Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Writer’s block

I have been wanting to blog about Memoirs Of A Geisha.. a movin tale of the life of a Geisha woman.. It really hit some nerves.. and I did shed a few tears..

I have also been wanting to blog about my trip to bangalore where I saw the complete transformation of my chammatu pavam older sister into a frenzied shopping bitch..

But the words have run dry.. Nothing seems to inspire me enough anymore to sit down and blog..

I have changed..

I had left chennai for 1 month.. I had gone to my native town.. Trivandrum.. and when I returned I noticed a lot of changes..

Some of my closest friends for instance fell in love.. and suddenly I felt like an older unmarried 30 year old being critically scrutinized by smug married couples..

“so tell me gayatri.. why is that fine physical specimens like you have still not found a guy..”

“I’m sorry.. u cant expect me to dump my girlfriend for u to catch gigs in the city anymore, u will have to bring along another friend” and

“I think u should start expanding your social circle a wee bit more old girl.. your guy is just around the corner.. but u will have to take the initiative to bump into him”

Is this the mating season..? If so, I need to be on a different planet.. I choose to remain single,happy and carefree..

Now let me boil down to the essense of this blog.. I think I did have a soft corner for someone.. it could’nt have been love.. too soon to think in those lines.. but I did get very close to him in a very short span of time.. he was like a drug.. I could’nt seem to get enough of him.. as the day ended I waited for the next day and the next and the next just to be around him..

He was a complete stranger to me for about 3 whole months.. I didn’t think much of him.. the typical “die u bugs” im a kick ass guitarist from a kick ass band attitude seemed to be oozing from him.. and plus.. he was a mallu.. all the more reason for me to ignore the twirp..

A week before I left for my native place.. I sent him a funny offline sumthing in the lines of “so catch u on the streets of tvm matey.. ill be there for 1 whole month”

He replied to this with his number.. I was a little surprised considering the fact we barely knew each other..

I called him a week after I had settled in.. our phone conversations didn’t go too well either.. We just did not seem to click one bit..

But a week before I was to return to chennai.. he declared he would come home.. “are u sure” I asked.. “do u really want to take the pains of coming all the way to meet a complete stranger..? plus u would be interrogated by my crazy family.. so think about it”..

His response was “im good with families.. im sure ill be pretty comfortable and yes.. I do want to see u”

So 3 hours later.. I see a wiry scrawny guy with a smile brighter than surya bulb’s standing outside my gate..

And so we sit around jabbering and playin the guitar.. Time seemed to fly by and I didn’t notice..

When it was time for him to leave.. I thought.. “hmm.. nice guy.. I made a huge error of character judgement..”

Out loud I said.. “thanks for coming mate.. this was fun”

He responded.. “im free tommorow as well..” He left the sentence dangling in mid-air..

I gushed “Oh yaay..” Exactly what he expected to hear..

And so we meet like that a couple more times.. each time I got a little bit more anxious to see him,to talk to him,to get to know him better..

The last day we meet was pretty painful.. I’m lousy with goodbyes.. so when he said.. “ill miss u babe”.. I said.. “yes yes.. me too,u too,oh sheesh.. just leave already”.. :/

And that was that.. the maxim “geography gets in the way of history and ruins chemistry” followed suit..

Sure we did chat online, talk on the fone.. But I know.. its over.. Whatever it was..

He’ll move on with his life, forgetting every detail I mentioned above..

I’ll mope over it for a couple more days.. Remembering all the details.. The lines on his face, the tone of his voice, that smile, the mallu slang, the smell of his deo..

Time heals they say.. well Mr. Time.. I’m waiting.. heal me..


ajay said...

hang in there girl..
k fine im in one of my moods..but still fantasy is any day better than doomsday visions..

hey and i resnt the negative implications of the word mallu ..

Yasser Rahman said...

Theres no solution for love but to love more...and Mr.Time will come..but youl need to find him as well :)

Great Blog By the way...loved the way you get your point accross :)

Mythreyee said...

hon, things wil b alright... life always gets better... *hugs* i can relate so much 2 evry post of urs that its a lil scary at times! :) n dont u feel left out bein da single 1... i used to too, but things wil happen wen they r sposed 2... u juz keep waitin... :) or v've always got our single-at-40-popcorn-pact :D

Sreenath said...

Each time i read this... i feel weird. Not in a -ve way.... smethin +ve...
And no... i still havent forgotten the details.
The colour of ur hair, the echo of ur sniggers, the nose ring, the time wid the toblerone on the terrace :P ... the last hug gudbye....
Wait till i reach Chennai... ;)

manu said...

U write pretty honestly.... appreciate dat.... n i guess by now u have prolly met Mr.Time.
N love isnt a one time thing as so wrongly told.... it will come...again....and again and again... so be ready :)