However, over the last three years, I've stumbled across some "rowdy pasanga," for lack of a better word, and I'm so happy I'm single. What a time to try and find someone to marry—it's a bloodbath of emotional unavailability out there. I quickly open the front door and escort the aforementioned "rowdy pasanga" out of my life, hoping they do not wander into anyone else's.
Do you want to die alone or do you not? It's a simple question with an even simpler answer. Once you're clear about that, then—and only then—should you speak to other humans. In the meantime, I highly recommend you keep your personal social experiments to yourself.
Frankly, if you are telling another human at 40 that you want to "go with the flow," what flow are you talking about? The flow into an old age home where you'll die alone, childless, and partnerless? We're 40, not 20. We have another 20 years to live, maybe 30.
Now, I won't die alone even with a dead husband, because I've specifically instructed my son to liquefy brownies and pour them into my IV tubes, alongside his wife and kids. He agreed on the single condition that I go on bumper car rides with him every Sunday for the rest of his life. I quickly agreed because it was a steal of a deal.
Coming back to the topic at hand: emotional unavailability. You're not Batman. You're just a man or a woman (depending on who is reading this). There are only so many places on the globe you can travel to. Your parents will eventually leave before you, and your siblings will be too busy leading their own lives, even if they want to participate actively in yours. So, good luck with all that emotional unavailability. May your soul rest in peace. My husband, who passed away five years ago, is definitely more alive than you are at this point.
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