Numb

I have moments of being numb,

Where I stick to just being a mum,

From one toddler meal to the next,

Your son's food demands have me hexed,

I have no time for you anymore,

Thinking about all the stupid decisions you took, is anyway such a chore,

Haven't dreamt of you in a while,

Perhaps the very thought of your death, induces me with bile,

I'm filled with moments of calm,

But I know, the feeling is merely a ticking time bomb,

Mundane conversations trigger memory flashes,

Then I painfully recall, that I have already dug out your ashes,

You are in peace,

I know this for sure, because I'm finding the strength to put together the pieces.