible adult who can make decisions of her own.. They realized dat my needs were simple.. I wuz deprived of so many things cuz of my curfew time.. But tis yr.. I put my foot down.. “I hv to go for d show..” my decision wuz final.. and my folks didn’t hv a choice but to give in..

I wuz so excited.. My brain pictured d bands on stage.. D crowd.. I kept msgin my frnd who wuz to take me fer d show.. His response wuz… “chill babe.. don’t get so hyper.. I don’t think it’ll b all dat gr8.. d bands playin are Led Zepplica.. obviously sum wannabe band and Parikrama.. sum Indian metal band.. I think they’re gonna suck..”

But I thot to myself.. heck.. who cares.. Ill b out beyond 9 pm and tis wuz gonna be my first eva rock show..

6.30 pm.. My frnd picked me up and we drove upto IIT..

6.50 pm.. A bus picks us up frm d IIT entrance and drops us to d Open Air Theatre..

7.00 pm.. Security checks and finally we walk in.. My eyes fell upon d dimly light stage… I saw 2 drum kits on stage.. My excitement levels doubled on seeing d beautiful instruments.. I scanned d crowds.. It wuz almost packed..

7.15 pm.. We settle ourselves down on to cemented steps.. And a band member runs across stage now and den jus to make d crowd scream..

7.30 pm.. A tall guy wid glasses comes on stage and bellows d name of d band who wuz to play..

7.35 pm.. D band Parikrama assemble on stage.. D vocalist.. a guy wid a nice clean shaven round bald shiny head announces.. “whoa.. A see of faces.. An ocean of hands.. I dunno wot to say.. Im so speechless.. Wot do I refer to u guys as.. IIT chennai or IIT Madras..?” The crowd screams “IIT Madras” He says.. “arrite.. now if d following names vibe wid u lift yer hands.. Deep purple,Coldplay,Gnr,Ac/dc..”

Each band’s name he called out.. d crowd went more and more ballistic..

And finally they began to play.. Me and my frnd were taken bak.. We were stunned.. We underestimated these guys.. D vocalist’s screams blew our mind away.. We were lost to his voice and d amazing music d band wuz playin.. They played sum cover songs.. And they played sum originals..

They had a violin solo.. And once again I wuz watchin wid amazement.. I wuz ignorant of d fact dat an instrument which generally produced whiny noises cud sound so good..

D lead guitarist.. A chubby cute looking teddy bear wid chinky eyes.. Had amazing chubby gifted fingers.. They were literally flying ova d guitar.. And to keep up d pace of his wriggly fingers his tummy bounced along as well..

Wen Nitin Malik and his band stopped playin.. we were geared up fer sum more amazing music..

D next band on stage wuz Led Zepplica.. D stage lights dimmed once again.. And wen it came on.. D band wuz assembled on stage.. D vocalist had his bak to d audience.. He had curly blonde hair wich wuz prolly combed neater dan my messy brown black sweaty hair wich wuz stuck on my scalp..

They started off really well.. And d crowd wuz screamin their guts out.. But @ sum point.. They suddenly started playin slow numbers.. Tis put us off.. D crowd started thinning as well..

D highlight of Led Zepplica wuz their drummer.. D guy had a drummin solo wich lasted fer about 10 mins.. He went ballistic.. He wuz like a drummin machine.. Once again fer I stood thr stunned.. watchin in amazement… wid envy.. After he wuz done thr wuz a burst of crackers in d skies and d stage lit up behind him..

12.00 pm.. D vocalist announced dat their next song wuz “stairway to heaven”.. we screamed in approval… They were prolly 3 mins into d song wen d electricity went kaput.. Exactly 15 seconds latrz d power wuz bak on.. They continued where they left off.. But once again d power went off.. So finally they gave up and went off stage and we clapped..

12.15 pm.. My frnd and I walked in silence.. Our feet hurt becuz we were jumpin all thru d show.. Our necks were stiff cuz of d intense head banging and our throats were parched cuz we were screamin our guts out.. It wuz cold.. We got into a bus wich took us upto d entrance of IIT..

12.20pm.. We get on his bike.. he drives me hme..

12.25pm.. I slowly creep in d house.. Open d door wid d duplicate key I hv.. I turn to d left and thr sit my folks wide awake and beamin.. “how wuz d show..?” they ask.. I reply.. “amazing..tell u all bout it tmrw”

D next morning I wake up and I swear I cud still hear Nitin Malik’s amazing shrill screams .. His voice stayed etched to my brain .. I fell completely in luv wid it..

CRASH - - Frm d screen writer/producer of MILLION DOLLAR BABY

A 20 sumthin black kid who makes a life outta hijackin and stealin cars… In d last scene he opens d bak door of a truck he steals and lets out illegal immigrants.. His boss tells him “u keep d car and ill sell these chinks… ill give u 500 a piece”.. but d boy follows his heart.. follows one of d few principles he imbibed and frees d immigrants..

An aging mother tells her older son who is a respectable cop in d LAPD to find her younger son.. d woman is unaware of d fact dat d younger kid is a loser.. she favours d loser son to d more mature,respectable son who actually cares bout her..

Eventually d older son doz find his kid bro.. dead.. and d mother blames him for his death and she tells him “ykno my baby came hme one day wen I wuz sleepin.. he got me groceries”.. Again d woman wuz mistaken.. D older kid stacked her fridge wid d groceries..

Matt Dillon.. a cop.. hez a racist.. he stops a black couple on their way hme.. asks d husband to show his license and registration… He den asks him to do things like touchin his nose wid his index finger etc.. Seein tis d wife gets pissed off and jumps out d car.. Matt Dillon is amused.. He den turns his attention to d pretty wife.. he feels her up.. puts his hands up her thighs to check if she wuz “clean”.. to check if she had ammunition.. and den he lets her go..

D very next day he finds d same woman stuck in a car.. D car wud blow up any minute.. its turned upside down and therz a leak.. He gets in and pulls her out.. D woman screams on seein him.. tells him to get his fuckin hands off her.. isn’t thr any1 else who can help me..? she wailed.. he calms her down and manages to pull her out seconds b4 d car blows up in smokes..

My personal favourite.. a plumber.. He comes hme one nite to find his daughter hiding under her bed.. He asks her why she wuz down thr..

She says “daddy I heard a bang of a gun”..
He says.. “oh shoot ykno wot honey.. I forgot to give u sumthin on yer 5th bday..”
she says.. “wot daddy..?”
he says.. “nevamind u wont believe me.. a fairy came to my room one nite..”
she said “yea rite..”
he says.. “see I told ya.. u wudnt believe me”
she says.. “no no temme”
he says “ oh okie if u insist.. so neways d fairy came and gave me an invisible chain to wear arnd my neck.. she said dat it wud protect me frm bullets and all things evil in dis world.. so do u wanna feel it now..?”

(thrusts out his hand to her)

she: but I don’t feel nethin..
he: dats rite.. u wont.. it’s a magic chain.. do u want it..??

(she nods)

he: well den come on up lemme tie it fer u..
(he pretends to untie a chain frm arnd his neck and ties it to her neck)
he:well thr ya go.. now u’re safe..

Exactly 24 hrs latrz.. an arab guy points a gun @ d plumber.. d grl on seein her father bein attacked.. leaps on him.. d man’s aim hits d lil grl..

D grl whispers into her father’s ears.. “u’re okie daddy.. ill protect u”..

D anguish on d plumber’s face on holdin d wounded body of his 5 yr old grips yer soul..

But wen he feels her bak,he finds no wound..


A spoilt rich bratty wife played by Sandra Bullock.. Shez d DA’s wife.. Shez pissed off wid life in general.. she whines bout it to her rich frnd.. A few mins latrz.. she twists her ankle.. All her rich frnds are way too busy.. D only person who stands by her is her maid..

All d above wud only b merely grazin d story line of dis amazing flick..

Generally wen ppl ask me “dude wot kinda movies do u watch..?” my response wud b “oh no serious ones plzz.. less brain work and loads o comedy is just abt rite”

But tis movie wuz nethin but less brain work and comedy.. It wuz life.. D hard realities of life.. Racism, stewpidity,youngsters going wild, sanile old men and women..

Watch it.. It triggers all d rite emotions.. It wud hit all dose nerves wich u left untouched and forgotten in d locked corners of yer soul...

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

My trip to A.I.R

About a week ago I received a letter from our very own All India Radio.. I wuz offered to broadcast a programme on d topic “humour in youth”... I tossed d paper aside after glancing thru d gloomy contents.. But my mom wuz one enthu patani about d whole thing.. “mole go fer it.. don’t miss tis opportunity” and so on.. she went ballistic.. so to satisy yet anotha one of my mother’s whims.. I sat down and typed bout my own life.. which is a neva ending comedy neways.. so d “youth” wud find my so called “script” humourous..

After 25 mins of head scratching and frantic typing.. I came up wid sumthin.. My experience as a fresher.. I passed it on to coupla frnds.. I got d following comments..

1.u call tis humour in youth..? tis is more like dark demented sarcasm in youth
2.u’re really good @ tis.. u shud write stuff like dis more often

But my mother of corse wuz ecstatic dat her child typed a coupla sentences in d language passed on by d british widout any grammatical errors..

So I called a Ms. Meenaxi.. ( a very sleepy soundin woman)

Me : M’am I received a letter frm AIR bout broadcastin a programme on “humour in youth”
Meens: Aaa ** yawn**
Me: M’am so wen do I come ova..? don’t u want to read my script,make corrections etc..
Meens: of corse… plzz drop by on Tuesday after 11 am..

And so on a hot Tuesday morning wid d birds chirping wid parched throats and d sun beatin down my bak.. ma and I drove upto d AIR station..

Our nations radio station looked like it wud collapse any minute.. D building and d employees looked like relics/ ancient antique pieces..

I waited in Meenaxi’s office fer about an hr..

Finally a rolly polly exhausted looking woman trodded in..

I got up frm d plastic chair I wuz sittin on and wished her.. She grabbed my “script” frm me and glanced thru d contents fer about 2 seconds or less..

After dat she asked me to come again d next day fer my recording..

So d next day mom and I made d treachourous zillion kms trip all d way upto d AIR station..

Once again I walked upto Meenaxi mam’s office and I found d woman in a trance.. Half sleepin.. half staring into space..

She saw me and her response wuz a yawn..

Her : u’re gayatri no..?
Me: yes ma’m
Her: ahh **yawn** can I plzz read d script..
( takes out a pen wid her chubby fingers and makes an attempt to read my script again.. she marked out d 1st word in d 1st paragraph..)
Her: okie.. pleez wait downstairs.. kiiindly wait downstairs
Me: hmm..

So mez waitin in d lobby.. after bout 15 mins chubbs walks out and I follow her to an airconditioned room..

2 nervous looking woman are being interviewed by a domineerin interviewer.. D room gets filled in no time wid men wid tiny twig like ponies frm d middle portion of ther heads.. carnatic singers I presumed..

Chubs suddenly comes runnin out and makes motions wid her hands..

So I walk upto her and we walk together to d recordin booth..

She mumbles “we’ll try to make it more funny ma”

I start reading my script.. and after I wuz done.. she montioned wid dose chubby hands once again..

She wuz beaming wen I walked in “dat wuz really good ma”.. and she gives me a half smile..

Whoah d woman hz emotions odder dan sleepin and looking bored I thot to myself on seein her tiny teeth..

And dats how my day ended.. Soon I will receive a cheque fer 200 bucks.. and I signed a contract wid d station.. So mez officially a part time employee of our nations sleepy shoddy radio station..

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

College..

A few days in the life of a college freshman…

For 14 years I lived in a cocoon called school where I was lead like a sheep by my teachers.. Then I joined the big bad world.. or college..

The very 1st day of college I was nervous.. very very nervous.. butterflies fluttered in my stomach.. I thought to myself.. ‘will my classmates accept me for who I am..? Would I be a member the “cool gang” or the “nerdy gang”…?

I walked into my Ist B.sc Electronic Media classroom and I saw a sea of faces.. my anxiety and worries doubled.. I observed that people were already in their respective groups..

And so for the next 3-4 months I had a hard time tryin to get to know my classmates…

We barely got to know each other when our seniors and our profs told us that the college freshers culturals were just around the corner.. so for the next 3 weeks there was a flurry of activity.. All of us flaunting our talents to woo our seniors,get their attention and finally participate in all the events..

Our rival department’s every move was being watched by us like hawks.. We tried our level best to outdo them.. Each event we won.. we’d smirk at them shamelessly.. Surely this is what they call healthy competition.. More like a war maybe.. Survival of the smartest and the fittest..

Now fastforwarding to the present..

I’m in a group called “high decibel”… as the name suggests we’re a bunch of loud maniacs..

We believe in playing hard and working harder.. Luckily for us,most of our assignments,projects,seminars and reports are group work.. So 6 people pair up to form a group.. Our brainstorming sessions happen at a coffee pub right next to college.. The coffee and d knick knacks we eat fuel our thinking.. Great ideas are hence nurtured in the confines of a food joint..


Today was the very last day of our Ist year of college.. and we made full use of it..

We were jobless as usual.. It all started with a piece of paper which caught my attention.. I shaped it into a rocket and before we knew it,we were flyin rockets..

The game shifted to “catch-catch” and finally “book cricket”..

The umpire of the game being a close friend whispered in my ear when it was my turn to bat “don’t worry girl..ill make sure u don’t get run out or bowled” and we grinned wickedly at each other..

The game was fun even though my team lost I felt like a winner because I finally was in a group.. was accepted with all my flaws.. and more than anything else.. I could just hang loose and be who I am..

The games we played through the year.. made me realize that we were still little kids inside.. we have grown physically but mentally we’re all just a bunch of 12 year olds having a whale of a time..

Being the disgusting foodaholic I am.. I visit my college canteen at least once a day… Now our college canteen would resemble a railway station.. people pushin and pullin with platters of amazing food...

My gang and I plop onto empty chairs and sit in a circle and the eating fest begins.. We order a zillion dishes,which gets finished in a matter of seconds..

The sight of us eating is not pretty.. Hands all over the place plucking parathas or a clatter of spoons in the sambhar sadam.. We closely resemble pigs in a sty.. After the food is done with we march back to class.. A trechorous 4 staircases up is our classroom..

With bellies drooping to the ground and burping loudly and panting and puffing.. We finally make it to our class.. And we plop onto our wooden benches with relief..

Now id like to move on to our dear profs without whom our college life would be incomplete..

Any prof walking into our class would stand open mouthed.. the class would always be in complete chaos.. People screamin,laughin loudy,talking on their mobile phones etc..

My personal favourite is my English prof.. the minute she comes to class..i pop up like a spring and start reading the lesson she had in mind to lecture us on for the day.. She is a
rolly polly adorable woman who grants our every wish.. free classes and having little naps is what we do most of the time in her class..

And as they say there is always a dark side to the moon.. we have some horrible spinsters who handle classes for us as well.. The less spoken about them the better..

College life as a whole can be described in 1 sentence.. The best days of any individual’s life.. relish it.. drink in every minute of it.. because it does’nt last long..

I’m sad that my 1st year got over so soon.. Time has flown so fast.. it seems like just yesterday I wrote my entrance exam for the Electronic Media course..