The Reluctant Pant Wearer

A dear friend of mine and my late husband's whispered in my ears a few days after he passed away, "You've always worn the pants in this relationship, so just continue doing that now. You'll be fine." I know he meant it with pure intentions because as a couple we were very fond of him and he cared deeply about us too.

In that moment, I didn't have a response, I just felt empty and sad that I was truly all alone in the world. Looking back at that moment minus the widow-lenses, it's harrowing to see societal expectations out of a man and a woman post marriage. She has to be the bread winner, the family glue and the caretaker of the house and all it's residents. The man on the other hand, just has to be the bread winner and crack a few jokes now and then.

How is this fair? How is a woman expected to juggle work, children, aging parents and household chores without losing her cool? If this is what makes a woman, "wear the pants in the relationship", that's a very skewed and unfair perspective of women.

Does helping with the baby and household chores make a man, less of a man. Didn't both individuals decide to build that life together? Then why does the responsibility only fall on one person's shoulders? 

So no, I never wanted to wear the pants in that relationship and I don't want to wear it going forward either. I'm officially throwing away those pants, because I've always been a skirt and dress girl.

Boo to patriarchy and cheers to equality!