Toddler Meltdowns

Woke up quiet as a mouse,

Scurried around like a thief in my own house,

Just as I begin to relieve my bladder,

My bundle lets out a blood-curdling wail, sounding madder and madder,

"How dare you wake up mumma?",

He scratches on my bathroom door without a pause or a comma,

When I step out, I'm greeted with more screams,

And twisted schemes,

"You should have woken me up!",

He rattles on, like a toy that's wound-up, 

The next fight brews post bath,

I didn't do the math,

Of tying up the nada of his track pants,

He wanted to do it all by himself he rants,

"It needs two tugs",

"Not three, you nasty old girl", at this point I wished I had earplugs,

Toddler meltdowns,

There's no need to feel down,

At some point they zip it,

And slowly admit,

To being clowns,

Now I'm off to work, back to resetting my crown,

All is well with the world,

Until the next toddler meltdown is unfurled.