The Privilege of Fitness: Why I'm Tired of Your Weight Loss Bragging

Yet another controversial piece of mine, but here goes nothing—I must call out this one category of despicable humans who think they've achieved everything in the world simply by being in shape. What do you want now? A gold medal for looking 20 at 50? No one's giving it to you, sirs or ma'ams. 

So you decided to take care of your health and made an active decision not to be a burden on your family and children by shaping up. So what? This is not an achievement that you brag about endlessly and rub in the faces of others. 

Now, if you work 17-to-18-hour shifts, take responsibility for aging parents at home, closely watch and manage the daily routines of a child or two, and still manage to lose weight? I will stand up and salute you. 

However, if you don't fall into this very specific category—if you just care about yourself and live like a little goldfish in a glass bowl with a makeup device bubbling oxygen for you (which basically means you're not even breathing on your own)—and then you lose weight and have the audacity to go around preaching to all and sundry that you lost 100 kilos, I will slap you with a metal chair so hard that even Thanos would wonder how that happened. 

Speaking as an ex-fat kid who is still "fat in the head," let me say very emphatically: keep your weight loss achievements to yourself. It's crass. Find a better hobby—read a book maybe, or read my blog—whatever catches your fancy. But whatever you do, do not, and I repeat, DO NOT brag about how you lost weight by starving, prioritizing your protein intake, and pumping iron. The rest of the world and I are not interested. 

Signed,

A mildly amused, but mostly peeved ex-fat kid, now an almost-shapely, almost-40-year-old mommy, out!