Waiting

Sometimes I catch myself waiting for you,

Our life right now, is not so different, from what it was while we lived with you,

After all, it’s only Monday through Thursday,

You’ll be back on Friday,

We’ll have lots to do and say over the weekend,

Fights to fight, gourmet food to eat and friends,

Lots of friends, old and new, to meet,

Especially Riaan’s friends, those chance encounters, where I found myself taking a backseat,

He’s a chatty one,

Our little one,

Definitely taken after his appuppan and me,

It fills my heart with glee,

To watch him bond and play,

Best thing to do, is get out of his way,

That’s been our week and what about yours?

Yanked open a few more doors?

In the oil and gas space?

As long as you’re happy, it’s all good, please don’t get stuck in a soulless rat race,

Quit, whenever you want to,

All that matters is your happiness and you,

You never have to fend for the child and me,

I’ll step back to work soon and you will have to pitch in, with our family of three,

Please remember, having a baby was not my decision alone,

Then why am I, single-handedly, having to deal with his baby groans and moans?

Please step in, 

I assure you, its a win-win,

You nodded along vacantly, until you didn’t,

A single mother, was what I shouldn’t,

Have been,

You never wanted a family, did you? Quickly come clean,

If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have worked like a machine,

Always staring into a screen,

Even when you were alive, you were missing,

With you dead, I find myself reminiscing,

About all the good times and the bad, peppered with an ample number of lonely days,

I have to remind myself, you’re never coming back, not even on Sundays,

I’m faced with a lifetimes of loneliness,

While you’re busy enjoying your afterlife, filled with warmth and homeliness.