Timing

Just as I was wrapping my head around being a mother, was the time I lost my partner of close to 13 years. The timing was horrible. 

I felt like a resident of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, taking a nice early morning dump. But instead of enjoying my morning session, an atomic bomb was dropped on my head.

Perhaps my 2 year old had to grow up very quickly. I could hardly be human, forget parenting. It completely took a backseat as I focused on rebuilding the broken pieces of our life.

I worked just like my late husband would had he been alive - relentlessly and without a break. Within 2 years, I was rushed to the hospital for breathlessness and fatigue. That was clearly not a good plan.

And so I decided to course correct. Now, I work and parent, juggling both like a headless chicken. Mother's can never have it all, especially working mothers. We have deadlines to meet at work and tests to catch up with in school.

My weekdays are all over the place. I have no idea when it begins and when it ends. The weekends just fly by, before I can breathe in a warm glass of cocoa. 

I also try to stay in shape and kill myself in the process. What a tiring life this is. I hear menopause is just around the corner, or is it a decade away. Time will tell I suppose.

Send sugar free chocolates and prayers, my child and I need them.