Of Muses, Music, and Unfulfilled Desires

Music and food are my core memories. There are certain songs that instantly remind my son and me of his late father. John Legend's "All of Me" is one of them. He would play this song on repeat, chuckle, and say, "Did you know he was a management consultant too, just like me? He quit very early, though, to become a musician. I want to follow in his footsteps, Poopie."

In hindsight, I wish he had. He might still be alive today. If he had, I could have worn tiny bikinis and danced around in front of him while he made romantic, best-selling music videos. I digress, though; those are just my fantasies.

My late husband's original compositions were far from romantic, and they definitely gave me palpitations on stressful days. In fact, he composed a track for me titled "Poopie Monster." I have no idea where he saved it on his devices, so it is lost forever. I was someone's musical muse. What a pity it is that I don't even remember the melody anymore.

My late husband's life is a classic example of unfulfilled desires. We take for granted the time we have on Earth, pushing our deepest wishes to another day. But that day may never come. That is why it is so important to grab that superbike, be loud and screechy, and just be your authentic self—today and every day.

I definitely don't want to die young, nor do I want to die without living out all my deep, dark desires. I want to start by swimming in a pool filled with gooey chocolate sauce, drinking it now and then between laps. Can Willy Wonka hear me now?

So, go be a musician, drown yourself in a pool of chocolate, or do whatever it is that you truly want to do. Life is unpredictable. Absolutely nothing is in our control except for right now. Live in the moment—vicariously, fully, and wholeheartedly.