Cognizant Technology Solutions ; Post : Technical Writer

Today was a blurry haze of activity. I woke up at 6.20am, drove mom up the wall, to shove some food down my throat and kept chanting like a mantra, i don't want to get into CTS, I'll rot as a Technical writer. This aptitude test is merely a practise test for me, i just want to get a feel of how corporates employ college kids. I was both aloof and nervous as hell.

I reached college dot at 7.45 am. As i was parking my bike, my friend Archana said.. "Dude.. WHAT are you wearing..???!!!" I just grinned and retorted, "Machi, who cares? I'm just going for the aptitude test. I'm sure i wont clear it and hence the question of interview does not even arise" With that, we walked up the stairs and reached our class. No sooner had we sat down, we were asked to go to the 2nd floor seminar hall for our aptitude test. The first thing i noticed was a scary looking HUGE lump of blue, he looked constipated and could easily pass off to be a local gunda.

Soon, he began distributing the question papers, we had 4 rounds to clear, one of which was purely maths. I concentrated real hard and tried to solve these sums for less than 2 minutes, after which i figured, what the hell, why am I wasting my energy on this crap? So i closed my eyes, played inki pinki ponki and shaded options A, B, C or D.

After a dragging 2 hours of the frigging aptitude test, we were free birds. We marched back to class and chuckled at each other over our fantabulous performances. I declared, "This test has enlightened me, I'm packing my bags, leaving this country, and I'm going to pursue my PG in firang land with hot firang men" And so ensued our post aptitude test discussion.

15 minutes later, we were all called back to the auditorium. The 'i mean business'/ 'no nonsense' Cognizant lady, announced 8 names. Mine was on the 8 name list. I just opened and closed my mouth like a Gold fish and began to shiver a little. I tried drinking some water, but my hands did'nt let me, i spilt it over my outfit. The whole drinking water process was quite tiresome, so i turned to my friend, Abinaya and said, "Macha, I'm scared"

She immediately took me to my teacher, who grabbed my hand and said, "Listen, whats the worst that's going to happen? You may not get placed. So what? Also, look at it this way, you are going to get a feel of how corporates interview potential employees" I calmed down a few notches, smiled weakly and nodded my head.

My raw jittery nerves were somewhat calm now, but no sooner had this been done, a Surya wannabe (yes, he was scene potafying, like he was the sexiest man alive on the planet) came outside and announced my name, "Gayatri Bhadran, please go in for your interview" I was the first person to be interviewed.

My panel of interviewees were quite sweet, 3 women. I was a little nervous at first and didn't look her in the eye, but a little later i realized that the questions thrown at me were so damn easy, so i gained some confidence and spoke to her like she was my best friend.

After the interview ordeal was through, i walked out to be mobbed by my seniors, (PG grads) who were also shortlisted for the interview, i told them the questions i was asked and i advised them to calm down.

An hour later, we were all called back inside again, and we were told that it was a tough decision to choose among us, we were all pretty good and yada yada yada, the usual post interview talk. He ended his talk, by saying, the results would be announced right then and we'd get our call letters as well.

The 8 of us began discussing Cognizant, the work culture, the timings, the office building and so on. The more i sat there and heard the discussion, the more i wanted to get into this company.

Thankfully by then, the rest of my classmates trooped down, i ran out to them, clung on to Ritu, gave her a loooong hug and grinned like a fool for a few seconds.

We were once again, called back in, this time, i made Ritu sit right next to me, i gripped her hand tightly, took a few deep breaths and waited patiently for the results to be announced.

Soon, the 'i mean business' lady walked in with my teacher, and announced that only 4 of us had been chosen. At this point, i began to hyperventilate, she started reading out the names, i looked at my teacher, she smiled broadly at me and kept looking at me.

3 names were announced, the 3 women in front of me stood up. I clapped half heartedly along with the rest of the women seated in the Audi. "Gayatri Bhadran" she read out from the paper. My name sounded so good, coming out of her mouth.

I could hear my classmates whistling and hooting. I was stunned, shocked, overjoyed, teary eyed and nauseous.

As soon as she walked out of the Audi, my entire class, ran to me and group hugged me, that moment was priceless. I'll cherish it forever. Thank you class, thank you ma'am and thank you Ritu, my dear dear friend who i clung on to, during the whole nerve racking experience.

As soon as i got my call letter, i showed it to my friends and couldn't wait to reach home to tell my folks, that, the fruit of their loins had finally done something right and hadn't screwed up for a change.

Malluness..

August 27th was day 1 of Onam. I walked in to class and a classmate asked me "Dude why are you here? Go home" I replied, "Why babe?" She retorted, "Its onam today!!" To which i replied, "Oh, it is?" *sheepish grin*

Is the malluness in me dead and gone? Have i become less mallu and more everything else? How come i dont have a Lola kutty accent? I'm an ardent Mohanlal fan, but i don't remember the names of most of his movies.

I hate coconuts and all things to do with coconut like Bounty bar, coconut water, Cookie Man coconut cookies and a whole load of other stuff which are coconutey in nature.

Next, i dont have the signature curly mallu hair, i don't have an obsession for gold jewellery, HATE gold in fact, prefer junk jewellery.

The only thing, that probably gives away my malluness is the word "Aiyyada". It's such a cute word. I think, it should be incorporated, in ALL languages.

Little girls and random interesting man..

Today's workout was real fun. I ran for 20 minutes straight. Good feeling. Felt real proud of myself. The only thing that bothered me though was this little kid, this girl, she was walking on the machine next to me (apparently her mom and dad were working out, so they brought her along, now why do parents do that, really, REALLY..?! At that age i couldn't spell the word Gym) Anyway, she was ogling at me, constantly. And i felt very conscious, i was getting a little irritated, and i almost snapped at her.

I HATE people ogling at me. Ever since i was little, Ive hated people ogling/staring at me. Mom tells me that when we used to go out and random strangers merely looked, or pinched my cheeks, I'd brawl and make her lug me on her hip, till we reached home. I suppose the child in me, is alive and kicking even now.

After my workout was done, i went to the bike parking lot, to take out my vandi and there was another kid, probably 3-4 years old, and she ogled as well, she just kept standing there watching my every move critically.

It FREAKED me out, she looked right through me. I felt a little jittery. Little girls have this effect on me, they ogle, i get scared, i run away. Its a vicious cycle. I think i need psychiatric help. This is not normal behaviour.

Little girls aside, moving on to the much spoken about topic on most of my posts.. *drum roll* MAN..! (enna koduma idhu saravanan..? :/)

I just can NOT for the life of me, figure out the species called men. Especially when they're super intelligent, mature and wise. Now i know, these kind of men are probably way out of my league, but they intrigue me, they simulate my non existent grey cells, they're trippy, they're fascinating, they're a whole lot of adjectives. If i were asked to sum up all these adjectives and label them with just one adjective, I'd say, they're so bloody turning on. *drools*

If i were given a choice of a hot looking dumb guy versus an average looking super intelligent guy, I'd run to the latter any day. Looks don't last forever, once the lust fades away, intelligent conversation is the only thing, that can drag on man-woman relationships.

Anyway, that said, the current man in question, i presume is super intelligent, i PRESUME because i haven't had ONE decent conversation with him yet. But, i have read his blog, and he sounds really REALLY nice.

I get the feeling, no let me rephrase, i KNOW he's purposely avoiding long drawn out conversations with me. Now, the wisest thing for me to do, is to just let things be, and move on.

But God (yes, HE is in my scapegoat when it comes to all MAN related things) made us THIS way, he makes us yearn for things which is beyond our league, things which don't really make us happy. Why do we always run to forbidden fruits? Why cant we just live and let live?

But then again, stuck up snob, why can't he just talk to me for 3 hours at a stretch, fall in love with me, and treat me like a goddess. Hrmph.

Placements..

Our placements have officially begun. Cognizant came today, gave us a 2 hour presentation, they're looking for technical writers and graphic designers.

Their aptitude test plus interview for technical writers is on the 30th, and if we're selected our placement letters will be given to us on the same day. I'm nervous as hell, this is it.
My 17 years of education finally leads up to a 1.5 hours aptitude test plus a 20 minute interview. Will i make it? Am i good enough?

I now look at ALL working people with awe, admiration and respect. I tend to compare myself with them and i ask myself, what the hell have i achieved in my 20 years of life? Would i be able to stand on my own two feet, be financially independent and don a crisp smart looking suit?

What to wear for an interview, what not to say during an interview, making an official email address, writing my resume. This is the REAL world and i cant wait to leave a mark on it.

PS : I'm very VERY scared.

Long Distance Relationships..

I was watching How I Met Your Mother, and i realized that long distance does not work out. I always knew it didn't work out. But the eternal optimist in me didn't agree. Love crosses all barriers, including the geographical one. After today's episode of How I met your mother, I'd say I've been the world's biggest fool.

Some of the dialogues in today's episode, regarding long distance relationships were :
Long distances are meant only for girls, all talk and no sex
It's awful, just awful

Today's show was a wake up call for me, because :

Barney tells Ted and Marshall at the suit shop, that he was in FOUR long distance relationships.

Point to note : long distance equals license to stray and fool around, because its not a REAL relationship in the first place.

Ted and Victoria have been seeing each other for two months, hence making life changing decisions at this point would be absurd. So they decide to break up, but at the airport they change their minds, and solemnly promise to each other that they'd break all odds and try a long distance thing. But Ted's narration right after the promise scene was "But it didn't work out, long distance relationships are awful, just awful"

Point to note : Having a long distance relationship with the most awesomestestest of guy/girl, who you think is your soul mate will KILL the relationship.

Note to Self : Make someone kick the nicely shaped butt (thank you very much Fitness One) if thoughts of long distance relationships arise, however great the guy is.

Post Sickness Day..

I've always had the feeling that something terrible would happen to me, and 4 days back it did. I had the MOTHER of ALL DISEASES.. cough, cold, stomach infection and constant hurling all through the better half of the night. I really thought, i was dying a slow death. I was so weak, i could barely stand up. And i was depressed as hell, partly because my granny had just left town and gone back to Trivandrum, and partly because i hated the feeling, of not having control over my own body.

Today, i feel almost back to normal, the cough-cold is still around, my stomach still hurts, but what really made the difference was going back to college, back to my friends. I missed them all so very much. It felt soo good to be back in that class, to be giggling and talking loudly with each other. I was on a high. No moment can get better than this. Each day, in that class room, is truly a gift.

I was starving, for the past 4 days because, i couldn't digest anything i was eating, i was throwing up like a machine, but today, at college, the 30 minute break we had, i had a bite from all their lunch boxes. And i didn't feel a tinge of nausea.

Right after that, we had an orientation session with Google, they had come to select a Campus Ambassador, someone who would work as a bridge between them and with college. So, all of us filled out the application form, waited half an hour, for the results, and none of our names were read out.

"I'm never going to use Google again" i announced with a broad grin to all my friends, they grinned back and said, "Macha, lets wear shirts henceforth that reads We Hate Google." Loud giggling followed, after which we all parted ways.

So, today may not have been a very spectacular or a fruitful day in any sense, but today was my "I'm alive and kicking again" day.

Thank you ladies, for bringing me back to life again. I love you all so very much, and i will truly miss being a part of class of 2009. I cant believe we have exactly 7 months left. :(

Grudges..

The very word, leaves a very nasty aftertaste in my mouth. I just had the worst conversation with a used to be very good friend. His exact words were, " u are such a prude gayu... god help u change" "i ve been thinking of how to tell u this after each of our conversation... and decided,straight approach best suited u ... that's all.. somebody had to tell u .. sorry it was me"

And a lot of sentences in between which i cant say because I'm too embarrassed and hurt. Now from his point of view, all the above stated is justified because i have been really REALLY mean to him, but not without a reason.

Rewinding back to 5 years ago, the way we met was right out of a fairy tale. He was definitely the sweetest guy, I'd ever met in my 14 years of existence. (Who brings a HUGE bouquet of red roses for a girl you barely know)

Things were fine, till my mean streak popped out (i was a very nasty little girl then, i wonder why) and everything went downhill after that.

He still makes an effort to come and see me whenever he is in town, but i can sense the rift between us now. And this saddens me. One minute you're such good friends with a person and the next you're complete strangers, who meet up just for old times sake.

And when i'm sad, i snap, i snap like an alligator, and he unfortunately is the victim of my line of fire. I'm sorry dude. Really am.

I'm really not that bad a person, my friends stand testimony to that. But hey, go ahead and hate me if you want to, balances out the whole, love-hate circle.

How to loose 10 kgs in 5 months..

Month 1
Goof around the weights and the cardio machines, drive your trainer up the wall, eat like a dog.

Month 2
Continue goofing around, go for a physio session, your physio tells you that you, have lost some weight and a few inches everywhere, ponder over this new found achievement for a few minutes and get on with life.

Month 3
People begin to comment on how good you look, fellow gymmers begin to check you out, a feeling of pride and confidence creeps in.

Month 4
There's no looking back now, eat like a bird, workout like a dog, go for another physio session to boost your already inflated ego.

Month 5
Get a weird stomach infection, which makes you hurl all night, and naturally, you cant eat at all, because food makes you hurl.

In conclusion
Weight loss is cool, if you want to look sexy and want people to check you out. But health wise, your resistance falls and you become a walking talking self obsessed zombie.

Tagged..

Righto.. so Ive been tagged by a certain, psychedelic blogger, so below mentioned are 8 random facts about moi..

1. I love the vanilla ice cream, which is nicely packaged in a white plastic ball, with a blue cap lid. The vanilla never to seems to end inside it and it reminds me of my grandfather and the beach in Trivandrum. I recall vividly eating at least 4 of these things in one go, and cleaning them with sea water and then filling it with sand, and bringing it back home as a memento.

2. On the weekends, after particularly tiresome rigorous and back breaking workouts at the gym, i come back home, giggling and blushing. The world seems like a less evil place, i see colours, birds chirping a happy song, and most importantly, i feel like a goddess. I feel exceptionally beautiful and pretty. The very same workouts on the weekdays though, don't have the same affect on me.

3. Each time I'm about to sneeze, i think of potential people who could be thinking about me, and if my sneeze has been stopped at the same time when i visualised a person in my brain, i presume he/she is thinking about me.

4. I'm shit scared of lizards. Each time one comes into my bedroom, i run behind it, with my bathroom water pusher in hand. I somehow manage to chase it out of my room. And I'm extremely patient, i will run behind the disgusting, smaller dinosaur version, for as long as it takes.

5. I count while brushing my teeth, 50 strokes for each row.

6. I have a lousy memory, when it comes to dates. I forget birthdays of my closest friends, my close cousins, mom, dad. And i have to mention my older sister Sowmia, i forgot her birthday this year. She was in Trivandrum visiting my grandmother. So, i called her on her birthday and spoke to her like i always do, which goes in the lines of "Ay machi.. Wassup di? How are things" and then i hung up. At the fag end of the day, mom asked me, whether i had wished the cousin in question, i felt like a complete ass for forgetting, called her up immediately and wished her, whilst she laughed her heart out and asked "So who reminded you?" I felt very small, because she is one person who is always loaded with gifts galore for me, irrespective of the occasion.

7. I hate 3rd, 4th and 5th standard boys, they're violent, they box each other up, swear at each other and throw movie dialogues around like "Daaaaiiii.. Unna Konnuduve"

8. I love deserted open empty roads, because I'm a speedoholic. Crowded roads are fine as well, i just seek for the gaps in the traffic and i zip by. But, if i have a pillion rider with me, i drive at 30kmph because i feel responsible for the person's life and i would be guilty for life if something happened to them. I have to mention here, my friend Archana who was once sitting behind me, while i was riding, i overtook 2 auto rickshaws which were very close to each other, i drove by in the little gap between the 2 autos, and Archana's toe got jammed in one auto rickshaw's wheel. To date, i feel guilty as hell for hurting her toe.

Him..

Metal was life, until i met him, I was always anti-bhajans, anti-old Tamil songs, and anti Enrique's girly vocals.. For the life of me, i couldn't understand how a man could strum Opeth one minute and the next minute switch to an old Tamil song, which i would have some vague recollection of.

He was not perfect. He had the temper of a rabid dog. When he got pissed, God help me, and God help the people around him.

He had the maturity of a 50 year old woman. His words of wisdom, were priceless. They still linger in my head when things go screwy.

I have a lousy memory when it comes to dates. But, here are some dates i can never forget.. 29th September 2006, the day we met and spoke all night. December 25th, the last message i read from him. He sounded unhappy and worried.

We fought like animals. We'd say the meanest of things to each other, hurt each other to the T and in less than 2 hours we'd patch up.

To say I cant live without him, would be absurd, because i lived 19 years quite happily without knowing of his existence. And I'm quite sure i can live the rest of my life, quite peacefully, without him in it. But, life just doesn't seem right without him around. I don't like waking up at 3am, and sobbing into my pillow on random nights.

I remember distinctly, one of our BIG fights, i told him.. "Just stay away from me.. Don't talk to me till your stupid exams are done with" And i logged out of yahoo without saying bye. In less than 15 minutes i called him, i got his voice inbox. I didn't hear from him until his exams were done with. After 3 days, of cold war, we logged onto yahoo messenger, apologised for 1 hour to each other. After which i called him, and he strummed a cheesy Enrique song for me.

Him : Would u dance, if i asked u to dance?
Me : No
Him : Would you cry if you saw me crying
Me : No
Him : Would you tremble if I touched your lips
Me : No no and NO..!!!! Grr
Him : Alright alright.. *chuckle*

Looking back now at that very moment, I wish i hadn't stopped him, because whenever i listen to that song now, I break down.

Script Approved..

In the movie, Pursuit of Happyness Chris Gardner's only aim was to get the internship at Dean Witter's offices, get a job there and lead a happy and peaceful life.. He eventually achieved all that and more, but NOT easily, he had to go through a zillion hellish experiences.

When i woke up, this morning, I felt nothing like Chris Gardner. I was a calm, composed woman with an air of an ice cube, IE chilled and brain dead.

As a part of my curriculum, i have to do a 10 minute Documentary. I figured, 10 mins, no biggie. Should be fun. And i left it at that. I got busy with the motions of gym, movies and the occasional bouts of self pity/depression.

Back to this morning, i had to go to college, for my Editing class and i figured, i might as well meet the old hag, who is in charge of approving our shooting scripts.

When i walked into the room, my friends and classmates were already seated around the table, with her at the head. I grinned sheepishly at her and took a seat near my friend. I looked at her script, synopsis, outline, treatment, research, and a 4 column script of ten pages. I gave a her a "Dude, what the fuck?" look. Whats the difference between outline and treatment anyway, I pondered.

I turned to look at the hag, she was being her stuck record self as usual, harping on the same sentences over and over. She has an acute case of verbal diarrhoea. She just loves chewing people's ears off. Suddenly, dad seemed like the lesser evil. I wished i could trade places right then. I preferred listening to Dad's nonsensical chatter about the Nazis,aeroplanes, shares, forensic investigations, Attila the Hun, his security agency and god knows what else, to this woman's yap-yap-yap.

Finally after a few dragging minutes, my chance to flaunt my 2 page 'script' was 'bestowed upon me'. (Oh joy) She grabs my Stic file, looks at me with a shocked expression and asks me, "What is this?" I answer back calmly, "My script ma'am"

Her : Where is your research work? Have you done your homework? I cannot accept this.
Me ( slightly worried now) : But ma'am THIS is it.
Her : Please wait
Me : (stares into space)

10 seconds later,

Her : How is it that you have missed out on all this while all your friends have done their work? Please take a look at their work

Me : Wokay ma'am.

And i walk out of the room and run to the editing suite where i find two of my friends already seated on plastic chairs. I narrate to them my tale of woe. They look more worried than i should've been at that point of time. One of them shoves at me her stic file and the other advices me to go to the nearest Internet cafe.

The walk from college till the cafe was nerve-racking. The details had JUST sunk in. If i don't, get my script approved TODAY from the hag, i wont be able to shoot my documentary, and i wont get the college equipment on the actual shoot date.

As soon as i reached the cafe, and sat down opposite a computer, my fingers shot out like a Rocket post countdown. I was done in 15 minutes. I ran back to college, with my "many more pages and details now" script.

I waited once again, for my chance to come, she took my stic file from me, after giving me an 'Oh no, not YOU again' look.

Her : What is the objective of your show?
Me : Ma'am dream big, achieve bigger
Her : I don't want all this blah blah blah of words in your synopsis. I want to know what your objective is. You say you want to do a profile on these 4 women. But their professions have no connection at all. What exactly are you trying to say?
Me : Ma'am why should their professions have a connection at all? I'm just trying to show a few well established women in their respective fields of work. Plus, I'm trying to say that WE are the future. WE have to tap our hidden potentials, stretch it to the maximum and eventually the world will be under our fingertips.

(Argument Continues)

Her : You're a lazy person
Me : Sure, what would that make YOU? (not out loud)

(Argument Continues)

Her : Okie, your script is approved, but you have to work on it further. Please mail it to me
Me : Thanks a lot ma'am
Her : Good luck ma.

During the whole arguing process, i was nervous and tense. The blood on my face had probably flown to other parts of my body. And when i walked out of that room, I was still cold, partly with fear and partly because of the strong air conditioning in the room.

Honestly, productions, shooting, handling a camera, NOT my cup of tea. I don't have my heart and soul into it at all. But after this morning, I realized, I HAVE to make a kick ass documentary. I want the hag to watch it and think to herself, Oh my, that girl has talent.

My Dad..

My Dad.. Ex- Army Officer. Social butterfly. Workaholic. Sweet tooth. Chatterbox. The Multi tasker. The ladies man. Soon to be kickass Salsa dancer. There are one too many phrases to describe my dad. And whatever I write about him, would be saying too little.

Growing up, i never saw too much of him because he was always posted to some exotic location or the other, so i pictured him as a Superhero, the annihilator of all evil in the world (he fought a war when he was 18!! how cool is that?) some-one who i caught a few glimpses of, every once in a blue moon, and he always came loaded with goodies. And before i could blink an eyelid, he'd be gone again. And my wait would continue all over again, for him to be back again next year or the year after that.

Finally when i was 10, Dad got posted to Chennai, and i was made to pack my bags and bid adieu to my grandparents and my home of 6 years, Trivandrum. Finally, we were a family. Dad, mom, me, big brother. All under one roof.

Mom was always the disciplinarian and dad, the eternal fun train. If i want something real bad, i just have to say the word 'Daddy' in the most school girlish, i'm the apple of your eye way possible and he melts. ALWAYS. Victory is mine. ALWAYS.

Now you'd think, I'm a spoil brat. Yes, I am, 105% spoilt through and through. Despite the fact that he does things for me constantly and makes sure that I get my way, I have a short temper around him. I scream and yell at him, for the most pettiest of reasons.

Just an hour back, he asked me to heat a huge sandwich for him in the microwave. The sandwich was neatly packed in a plastic transparent foil. So, naturally, I undid the foil, placed the sandwich on a plate and set it inside the microwave. No sooner, had I done this, dad walked into the kitchen and said, "Don't put it in with the plastic foil". I didnt say a word, i merely gave him a disgruntled grumpy look. So he switched off the microwave and took out the sandwich. I did'nt hesitate to chew his head off. "Do you think i'm 5 years old? Why did you have to take it out now to see if the wrapper was on or not?" With that, I walked away, muttering curses under my breath.

I settled down with my sandwich in front of the TV, 10 seconds into the munch-munch, I began to feel guilty as hell. Why did I have to make a big deal of something so silly like that? Could'nt i have just let it go?

So, the minute I finished my sandwich, I ran to dad and apologized for being a rude bitch. He looked up at me from the book that he was reading, smiled and said, "You're a girl after all, you're entitled to your mood swings, it takes a lot of effort for a person to say sorry and plus i've known u since u were that small. So vent out all you want on me"

I felt the tears stinging in my eyes. Why do parents put up with us eternally bitter selfish breed? I think, they deserve much better children.

Musicians..

I think it's a universally known fact (okie not universally, I'm exaggerating, just my friend's circle would definitely NOT comprise the whole universe) that i have a thing for long haired musicians.

This post would explain why..

I was 15, he was 18. The HE in question was my first brush with the long haired musician variety. I had an elephant size crush on the lad. He was wild, completely mad, uber talented with his strings, chubby, curly haired and bloody exciting. I was probably more in awe with him than boing boing over him. Nothing happened between us of course because either he was out of my league or i was out of his. And we abruptly lost touch with each other.

My 15 year old brain began to loathe him. (Remember the story of the grapes and the wolf, when wolfie boy couldn't get to the darn grapes he started loathing it and called it sour, same principal was set in motion here)

Now, i have this really bad habit of NOT letting go of things. I somehow can't seem to forget, move on and let peace reign. I let petty things gnaw me inside out. The musician in question, is really famous now and i hadn't heard his music till half an hour ago. I was flicking through some music channels and this band caught my attention. I instantly began tapping my feet to their music. After about 2 minutes, i looked close at one of the members and i saw a familiar looking round thing.

It struck me then, that, to hate musicians is one thing, to NOT appreciate their talent is a whole different ball game altogether. Respect talent, put aside personal differences, give music a chance to do it's thing and life can indeed be, something on the lines of, happily ever after.

Final Note : Musicians, pig headed or mature, applaud their skills and walk away politely.

The Downs..

It's been 7 months and passing
The rawness of pain has been replaced by a numbness of acceptance..
The acceptance, of a cold reality.

Where did we go wrong? Where did I go wrong?
How could you walk away from it all?
Was i living in a web of lies, spun so perfectly by a master craftsman?

I want to hate you. I want to hate you with all my heart..
But i can't bring myself to feel anything, but respect for you.
I fell in love with you, long before i'd seen your face
I heard your voice filling my senses, much before i ever spoke to you
You were all that i needed, all that i wanted..
My world was YOU.

I miss you, would be saying too little.
You took away from me, my best friend, my teacher, my love, my better half.
You left behind a flesh and blood body with a scarred empty soul.

And then there was a solitary tear which rolled down my cheek..
I cried. I cried with all my heart and soul. Angered by the injustice of it all.
I do not deserve this.. I do not deserve this.
I want to forget. I want to let go.

Once Upon a Time in Mexico..

A guitar-fighter. He pulls a few strings and then goes boom boom boom with his guitar. Now what in the world, could be more sexier than that? And throw in the long messy hair, which keeps falling into his eyes, the way his fingers move on the strings and yes the fact that the guitar fighter in question, is Antonio Banderas. *drool* I think i died and went straight up to 7th heaven.

The story is pretty simple. The guitar fighter aka El Mariachi is hired by a CIA officer, Agent Sands played by, Johnny Depp to kill General Marquez. This Marquez man murdered El's wife and child and he has been hired by a Mexican drug lord Armano Barillo, to kill the Mexican President.This is the general outline of the movie. There are a few subplots as well.

If you're a lover of bang-bang dishum dishum flicks, then dont miss out on this one. And a word to music lovers, the background score was just mmmmuah. I CANNOT explain it in mere words. You just HAVE to hear it, to believe it. Mexican music is the most SOULFUL music, (to say the least) i have heard in my entire life. It makes you want to dance, cry, laugh and it leaves you begging for more. After the movie was over, i went back to Scene selection and played the music bit of the movie all over again.

Watch Once Upon a Time in Mexico. Period.

Gymming..

Gymming. When the word first came into my life, i just groaned and thought to myself oh hell NO. There is NO WAY i'm going to waste my life in a stupid room full of huge machines.

I took up a personal training thing for the first one month, burnt a nice BIG hole in my wallet, played along and put on 2 kgs at the end of it.

I was adamant to let the puppy fat stay. Who was i without the puppy fat? The chubby cheecks and the flab in general is who i am.

Then i noticed my fellow gymmers, i really LOOKED, and i saw this : Fit, in shape, good looking men and women busting their ass on the threadmill, EFX, and lifting weights bigger than them. Satya ka gyaan hit me like a metal thing falling on my head from the skies. (like the Roadrunner show)

I HAD to loose weight.. Cute and chubby is OUT, fit and active and dangerous curves are IN. And so it began, a painful journey of eating way lesser than what i normally eat. 1 hour of cardio and 8 sets of weight training later, I’m proud to say this, i have lost, 6 kgs.

And the best part is, i LOVE gymming now. My day is not complete if i dont sweat like a pig, pant like a dog and make strange foo foo noises.

I strongly recommend a 2 hour workout to junta who is the OLD me. It gives you a natural high. For the rest of the day, you'll be all giggly and drunk on fresh air. And your energy levels would be so high, it would surprise you.

Tooral Mazha..

Tooral Mazhais are the most annoying things that can happen to us "if i sit at home for longer than a minute my head will explode" people..

Rains are associated with joy, beauty, giver of life, 2 lovers sitting on a tree and k-i-s-s-i-n-g.. and so on.. I wish i could whack the penner of those phrases and ask him/her, are you out of your mind..? Do u LIKE being house arrested..?

Back to Tooral Mazhais, they're not even REAL rains.. Tooral rains are like dogs peeing on random telephone poles and car tyres and running away to find a new spot to pee on.. The frequency of the drip-drip is unpredictable..

And its this unpredictability factor, which makes Tooral Mazhais even more annoying.. I woke up this morning late as usual, gobbled some breakfast and rushed out to my bike. Dad insisted, "Wear your raincoat.. looks like it's going to pour.." The embarrassing bright yellow Winnie the Pooh raincoat flashed in my brain, i preferred freezing to death over looking like a spectacle. So i said aloud, "Naah.. its not raining now.. i'll take my chances and not wear my raincoat pop.."

With that, i kickstarted my bike and vroomed onto the roads.. No sooner had i crossed the first traffic signal, it started to pour. So, out came Winnie the Pooh. *groan*

As soon as i reached my college parking lot, i flung Winnie into the deepest corner of my bike.. That done, i heaved a sigh of relief and thanked the good Lord for not letting anyone see me dressed as a clown..

Rains.. LOUSY stupid rains..

First Dates..

First dates are strange things. You're dressed your best, you're nervous as hell and you want to leave a good impression. It's almost like giving a job interview, without getting a job at the end of it. And now all these factors loom really large especially when the date is someone you ACTUALLY like. I don't believe in love at first sight, but i DO believe in crushes at first sight. I saw him, i went wowie and the rest is history.

So, my first date with the lad was not too bad. I would'nt term it a COMPLETE disaster. I could've babbled a little less maybe, but i was nervous as hell. My heart was bungee jumping inside my chest and my brain was on a temporary holiday to the Bahamas.

I was completely drunk on this ragged,could've ironed his shirt at least lad. I took in the details.. the ear-ring, the little patch on his left eyebrow, the hint of a stubble on his face, the chunky watch on his wrist, the uncombed messy hair, the boyish grin. I was on a date with a Greek God.

So, what happened next you ask? Do we have a happy ever after ending? Do i confess the violent boing boings of my heart to him? And does he grin and give me a nice warm bear hug? Nope. Sadly, none of the filmy eeshtyle drills happened. Instead, we parted with waves and polite tadas and vroomed away, in opposite directions.

Some things, are just too good to be true, like shooting stars, one minute they're around and the next they're gone. First dates and shooting stars are quite the same. You catch a tiny little glimpse of joy and before you can wallow in the moment, its gone.

The plane ride from hell..

First up, i'm shit scared of heights, be it on the giant wheel, the roller coaster, the ranger, you name it, i'm scared of them all. I'm the loudest to scream and the first to hurl in any of these rides. So, for someone like me to board a plane and stick my head like a dog, on that little window thing and look at the view below, is QUITE nerve-racking.

This was not my first plane ride, i've been there done that. What i really REALLY look forward to, in any flight, is the food, its all in miniature. Yummy food in blow up your nose portions, a great Indian sweet thrown in and tea or coffee, is the standard menu for an economy class air ticket.

I boarded flight IC-932 at 6.40 pm, sweated my pores out like a pig for the next 15 minutes and when it took off the runway my face was plastered on the window, and i kept looking down at the view till i could see no more of it. The next 25 minutes were agonizing because the hot steward men still had'nt served the food and i kept digging mom on the arm, whispering loudly in her ear, "where's the freaking food?"

An announcement of turbulence and bad weather later, food was FINALLY served. I was midway through my meal when the plane started jerking a little and i thought to myself, "oh yippie, i'm finally home, the plane must have landed." Instead, the captain announced his apologies and requested the cabin crew to take their places immediately. The sandwich i was eating was stuck in my throat, my tummy was brewing up a mini-cyclone and i whispered hoarsely to myself, "i'm going to die on a freaking plane OR be stuck on an island like those men and women from the TV series Lost"

But i was quickly distracted from thoughts of death by the yummy Rasagolla and 15 minutes later we were in Chennai. The first thing i did as soon as i climbed down the steps of the plane was, to touch the ground with my fingers and feel solid earth once again.

My Doctor lady..

The old - the young, the rich - the poor, the posh fancy car riders - the Enfield bad boy riders.. They all have one thing in common.. DISEASES.

I caught my usual cough - cold - i think i'm going to hurl last night's dinner syndrome. I tried age old remedies suggested by mom.. I gulped 6 glasses of steaming hot milk with tumeric powder and i also inhaled hot water with cabbage leaves with a blanket over my head. But the cough-cold monster did'nt seem to budge. I could almost hear them saying, try a little harder sucker.. *evil grin*

Waking up with a brick like feeling in my chest and a toad like voice today morning, was the last straw. I croacked.. "Mommmmiiieeee, I want to go to my doctor lady. *sniff*

My doctor lady, is an adorable really fair, rolly polly thing, with a HUGE friendly grin. She talks nonstop, UNTIL you remind her that she has other patients, waiting in line for her services. Her consultation hours officially begin from 10am to 12 pm. So i kept reminding mom to get ready FAST so that we would'nt have to be waiting for a whole hour and a half before she could see me.

We reached DOT at 9.55 am. There was boy and an old man already seated on the plastic chairs . Mom and me took our seats as well and all 4 of us sat in mute silence, in a half trance - half meditating state. The old man looked at me questiongly with a "You're an able bodied more than healthy looking young woman, you should'nt even be here".. In return i coughed and sniffed. He seemed satisfied with my answer and looked away.

The only sounds that could be heard, apart from occassional coughs and sniffs were the sounds of cars and birds outside. So the sound of an Enfield roaring startled us a little, we all turned around to the source of the roar and in comes a smart looking thatta,with 3 lines on his forehead and a Kumudham magazine in hand.

The lights in doctor lady's clinic, were still not on. It was dark as night. We continued sitting in our trance like positions. A posh looking big car pulled up a little while later, and a very cute looking thatta-paati couple jumped out. Then an autorickshaw pulled up, with a smart mother-daugther duo in jeans and pajama.

The boy smiled into space, i turned around to follow his line of vision and saw Doctor lady rolling in. The lights were FINALLY on.. Hallelujah!!

Mom and i waited patiently for our turn to come, and finally we walked into her cool a/c clinic filled with her cute gizmos. She smiled and said, "But its not the wheezing season yet." Then she made me lie down on her little bed thing, asked me to breathe in, breathe out, do 'aaaa', the usual jazz. Then she asked me for my name (a ritual she's been doing for the past 8 years) and wrote down the names of the tablets, whilst talking non-stop about nothing in particular.

Moral of the Story : More than the tablets and the medication prescribed, it's the doctor lady who makes the difference. Just catching a glimpse of her round self, and listening to her ramble on, makes a person feel fit. Doctors really are miracle workers, the modern-day knights in shining armours. I salute the profession.