Headspace

How do you pull yourself out of a dark headspace,

Give yourself space,

And keep pace with the demons in your head,

Talk to them, take the lead, 

Allow yourself to feel all the pain,

Make friends with your sadness, you have much to gain,

Revisit the moments that cut you in half,

Over and over again, until you can laugh,

One day, you'll look back and feel proud,

That you disallowed,

Your sorrow to take over your life,

It was nothing but a passing cloud that caused some strife,

You're still you,

Just less blue, you suddenly have the choice of starting life anew,

Make bold choices,

Tune out all the white noises,

You've made it this far,

So keep raising the bar.

The Water

I took to water, like fish to the sea,

It's the only place, I feel free,

Unburdened from worldly responsibilities,

I must've been a big fat whale, pooping and farting as I pleased,

Not a care in the world,

Just a tummy to fill, inside a cool blue waterworld,

It's highly unlikely I was a mermaid,

Look at the figure on that thing, I'm full fat, food and sweet liqueur made,

On a serious note,

I vote,

For an hour long swim,

Each time you feel low, stressed or burdened to the brim, 

Your worries flow away with the water,

Lap after lap, gives you time to ponder,

On what went wrong and what didn't,

When you emerge out of the water you feel coherent,

Life must flow,

Just like water, there's only so much you can control and know,

So hold your breath and breathe underwater,

Try not to eat like a pig, post that swim and you may even look hotter.  

Five Almonds

I once met this gorgeous bald headed uncle,

Who had no trouble,

Staying fit,

His techniques were a hit,

Even the trainers took lessons from him,

He advised me; eating five Almonds a day, is a sure shot way to stay trim,

"Guess my age?", he asked one day,

"50", I replied, without delay,

He chuckled and said, "I'm 60, dear girl",

"Eat five almonds everyday, to make your face look radiant like a pearl"

So I've been eating those five almonds everyday,

To keep my weight at bay,

The one commonality between uncle and me,

Is the lack of hair, mine are ready to flee,

From my crown everyday,

But I'm eating those five almonds everyday.

Shopping with Mommy

Shopping with Mommy,

Is no tomfoolery, 

She will ensure a hole in your wallet,

And she's unwilling to call it,

Quits, until she finds the perfect shoe, bag or dress, 

Minus the stress,

She can fit an entire roadside fair,

Or a mall inside her Calonge handbag, to be fair,

She has a great eye for clothes and household decor,

She's happy to explore,

A million shops for a painting or a vase,

A bedsheet or a new lamp, for she will find space,

In her curio cluttered house,

That has zero space for even a mouse,

How anyone can shop like this, is a mystery,

Your wallet is sure to bite dust and warn you of history,

Shop with Mommy,

And you'll experience the equivalent of a human tsunami.

Mini-Me

My sweet little baby,

Who refuses to sleep without me and drives me crazy,

Today, he's all grown up, with two little wings,

Not kidding about the wings,

He's a firefly,

Just about to take the stage and deliver a few lines without feeling shy,

He's bold as brass,

Naughtiest in his class,

How fast did my little one grow,

Where did all the time go,

Just yesterday I gave birth to a pre-term baby,

And today he's all set to light up the stage with his crazy,

He's a loony one,

My little fellow, his idea of fun,

Is strange and absurd,

Most of his games will have you feeling dizzy and blurred,

On one hand, he still scratches the bathroom door while I'm having a bath,

On the other, he's already carving his own path,

He's an odd mixture of baby and mini-man,

His mind always filled with devious plans,

Blink and you'll find toilet paper ripped all over the floor,

Turn and you'll find a toy inside the flush, but who is keeping score,

I'm off to watch my firefly take stage,

I'll try not to shed a tear from backstage. 

Agasthya and Riaan

Was it love at first sight,

Or first fight,

No one can really pinpoint and say,

But the boys had a way,

Of gravitating towards each other, everyday,

Inseparable, the two and one can spot the other, from far away,

One is heartbroken, if the other doesn't attend school,

All is well and cool,

As long as they have each other,

Stuffing napkins and dirt in their water bottles, destruction and plunder,

Is the route they love to take,

Their affection for each other is far from fake,

After spending half a day in school,

The boys swap WhatsApp voice notes that sound both colourful and ghastful,

Riaan promptly reports his projectile vomiting sessions,

To Agasthya, with soulful expressions,

And Agasthya replies, "Are you joking?",

Riaan swiftly retorts with something provoking,

Agasthya and Riaan, the dynamic terrorizing duo,

All you can do, is stand by, watch helplessly and go with the flow.

KFC Bouquet

Two decades since I've been dreaming of a KFC Bouquet,

The best gift on any given day,

Why has this gorgeous deep fried goodness,

Wrapped in dreamy paper, not been invented yet, has the world been neglected of this on purpose,

I should start a KFC Bouquet business on the side,

I'm sure my clientele would be from far and wide,

Just picture that KFC Bouquet for a second,

It's a force to be reckoned,

It's sure to make anyone go weak in the knees,

Work stress, marital fights, family disputes, it has the power to freeze,

Let me not waste time now,

I'm off to buy a KFC bucket and some cellophane wrap, I'm going to give myself the gift of a KFC Bouquet, look at it and say wow!

Boon or Bane

That gooey delight,

Brown and delicious, a mouthwatering sight,

For sore eyes, 

The dark ones claim to make you wise,

Grab some after lunch and dinner,

And perhaps for all the meals in-between, and try not to feel like a sinner,

Dark, milky, white or stuffed generously with nuts,

Your heart will go nuts,

For chocolates,

Both big and small, round and squared, everyone's favourite,

Find me a person who hates chocolates,

Perhaps their skins would be flawless,

But their hearts would be shrunken and empty,

Their minds painfully heavy,

For what is life without chocolates,

Meaningless, pointless and tasteless.

Skinny Man

A colleague at work,

With his funky shirts,

Always border lining between formals and informals,

While his shirts are cool, what's paranormal,

Is his weight,

He shows me his nonexistent belly and says, "mate",

Ate a triple cheese burger last night,

And I fume, this isn't right,

I just drank water last night,

And look at my belly, that's far from light,

While he's ageing in reverse,

My love handles get worse,

In his defence, he works out even in his sleep,

While I'm sleepwalking in my colony and dodging the occasional Jeep,

One day I'll get skinny,

Until then, I'll try not to be whiny. 

Next Life Dreams

It's good to be ambitious, 

No need to be judicious,

When dreaming a little dream,

But what if I told you all my dreams ran out of steam,

I always wanted to be an actress,

Dance around a few trees, earn a couple of crores, but my eating and figure were both disastrous,

Next, I wanted to work in Pizza Hut,

Just to gobble down half a dozen pizzas and stuff my gut,

I genuinely wanted to join the army,

But was fiercely dissuaded by mommy,

I wanted to be a journalist,

But my salary could hardly cover all the samosas I gobbled in chutney mixed with chillies and mint,

I wanted to be a sexy mermaid,

Once again, I got played,

Why be half fish and half woman,

Just to be deep fried and eaten by man,

I wanted to be a space cowboy,

But the job is apparently for a boy,

Dream a little dream,

Make sure they don't run out of steam.

That Time Of The Month

That time of the month,

When you're body writhes in pain and you just want to be blunt,

Don't touch, don't talk and don't expect the moon,

We'll be back to our normal selves soon,

But for the next five days,

Just allow us to be in our haze,

Everything hurts,

There's a volcano in our tummies, so excuse us if we're curt,

You can throw chocolates our way,

And run away,

We'd appreciate the sweet treats,

And munch on them as our aching bodies squeak,

That time of the month,

That wretched time of the month,

Where tornadoes, typhoons and storms,

Feel far better than the swarm,

Like attack,

That makes us feel like useless sacks.

Weekdays and Weekends

How fast do the weekends fly,

It makes me want to cry,

I enjoy the emptiness of the brain,

And the lack of strain,

Weekdays fly by too,

But with a lot of hullabaloo,

There are deadlines to meet,

And some tasks on repeat,

Monday hits you hard on the face,

And suddenly you're forced to speeden your pace,

Forgotten are the afternoon naps,

Instead you brace yourself for some solid raps, 

You find yourself counting the days down for the weekend,

That glorious end,

To a busy week,

In the interim, try not to shriek,

Chocolates exist only to relieve stress,

So pop on them vigorously, to clear the mind's mess. 

Yellow Laddus

Laddus or leddo, as mallus call them,

Each time I crave it, my mind goes mmmm,

Memories of ammumma deep frying the boondis,

Inside a huge cauldron of ghee, that comforting fragrance I miss,

Along with the sight of ammumma meticulously rolling them inside her chubby fingers,

The taste lingers,

In the back of my mouth even today,

As I order away,

On Zomato, for that delicious box of childhood,

I know deep down, it won't be as good,

As ammumma's laddus,

Or leddos,

As she called them.

Dear Bridget

Dear Bridget,

I have a little midget,

Minus my Mr Darcy,

In fact, I've forgotten my Darcy,

The world is filled with Cleavers now,

Who charm you and make you go wow,

But before you get to the main course or dessert,

They've told you to divert,

They were just looking for starters,

So let's not be martyrs,

We move along,

And force ourselves to sing a happy song,

Of course when friends banter about their happy homes,

I disappear like Sherlock Holmes,

"You won't die alone", they reassure,

I chuckle and retort, "How can you be sure?",

It's a lonely world Bridget,

But at least I have my midget.

Happiness is Hardwork

No one is truly happy,

And always sappy,

No one's life is perfect,

Look close and you'll find the spots that are wrecked,

You can cry over it,

Or choose to pull yourself out of that pit,

Happiness is hard work,

Choosing to do the inner work,

Takes effort and courage,

Give yourself a solid nudge,

To snap out of that toxic rut,

Believe your gut,

And have faith that good things are yet to come,

Until that time, strum or drum,

A happy tune,

And stay immune,

To negative thoughts.

Insomnia

The brain has not shut up since 4.30AM,

On weekdays it's asleep till 4.30P.M,

Gulmohar Malare has been playing in my head,

However hard I try to rest in bed,

It's been a mishmash of craving poha and wanting to tell Prasanth,

No bro, dupattas cannot be tied around any man,

When women themselves find it annoying,

It's scratchy around the neck, and was meant only for destroying,

I've burnt all three of mine,

Archaic, it's design,

And pointless it's existence,

I have been consistent in my resistance,

Of not wearing dupattas,

Now tell me what is Gulmohar Malare,

And most importantly where have I heard this annoying song,

I find it strange that I'm singing along,

Get out of my head you funny song,

You're in the wrong,

Find another brain to haunt,

For I just want,

To catch up on my beauty sleep,

Find some other brain to creep,

Zzzzzzzzzz.

Bread Halwa

Is there anything more decadent than bread halwa,

In the world of halwas,

No, no and no,

Come to think of it, even Shahi tukda is fabulous you know,

Bread, sugar, milk, ghee and butter,

What's not to love, you instantly feel less bitter,

The world is a happier place again,

Suddenly your inner strength regains,

Some sugar and carbs,

Is all it takes to make your heart soar like the birds,

If you've seen babies on sugar high,

You haven't seen me fly,

With a little bit of sugar in my system,

My entire being glistens,

Sugar, my darling sugar,

I wish you weren't such a nasty bugger,

All my meals would have started and ended with you,

Now I find myself sneaking a chocolate or two,

Whenever the brain is fried,

And I instantly dream of ghee fried,

Crushed, crumbled and crispy,

Bread based desserts, that I'm sure I'll gobble way beyond fifty.

A Meaty Feast

Food makes me delirious,

The mood instantly becomes less serious,

The chatter becomes more garbled,

Just like all the mish-mash of food that was gobbled,

Prawn 65, kola urundai, mutton stew,

Bread halwa, chicken curry and copious amounts of rice that will make you want to stay,

Each meat had a distinct flavour,

A crispy crunch, a gooey slurp, a soothing sip, each bite a decadent favour,

To the eager mind,

More than the body, that's screaming, "you're mad!",

"Stop stuffing me up",

Unless you want to go straight up,

But live, I must,

For there's still so much more delicate meat in the world that cannot be missed,

Eat, I will,

And then sleep well,

For that's the natural order of things,

Eat, sleep, repeat, food is one of my favourite things,

The easiest way into my heart,

Is through food, pure art,

On a plate, 

You can be early or late,

But feed me,

And I just may,

Become your friend for life.

The Eternal Flux

A woman's weight is always in flux,

Green tea is consumed in copious cups,

But the mum-tum,

Refuses to budge, suddenly the double chin begins to hum,

Just when you thought you'd gotten rid of all that flab,

Thanks to a fever that happened five minutes ago, the gap,

Between your jean button and the button hole,

Begins to increase, weren't you a pole,

Just five minutes ago, along with that wretched fever,

It made you a believer,

Of looking 20 in your forties,

Then you realise, your body fat wants to be naughty,

It wants to take you for a ride,

You'll have to eat your main course as a side,

And drink water instead of food, whenever you're hungry,

I miss the good old days of wearing dungarees,

And closely resembling a round boy,

Such a killjoy,

Being a woman, you're expected to multitask,

And constantly keep track,

Of the weighing scale,

Scrutize every detail,

Look impossibly skinny,

Be pleasant like Minnie,

The mouse of course,

And show no remorse.

Cheesecakes

Blueberry, strawberry, caramel or plain,

One bite into this delicious cloud and you'll discover thunderclouds and a burst of rain,

Flooding your palate,

You're left with nothing but awe for the talent,

Who baked that subtle indulgence,

To cheesecakes I pledge my allegiance,

Today and everyday,

Until the day,

I crave some gaajar halwa,

I should probably stop the excess sugar intake, somebody call a,

Pharmacy and get me a weighing scale,

The mum-tum is slowly resembling that of a whale,

Up and down it goes,

Hopefully everything I wear just flows,

With the food baby, 

I give birth to after every meal, quite proudly and bravely,

Back to cheesecakes now,

Eat them now or later, but eat them anyhow,

And tell me you absolutely love it,

At a later date, we can find ways to get fit,

But for now, eat that cheesecake,

It's the best cake,

In the whole entire world.