Malling

Malling without you,

Is an experience that is brand new,

For both Riaan and me,

Doesn't help, that we keep passing Home Center, Starbucks, Miniso and Hamleys, among the sea,

Of other brands,

Only the brands you frequented and loved, stands, 

Out and tall,

As we try our best, not to bawl,

The baby mutters endlessly, "Baba, maamaa and me, came to the mall",

While I shake my head absentmindedly, with my brisk walking slowing down to a crawl,

A feeling of breathlessness takes over,

I'm unable to run away from it, however hard I try, to take cover,

The day before you died,

We had gone to R-City mall. We tried,

Shopping for you,

But you groaned and moaned and told me repeatedly, that shopping was a chore and that you felt out of place and blue,

In that moment, your happiest place was being at home, 

In front of your laptop, your eyes a vigilant comb,

"Tomorrow's meeting is super important for me",

I nodded my head, nestled cozily on your lap, those were our moments of calm, minus the naughty bee,

I knew you were stressed,

I felt far from blessed,

To live with a husband who was always snappy and on the move,

Your death only went to prove,

That nothing and nobody is worth your peace of mind,

I wish you learnt to unwind,

I have no one to take me malling anymore,

I'm all alone, forever more.