Monday, April 24, 2006

Sinagara Chennai’s not so singara roads and traffic..

June 2005 marked d turning point in my life.. d beginning of an era perhaps.. I wuz getting into college.. wich implied license to drive.. FINALLY..!

I waited fer tis day my whole life.. I pictured myself drivin on one of em race bikes.. id zip by wid d world watchin in awe.. jus like in d movies..

But my folks had odder plans.. they did not approve of their youngest child drivin arnd in a bike.. a maruti 800 wud b jus fine they said.. but I didn’t give in.. I wanted a bike.. and dat wuz dat..

So d following month I got a brand new purple TVS Scooty Pep.. well.. not exactly wot I had in mind.. but @ least it sumwot resembled d bike in my head’s lil cousin.. :/

And as all beginners I had a few minor knocks now and den.. My wake up call came wen I had a major accident.. a bus knockin me down frm behind.. d bike and I flew in d air (matrix eesshhtyle) and I scrapped on d road fer a while.. broken bones, a bloody face and sum skin bein ripped apart..

Folks were hell bent on getting me d car now.. but I got bak on my bike in 7 days.. and I got a piercing done as well to prove to d world.. “I aint a sissy.. if life throws me limes I make lime juice”

Now I think im a seasoned rider.. its been a year now since Ive been drivin on d roads of chennai.. and I wud like to categorise d traffic as follows:

D honkers – As the name suggests these folks honk their horns fer no rhyme or reason.. im thinking mebbe they want attention.. like a spoilt brat who craves fer attention frm his/her parents all d time..

D starers - These folks jus look u up and down.. they hv a bewildered look in their eyes.. they look @ u wid a look dat says.. “hmm.. thr are odder human beings I co-exist wid on dis blue blob planet”

D strays – These folks are very much like stray dogs.. no clue bout wots goin on arnd them.. they act on impulse.. they may jump in fronta yer vehicle @ any time.. and if u hit them by accident.. gawd bless u’re soul.. my sympathies are wid u..

D buses and the auto rickshaws - I don’t hv a nick name fer buses and autos cuz they are a league apart.. they think they own d roads and hence stop whereva and weneva they want to.. they mite go slow or go fast.. (they prolly hv mood swings often) and of corse a special mention fer d auto drivers.. money suckin hounds.. so tackle wid caution..

D gap seekers – I belong to dis category.. :D we folks spot d gaps in a traffic jam.. sqeeuze in and drive away unhurt (touch wood) therefore we save a lotta time and fuel..

D road huggers – these folks drive rather crawl like snails right in d middle of d road.. u mite b late fer college, late to meet a frnd, late fer a movie perhaps.. but u cant do a darn thing abt it.. u either crawl behind em or honk fer approximately 10 mins after wich road hugger mite move a lil to give u way..

12 comments:

Russel said...

Russ : this post was funny..... pierced rocker chick n all ^:)^ got here through orkut..
u would rule on the streets of bombay(my home town)
http://russworld.rediffblogs.com
not updated in a while :p
tc

Mythreyee said...

ROTFL! 'road huggers'!!! perfect definition! :D :D :D n i belong 2 da gap seeker family 2 :D hehe.. luv drivin fast, but im pretty careful.. dun find da gaps all da time. der r dese dudes wid stupid horns out der JUZ 2 scare u outta yer skin... crapasses.. beats me how dey can b so confident abt wat dey do - cycle gap-la auto otarthu! :P

Dante said...

nice...very nice....u have laid down a veritable taxonomy of sorts for the species on chennai roads....u rock babe

Unicorn said...

Be glad that you live in chennai and not in b'lore. Or you would need to add some more categories.

Arun Das said...

Nice nomenclature. I guess Im in da gapseekers category too. Hey we are peas after all.
I think you missed the 'traffic signal pushers' category. They do everthing possible to jump the line of vechiles, be it riding on the wrong side of the road or jumping over dividers. Once they have accomplished their goal (making it to the front) and the signal green they take off at the record breaking, sonic boom creating speed of 10 km/hr. What do these people really accomplish by gettin in front of the line just to watch everyone else (read me) zoom past?

My, that was a long rant.

~nsk said...

hehe well put...n dont even talk of the road huggers grrrr...to sweet a name for them:D

sowmya said...

hey i guess i belon to the honkers n the gap seekers!!! tht was hilarious....i share ur feelings... esp the strays... curse them!!!

bunky jumping pundit said...

fantastic post......very interesting....my eyes got glued to my monitor till i finished reading it..good job..great work......keep it up...

vinay said...

hate chennai traffic...there is another kid as well...

the time "less" travellers:::when the count down at the signal is in last ten seconds..n the signal is red..they honk the horn as if they have a divine right to go in the last ten seconds..gosh!!!!!

ajay said...

you forgot about the death wishers....
they are the ones in a hurry to catch that one way flight to make the appointment with st.peters in time..

manu said...

hehe. funny blog...
i belong to the gap seeker category too.... i guess all the young do...and i jsut hate the honkers...pisses me off like anything....n this categories exist everywhere ive ever been too.... living dangerously are we

i am happy said...

hilllaaarrriiiooousss!!! hahahahahaha