Saturday, June 24, 2023

Swaroop Chettan

I'm a widow, a single mom and an obsessive communications professional for the whole world. But for Swaroop chettan, I'll always be a five year old. I could see the pain in his eyes as I described my illogical love for work, the rituals i did over my husband's dead body and his murderous company and how they easily washed their hands off him, the minute he died.

I've loved this man, ever since I was a baby. He would make me sit on the steps of his three storey house and run away from me, because I would cling onto him for dear life, all day, everyday. And no child likes a cling on baby sister.

When his sister got married, I wanted to play a game of cards and he looked me straight in the face and said, "But this game is only for grown-ups. Kindly sit back and observe. You are not welcome." I was 23 years old at the time. 

When his wife met me in Calcutta nine years ago, along with their first born child, she told my late husband, "I always thought Gayatri was a seven year old, the way Swaroop described her. Then i saw Gayatri in-person and realised she's a fully grown adult woman." Then she laughed along with my late husband, who happily confirmed, "Yes. She's till a child in an adult's body."

I'm not sure whether I like being infantilized or I hate it. I'm conflicted. I have a 4.5 year old now, who I gave birth to, yet my siblings don't take me seriously. I'll always be "Gayu" and "Gaayti" for them. 

Ever since I was a teenager I've handed Swaroop chettan a big invisible basket, which I've been filling up with scandalous secret after secret, and I've told him to shut up about it. I'm not sure if I've given him BP and pressure over the years, with my antics. But i know he always has my back.

He has passed on his obsessive love for superheros to me and I have passed it onto my son. If there's a funny bone in me and if I'm even slightly cool as a person, it's all thanks to Swaroop chettan and Arjun chettan.

I love these boys obsessively. They've been my first loves, after appuppan and achan of course and Ive always sought their characterics in my life partner. Solid, reliable and always standing up for their partners. (Now I don't want to speak to their partners to confirm all this - they might beat me with slippers or just smile and nod)

Brothers, what can you do without them really? I'm blessed to have these two. 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh Gayoo we always love to see and remember you as that good old child though in an adult body. Whenever we meet you unknowingly you become that child whom we all loved and adored as the youungest baby in the family.